Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking
by dayana82
Summary: This is what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'. Rated T for later chapters. Beware, fluff in later chapters. Don't like, don't read! MorganGarcia Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 1

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** nothing's mine, it all belongs to CBS and so on

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** some angst and hurt/comfort

"Go out with me!" Derek softly said.

Penelope smiled at him that cute, innocent and yet so seductive smile he loved so much on her face. "You don't need to do this, gorgeous. I'm fine." she assured.

"I'm serious." he replied. "I want to go on a date with you."

This time she frowned and looked down. "Derek, I don't want a pity date."

"It's not a pity date." he objected, wincing a little at the sound of his proper name. Last time she'd called him that her next words had been: You suck! "I asked you out before… all that happened, remember?"

She snorted still refusing to meet his eyes: "Just because you were sorry."

"No" Derek assured. "I mean, I was sorry. And I was jealous! I didn't want you to go out with this guy because… because I felt like I'd let my chance pass. I want to go out with you. And if this is a pity date, then you'd be the one taking pity on me."

"You don't need pity dates." She grumbled turning back to her computers. "You can ask any woman in the Bureau and I'm rather sure they'll all gladly go on a date with you."

"I don't want to go out with any woman." Derek softly replied taking a step closer to her. "I want to go out with you."

She laughed dryly. "Sure. See, I'm grateful that you took such a good care of me. But that's it, I'm fine. You don't need to go out with me."

"But I want to." he said a little desperately.

This time he didn't get an answer at all.

Sighing Derek ran his hand over his head. Maybe he was going too fast. Maybe he could convince her to go on a not-quite-a-date date with him. "Baby girl, do you already have… any plans for the New Year's party?" he carefully asked.

"Yeah" she nodded without turning towards him. "I won't go, that's my plan."

"Go there with me!" he begged.

Slowly Penelope turned her chair to frown at him. Then she sighed: "I already told you, I won't go on a date with you, Derek. Now leave it alone, please!"

"It's not a date." he objected. "It's the official Bureau New Year's party. We'll all be there! And you and me are just… arriving and leaving together. You can't call that a date."

"As I told you, I don't plan to show up." shaking her head to emphasize her words she turned back to the computers once again.

"Please, sweetness, no one should ring in the New Year alone." he tried to give her his most irresistible smile even though she couldn't see it. "It's going to be fun."

"Derek…"

"No date!" he promised, defensively raising his hands. "Just you and me hanging around and having fun, ringing in the New Year. We did that before!"

Why on earth was he so obsessed with that date thing? Probably because he wasn't used to being blown off. "Okay" she finally sighed. "JJ tried to convince me to come to the party anyway and I'm rather sure neither of you will give up on that until I agree."

"Most definitely!" Derek smiled. It wasn't much since it wasn't quite a date, but at least it was something. A step forward. All he needed to do at this party was show her that a date with him could be a lot of fun.

Shaking her head again Penelope sighed: "I'm going to regret this."

"No, you're not. I won't let you regret it, I promise!" Derek smiled triumphantly and once again leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "See you around, goddess."

"Sure." she quietly answered. This was a bad decision and she knew it. She hadn't just refused to accept Derek's first invitation because she'd been pissed at him. There were so many problems about her and Derek dating.

First of all, they worked together and if this didn't work one of them would probably have to leave the office or the tension would eventually kill the dynamic of the team. And it surely would be her who left. Derek wouldn't give his job up and she'd never ask him to do so. But working together afterwards would be impossible, especially for her once he'd broken her heart.

Which immediately led to the second problem: They were such close friends and she didn't want to spoil that. She wanted him to be a part of her life – and the friendship they had was all she'd ever get from him.

Which led to problem number three: Derek was a player. So whatever it was that had made him interested in going out with her, it wasn't real feelings. Of course, he'd said he loved her and Penelope was sure he did. He loved her as a sister or a dear friend. Nothing more. But at least that much.

Which finally led to problem number four: She loved him, much more than she'd ever wanted to allow herself to fall for him. If she went on a date with him he would raise hope somewhere deep inside of her no matter how much she would try to repress it. Hope that there could be more. Hope that he really was in love with her. Hope that they could become happy together and be an item. Hope that only would be spoiled when in the end she'd realize that it wouldn't work or that he had played with her as he'd played with all the other women.

When she felt the tears welling up in her eyes Penelope concentrated on the file Hotch had ordered her to put together. She didn't want to think about her and Derek and all the things anymore that would never happen no matter how much she wanted it.

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"Go ahead, dance with her!" Penelope ordered pointing her head towards the pouting woman who had just left their table. She had been the fifth woman who'd asked him to dance with her tonight – and the fifth woman he'd blown off.

"Not in the mood." Derek shrugged and smiled at her.

Penelope raised an eyebrow: "You don't expect me to believe that, right? You being not in the mood to dance is as likely as… Hotch telling dirty jokes. You can dance with her, it's okay, really. As you pointed out, this is not a date."

"Still I'm here with you." He stated. "And I absolutely don't want to dance with anyone but you tonight."

Rolling her eyes she sipped at her drink: "I'm not going to dance with you."

"And I respect that." Derek assured. "But you'll have to respect that if you don't want to dance with me then I'm not going to dance at all."

"Hey, don't blame me for…"

"I don't blame you, goddess." He laughed. "I'm just not in the mood to dance with another woman. That's all."

"Why?" was all she could manage to say until she finally succeeded in collecting her thoughts at least to some extent. "I know you love to dance and you're great at it. I don't want to keep you from having fun."

Derek chuckled: "Baby girl, I haven't had so much fun in years. I'm enjoying this evening very much and I'd much rather stay here and keep talking to you than dancing with another woman who's not half as witty as you are."

She rolled her eyes again. What did he think he was accomplishing with all these compliments? "I didn't know you talked when you danced."

Derek sighed discouraged. He'd told her how beautiful she looked – which was far from being a lie – when he'd picked her up at her place and all she'd done was rolling her eyes. He'd tried to make a compliment about her intellect and still all she did was rolling her eyes. He was running out of ideas.

Derek had never had a problem flirting with women – he'd been more than successful in doing so. And he hadn't had a problem flirting with his baby girl as long as it remained playful. When it came to serious compliments she stonewalled him.

What had he done wrong? He'd told her how he felt and from the expression on her face he knew that those three words had been all she'd ever wished to hear from him. She'd even said it back. But still there seemed to be no way of them becoming an item.

Sure they were best friends and their relationship had only become stronger after she was shot. The problem was that he wanted more. He wanted his baby girl to be entirely, really and wholeheartedly his. She already was the most important part of his life but she didn't seem to know it yet.

Which led to the second problem he had. Penelope didn't believe that he really was in love with her. Why she couldn't believe it he couldn't tell. Okay, to be honest he had a vague idea. His whole life long he'd been a player. He'd enjoyed seducing women most of them for just one night. He had never promised anything, though, but Penelope didn't know that.

Which led to problem number three: Derek had no idea how to make her aware that she was different. He'd never wanted to fall in love. He had never thought he could feel like that for any woman. But Penelope wasn't any woman. She was unique, the wittiest, noblest and kindest woman he'd ever met. Everyday she managed to make him fall more for her without even noticing it.

Which immediately led to problem number four: He was desperately attracted to her. No woman had ever managed to do what she had achieved, although many of them had tried. Penelope had him wrapped around her little finger. And the worst thing was that it seemed that had never been her intention.

But he was happy to be here and have the opportunity to spend an evening with her. And as he had known it would be, it was pure fun – except for the desperation that grew inside him every time she rolled her eyes in response to one of his compliments. She looked so beautiful tonight, her long blonde locks framing her beautiful face, her perfect teeth behind these ruby lips and her deep brown eyes behind the purple-framed glasses.

However he wanted to believe that this evening was a start. After he'd given up on wooing her for the time being they'd started telling stories from their childhood. Derek talked a lot about all the good memories of his father he remembered before he died. How he'd taught him to ride a bike or how they'd gone fishing once just a few weeks before he'd been killed. How his father had promised they would go camping together and how they'd never gotten that chance.

Penelope told him about camping with her whole family and how her parents had made every effort to teach their children love and respect for every being in the world. Listening to her stories Derek studied her face and fell more for her with every word he heard. He never wanted to let her go again.

"Can you imagine that?" she chuckled. "My four brothers were playing with dolls. My parents wanted us to become open for anything."

"They did a great job if you ask me." Derek smiled at her. He could have slapped himself at the same second. He'd managed to ruin the amusing conversation they just had had because he'd once more spoken before thinking about the words. Now she would roll her eyes and probably stop telling him stories from her past.

But instead she smiled a little sheepishly and said in a low voice. "I wish you could have met them. They would have loved you."

"I'm rather sure the feeling would have been mutual." Derek smiled.

Penelope locked eyes with him and she swore she could see right into his heart. She could see the love in his eyes and for a short moment she believed that they could be real, that maybe – just maybe – this could work.

"Listen everyone!" Hotch's voice startled them. "These are the last seconds of the year 2007." He switched the TV on that Spencer and JJ had fastened on the wall so that everybody could see it and the screen showed a big watch. They all raised their glasses and started to count down.

"Ten… nine… eight…" the voices of two dozens of agents echoed through the bullpen. "… two… one… Happy New Year!"

"Happy New Year, baby girl." Derek smiled at the woman next to him and raised his glass.

"Happy New Year, hot stuff." she smiled back and chinked her glass with his.

They didn't stay much longer and about one a.m. they arrived at her apartment complex. The whole way to her home and even after they'd reached their destination they chatted, joked and laughed. About half an hour after Derek had parked the car in front of the front yard they said goodbye and Penelope got out of the car.

She turned and bent slightly forward to look at him. "Thank you." she smiled. "I… really enjoyed this evening."

Derek opened his mouth to answer that they should do that again sometime. But he was rather sure this would lead to another discussion about going out with each other and he absolutely didn't want to end the evening this way. So instead he gave her his most charming smile and replied: "Me too. I can't remember when the last time was that I had so much fun."

Her smile turned from slight to radiant and she said in a low voice. "Goodnight, sweetness."

"Goodnight, goddess." Derek watched her walk through the front yard towards the door and frowned when she hesitated before walking up the stairs staring down. He had been sure the rain would eventually wash the blood away but the stains were still clearly visible.

Penelope felt him watch her and she indulged in the fact that he obviously wanted to be sure that she got in safely. When her eyes fell upon the fading traces of blood she stopped. Shivering at the memory of Baylor and getting shot she walked up the stairs on the far left – as far away as possible from those traces.

When she closed the door behind her he took in a deep breath. The evening hadn't exactly gone the way he wanted it to go, but it could have gone much worse. Maybe he would be lucky and get a second opportunity like the New Year's party to ask her out. If this was the only way to spend an evening with her he would be content with that.

Sighing he started the engine. He felt a little desperate and considered asking his mother for some advice. She would probably laugh at him, he had never ever ask his mother for advice before when it came to a woman.

Derek Morgan had always been a man who knew how to win a woman's heart – but when it came to Penelope Garcia he didn't have a clue.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 2

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** nothing's mine, it all belongs to CBS and so on

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** some angst and hurt/comfort

When Penelope stepped out of her front door that morning she was completely speechless at the sight in front of her. Happy that they all had gotten the day off she had decided to go out for lunch. She didn't like cooking for just herself and mostly had something delivered. But sometimes she was in the mood to eat at her favorite restaurant.

"Oh… um… good morning." Derek smiled as he looked into her puzzled face.

"What… are you doing here?" she finally managed to ask.

"Well" he shrugged, got up and took off the gloves. "I… I bleached it." He pointed at the stairs where he had removed the last traces of her blood.

Penelope's eyes filled with tears as she saw the perfectly clean stairs. How often had she wanted to do that so she wouldn't have to look at the stains whenever she came or left her home? But she hadn't been able to remove her own blood.

Raising her head to smile at him she wasn't able to say more than a voiceless 'thank you'.

"You're welcome." Derek smiled. He hadn't been sure it was such a good idea to do that. He had feared she might blame him for not thinking she was capable of cleaning the stairs herself. But he couldn't stand the thought that she would have to see those stains again when she left her home the next time after he had seen how much that sight affected her.

She didn't say anything, just smiled at him with tears in her eyes.

Derek started to feel a little uncomfortable when she remained silent. "You know" he explained a little nervous. _Wait, you, Derek Morgan, are nervous talking to a woman?_ "I… I wanted to be done before you leave your apartment. But this took me a little longer than I thought it would."

"How… how long have you… already been here?" she stuttered, still a little stunned.

"Since… around eight." he shrugged. She would probably snap at him once she had overcome this confusion. She hated it when he tried to take care of her.

To his surprise she pulled him into a tight hug and whispered once more: "Thank you."

He sighed with relief and hugged her back.

Pulling back a little Penelope looked into his dark eyes for a moment before she leaned forward slightly.

"Baby girl" Derek stopped her in the middle of the movement. "As much as I want to happen what you're about to do… I didn't do this to… be rewarded."

"I know." she assured him in a very low voice. "I just… felt like it."

"Well, in that case…" he smiled and leaned forward as well. His heartbeat sped up at the prospect of their first kiss.

They both hesitated. Their lips were only millimeters apart and they could both feel the other one's hot breath.

"Wow." Penelope whispered, her heart was pounding like mad. "This is… a big step."

"Yeah." was all Derek could reply before her soft lips met his.

Fearing that she would change her mind she quickly crossed the small distance and captured his lips with hers. She desperately wanted to kiss him and she didn't want her doubts to keep her from just doing that.

Derek's heart skipped a beat when their lips finally met. He didn't dare deepen the kiss but when he felt her tongue demanding entrance he willingly opened his mouth.

When he didn't make a move Penelope feared for a short moment that Derek didn't want to kiss her. But then she decided to take matters into her own hands and was glad when he kissed her back. Moaning slightly she pulled him closer.

Derek ascended a step and pulled her soft body closer to his. Quickly their kiss became passionate and his heart started pounding like mad. He'd never dreamed of her allowing him to kiss her like this – and he'd never imagined it could be so good.

Her lungs started to scream for air but she didn't want to break the kiss. She'd never been kissed like that before. Derek's lips were hot and soft and she melted at the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around her holding her tight against his smoking hot body.

"Good morning." an elder blonde woman greeted as she passed the couple on her way into the building causing them to jump apart. She was gone before either of them could say a word.

"Indeed." Derek chuckled.

Leaning their foreheads against each other they both panted hard for a few moments trying to catch their breath.

"You know, I was going to get me some lunch." Penelope finally broke the silence. "Do you… want to join me?"

"Is that a date?" he asked playfully.

"Yeah." she chuckled. "Yeah, it's a date."

"In this case, I'm in." Derek grinned and led her to his car.

Penelope had never taken anyone to her favorite restaurant before. It was a little bit of privacy, some sort of secret she'd preserved for herself. But today she felt like sharing this secret.

The date was better than any date he'd ever been on. They flirted rampantly. Okay, there was nothing special about that but the touches in between were new. Penelope still was a little diffident on that score so most of the time it was him grabbing her hand over the table.

After lunch Derek convinced Penelope to take a walk by the Potomac. Seeing all the couples cuddling and kissing he desperately wanted to put his arm around her shoulders. But he wasn't sure she would allow him to do so. So instead he gently took her hand in his and was relieved when she didn't pull back.

Around five p.m. Derek drove his goddess back home. He had never felt so happy before. To describe this day with just one word was easy for him: perfect! Although he hoped that he would get another kiss before they said goodbye for the day.

However, when he drove into the parking lot Penelope surprised him by saying: "You know, I… um… don't have any specific plans for tonight so… Would you… like to watch some movies perhaps?"

"Sounds great." Derek smiled although he wasn't sure he should accept the invitation. He didn't want to go too fast. He could tell from Penelope's behavior that she was still worried and nervous. Their relationship had started to move into a completely new direction.

On the other hand, he feared that if he'd declined she would think he didn't want to let their relationship develop any further. So once he was sitting on her couch in front of the huge TV screen he tried to figure out all options he had. Maybe he should wait for her to make the next move. But maybe she'd never dare.

He could also try and make a move himself. But if he did Penelope could feel rushed. He didn't want to do something she wasn't yet up for. This could spoil their relationship before it had any chance to develop.

Sighing Derek decided that for the time being he would just wait and see.

Grinning Penelope handed him a huge bowl of popcorn and smiled: "Okay, I have 'Love, Actually', 'Sleepless in Seattle', 'Notting Hill', 'Independence Day', 'Men in Black' part one and two, 'Jaws' part one and two – because part three and four are complete nonsense – and 'The Ring' part one and two."

Laughing heartily Derek teased: "How do these movies match?"

"Not at all." she shrugged. "Pick one!"

"Okay, how about 'Men in Black' part two?" he suggested. "I love Frank and there's much more of him in the second part."

"Me too." she smiled at him. "This little puppy is just too cute."

Penelope was glad she had decided not to spend the evening alone regretting that she hadn't asked Derek to watch movies with her. It was just too much fun and they soon ended up cuddling on her couch with the bowl of popcorn resting in Penelope's lap.

A huge, radiant and teenager like smile spread across Derek's face as he noticed that Penelope was slowly sliding closer to him on the couch. When her shoulder brushed against his he decided he could dare to put his arm around her.

Somewhere during the first half of the movie Penelope's urge to cuddle with the dark-skinned version of a Greek god next to her became unbearable. So she slowly made her way closer to him until their shoulders met. Her heart leaped with joy when his arm slid around her shoulders giving her the opportunity to fully snuggle up against him. Placing both her legs on the couch she managed to lean just a little closer into the warm embrace.

After 'Men in Black' Derek let Penelope pick a movie and was not surprised but nonetheless glad that she picked one of the love movies. He wasn't too fond of all that romantic stuff, but he had to admit that 'Sleepless in Seattle' was one of the better love movies. Plus these movies were always perfect for a little more cuddling.

"Should we order something for dinner?" Penelope asked halfway through the movie.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea." Derek agreed. He still couldn't believe she had invited him to her apartment and was now cuddling with him on her couch. Yet he had expected to be gently thrown out of her apartment after the second movie. Instead she'd ask him to stay for dinner. Now all he had to do was convince her that he wanted to stay forever.

A little unwillingly Penelope rose from the warm embrace to call a nearby Chinese restaurant. She definitely could get used to cuddling with Derek Morgan – although she feared that he would soon want more. And he probably deserved to get more but she wasn't sure she was ready to give it to him.

When Penelope returned to the couch and immediately snuggled back up against him Derek felt a prickle of pure joy in his stomach. He'd never been fond of cuddling either but he could definitely get used to cuddling with Penelope.

When the dinner arrived just two or three minutes after the film had ended Derek's heart sank a little. They would eat and then Penelope would certainly want him to go. He couldn't blame her for that nor did he have any intention of doing so. He shouldn't stay. But he knew he wouldn't find much sleep that night when he was missing the feeling of her warm body against his and the scent of her hair in his nose.

Nonetheless, he had to admit that this had been one of the happiest days in his life. He felt stupid being that excited about just one kiss and a little cuddling. But it was a start – and he could already tell that it was the start of something good.

He enjoyed having dinner with her even more than their first date at lunch. When he watched her eating competently with the chopsticks he could very well imagine spending the rest of his life with her. It would most certainly never stop being fun.

"What?" Penelope asked when she noticed that Derek was pretty much staring at her. "Did I spill something?"

"No" he chuckled. "It's just I… I've never seen anyone using those chopsticks like you do – except of the few Chinese people I happen to know."

"Well, I've been practicing for quite a while now." she grinned. "I love Chinese food and I found out that it tastes much better if you eat it with the sticks."

Laughing he pointed his two chopsticks at her and replied: "Who am I to argue with a statement like that?"

"The better question is where would you be after you dared argue with me!" she stated and gave him her best death stare.

Derek burst out laughing and Penelope couldn't help but join him. She loved to see and hear him laughing – and if it was because of something she said it was even better. No one laughed like he did and no one was able to make her laugh as he was. This day had been pure heaven. Maybe she had been wrong about him. This day made her believe that it really could work.

"Baby girl, thanks for a wonderful day. It's been one of the best days I can remember." Derek softly said when he helped her clear the table.

Penelope smiled without looking at him while she stored the leftover food away in her fridge. "You know" she answered in a low voice her head almost hidden in the fridge. "I have a lot of movies left so… the day doesn't necessarily have to end yet."

"Are you sure?" he frowned. Maybe he shouldn't stay – no matter how desperately he wanted to. Falling asleep with this goddess in his arms would make an already perfect day ideal.

She just shrugged and looked down. "Do you… not want to stay?" She asked hesitantly.

Now that was just perfect! He was caught between a rock and a hard place. For two obvious reasons he couldn't say yes. First of all it would have been a lie and secondly it would certainly hurt her. He'd rather die than ever see her get hurt again – let alone hurt her himself.

"Well… It's not that I don't want to stay… because I do, really." He finally replied. "But… um… are you sure that you are… ready for that?"

"Can't we just… continue to watch movies?" She asked still avoiding looking at him.

Derek stepped in front of her and made her look into his eyes. Smiling he said: "That would be pure pleasure." Then he leaned down to place a tender kiss on her lips.

"I agree." She whispered before she pulled him down for a more passionate kiss.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 3

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** nothing's mine, it all belongs to CBS and so on

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** some angst and hurt/comfort

**AN:** _Gretchen, I said it before but I'll say it again: You rock! And I'm always grateful for your beta-reading. bowing my thanks_

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"So?" JJ asked grinning at her best friend.

"So… what?" Penelope replied innocently.

Rolling her eyes JJ pressed her: "What happened between you and Derek?"

"Nothing." she shrugged.

"Yeah, I'm sure about that." She said shaking her head. "Come on, Pen, tell me!"

"JJ, there is nothing to tell, really." Penelope assured once again. Her eyes remained fixed on one of her computer screens and she typed pretending to be busy.

JJ sighed a little disappointed. "You left the New Years party together" she reminded the other blonde. "And it was quite early if I may say so. So what happened afterwards?"

"He drove me home." Penelope told her. "End of story."

"What about yesterday?" she wanted to know.

Penelope chuckled and then answered: "Yesterday was Tuesday."

"Oh, come on!" JJ called out and pouted. "Why won't you tell me? I know that something happened. Derek is grinning from ear to ear and I could swear he whistled when he left the elevator. It's almost scary to see him so happy. And you are even worse today."

"Well, we had a pretty good day." she grinned.

That was almost too much to take! JJ rolled her eyes once again and sank back into her chair. Why didn't Penelope just tell her? She felt like she was going to explode every second out of pure curiosity! She KNEW that something had happened between them.

Penelope giggled at her best friend's reaction. Of course, she wanted to tell JJ everything about the day she had spent with Derek – but she loved to keep her waiting and begging for any information too much to just give it to her.

"We had a date." she gave JJ another piece of information knowing that it would immediately catch her attention and bring her back to the teenager-like excitement.

"AND?" JJ slowly asked leaning back forward.

She knew the young blonde agent wouldn't disappoint her. "Lunch." Penelope informed her.

JJ almost jumped out of her skin. She hated to be fed with tiny pieces of information about such an exciting thing. Okay, maybe she was behaving like a thirteen-year-old school girl. But she desperately wanted some details! "I thought you didn't want to go out with him?" she finally asked hoping that would make her talk already.

"He cleaned my stairs" she replied finally turning to JJ. "Washed all the blood away."

A huge grin spread across her face. "Really? Aw, that's so cute." JJ shrieked.

"I know." Penelope agreed and looked down a little sheepishly.

JJ's eyes narrowed as she studied the expression on the other woman's face. "What are you hiding from me?"

"Well, we… um… kissed." she replied in a low voice.

This time JJ squealed and put both her hands over her mouth to keep this sound as quiet as possible. "And? What happened AFTER the date?"

"We took a walk by the Potomac." Penelope smiled at the memory of that. She still couldn't quite believe that the last day hadn't just been a wonderful dream.

She rolled her eyes again. "AND?" JJ impatiently pressed her.

"And he drove me home… again." The smile that spread across her face made clear that there was a lot more to tell about that day.

JJ grinned: "AND???"

"And I asked him to watch some movies with me." Finally she raised her head to look at JJ again. "It was perfect, we had popcorn and movies, dinner in between, more movies and… well, cuddling on my couch."

"Aw, and? Did you ask him to stay?" JJ shifted excitedly in her chair.

Penelope frowned a little and looked down. "We haven't gone that far yet."

A hint of worry crossed JJ's face. "Pen, what's wrong?" She asked and grabbed her hand. "Did he… back off or something?"

"No, this is not about Derek." Penelope answered and took a deep breath. "I… I'm just a little… apprehensive, that's all."

Gently squeezing Penelope's hand JJ asked: "Why?"

"I don't know… I… What if… well, we have sex and afterwards we realize that it doesn't work. Or maybe he just wants one night and I… I couldn't spend a night with him and afterwards pretend nothing ever happened."

"I don't think he just wants to score with you." JJ smiled at her. "He really cares about you, he loves you. He would never hurt you like that."

"I know." Penelope sighed. "But… Well, I'm… not at all like the woman he usually… has." She replied. "And besides it's been… quite some time since I… had a boyfriend."

"I'm sure he'll understand if you're not ready for that." JJ tried to calm her down.

"Hopefully." she answered in a low voice.

"Hey, you know that Derek would never force you to do anything you don't want to do." she once again tried to allay her fears.

"Yeah, I know." Penelope nodded. "It's just I… How long do you think he would wait for me before he… well, finds someone else?"

"Pen, I'm sure he…"

"Oh, JJ." Derek said both surprised and abashed when he noticed his goddess wasn't alone in her office. He should have knocked. "I… um… I'll come back later. I didn't want to… interrupt you."

"You didn't." JJ assured him and stood up. "I needed to go back to my office anyway." She patted Penelope's shoulder and gave her a 'we'll talk later' look before she left.

"Hey, sweetness." Derek smiled at her and leaned against her desk.

"Hey, hot stuff." Penelope grinned at him. "What can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to ask if you would like to have dinner with me tonight." he said and gave her his most irresistible smile.

Giving him an apologizing look Penelope replied: "You know, I would love to but… I already have other plans for tonight."

"Oh?" was all he managed to say as he raised both his eyebrows.

Penelope blushed a little and looked down: "Yeah, I… have some kind of a fixed date on Wednesdays."

He frowned at her reaction and asked: "Do I have reason to be jealous?"

"No." she giggled. "I would never date someone else. It's more like some… duty."

"The family counselling?" Derek guessed.

"No, honey, family counselling's on the weekends." she reminded him.

Now he was really puzzled. Why didn't she simply tell him? But he decided to leave it alone and change the topic. "Then what about tomorrow?"

"That would be great." Penelope raised her head to give him her beautiful, radiant smile. "Dinner after work?"

"You're on." he nodded and leaned down to give her a peck on the cheek.

"Great." she smiled and watched him strut out of her office before she turned back to her computers. She kept humming for the rest of that day.

When Derek got back to his desk his cell phone vibrated. "Morgan?" he answered it a little confused. All his co-workers were there with him doing their paperwork. No one would need to call him.

"Hi, Derek." the familiar voice greeted. "I hope I didn't disturb you."

"Happy New Year, Mom. And no, you aren't disturbing anything." Derek assured her. "We're not on a case at the moment."

"What's wrong, honey?" she wanted to know.

"Wrong?" he asked a little puzzled. "Um… nothing. Everything's great."

"Then why did you want me to call you?" Fran asked somewhat perplexed herself. "I went to see Desiree for the New Year's party so I wasn't home for a couple of days. And when I came back, I heard your message on my answering machine. You sounded a little desperate."

"Oh, well, yes, I… I was… sort of." Derek stuttered looking around the bullpen to be sure no one was able to overhear his conversation. Then he added in a low voice. "It was… I… I needed some advice. But I guess I figured out the right thing to do on my own."

"Derek, what are you talking about?" she sighed. "I need some more details to understand what you're trying to tell me."

"Okay, um… it's about Penelope..." he started but immediately stopped when his mother giggled. "What? What's so funny?"

"Sorry, honey." He could hear the grin on his mother's face. "It's just that you never asked for my dating advice before."

"Mom!" he growled and rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry." Fran cleared her throat to avoid another giggle. "Tell me what happened."

"I asked her out and she blew me off." Derek decided he should better start from the beginning.

"Dear, you already told me that when we talked last time." Fran frowned a little. She remembered their last talk very well. Derek had called her from the hospital and told her everything about their fight and the date she didn't want to accept and how she was shot. He'd been completely wasted.

"Yeah, I know, I… I asked her out again." he specified. "And then I decided that I was probably going too fast so… I asked her to go to our New Year's party with me and she agreed. We really had a great time together."

Fran waited for a moment but when Derek didn't go on she asked: "But?"

"Well, every time I paid her a compliment she just rolled her eyes." he sighed a little. "What's wrong with compliments?"

"Nothing, Derek." Fran assured him. "Maybe Penelope just has a hard time taking a compliment. Plus she's not used to so much attention from you."

"I've paid her compliments before." Derek objected. "I… I just thought she knew how I feel and think about her. I told her that I love her."

Fran's jaw dropped before a huge smile spread across her face. She had given up hope that Derek would ever find a woman he truly loved. When asked about possible relationships he'd always told her that he didn't want something serious.

"Mom?" he asked a little impatiently. "Are you still with me?"

"Yeah sure, Derek. I was just… surprised, that's all." Fran replied. "What did she say?"

Smiling at the memory Derek said: "That she loved me too."

"But she refused to go on a date with you." Fran recalled his former information. "Maybe she thinks that you love her like a friend or a sister."

"Well" Derek grinned from ear to ear. "We went on a real date yesterday. We spent almost the whole day together, watched movies, ate popcorn, had dinner together and we cuddled on her couch. We kissed and we fell asleep on her couch."

"Sounds like you had a really good day." she smiled.

"Perfect." Derek's grin grew wider as he remembered how right it had felt to fall asleep and awake in the morning with this beautiful goddess in his arms. He could get used to the scent of her hair being the first thing he smelled in the morning.

"Then everything is alright?" she asked a little suspiciously.

"I don't know." Derek sighed. "I mean, I was in heaven yesterday but… our relationship is still developing and… I don't know. I don't want to go too fast and scare her off. But I fear if I go too slow she might think that I'm backing off. So I never know what to do when I'm with her. If I'm allowed to kiss her as often as I want to or not. I don't want her to feel rushed but on the other hand, I want to make it perfectly clear that I really want her. It's so… complicated."

"No one ever said it would be easy." Fran shrugged with a grin.

"Thanks, Mom, that was really helpful." Derek ran a hand over his head. "I really need some advice. What should I do?"

"Derek, this might be completely new to you and also a little shocking." Fran said and grinned even more. "But I think you will have to woo Penelope."

"I tried." he replied sighing again. "But I… I don't know. She's very cautious."

"For good reason, Derek." Fran reminded him. "You haven't exactly shown that you're good at keeping up relationships."

"I know, but it's completely different with her." Derek answered.

"How would she know?" she imparted what was obvious to her on him.

Derek boggled and stuttered: "I… um…" He had to admit that his mother had a point there. "So, what do I do?" he asked once again.

"Pay attention to her, let her know that you're really interested in her – and I don't only mean in having a relationship with her but in her as a person." Fran advised. "Send her flowers, women love flowers. And… try to make her understand that you want people to know how you feel about her, that you won't back off. If she's uncertain she might think that you won't stand by her."

"Thanks, Mom." Derek took a deep breath. "I… um… Can I call you when I need… some more advice?"

"Of course" she chuckled. "I'm your mother, Derek, you can call me anytime."

"When is the next time you're going to visit me?" he suddenly asked.

A little perplexed Fran replied: "Um… I don't know. Why do you ask?"

"I want you to meet Penelope." he explained.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 4

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** nothing's mine, it all belongs to CBS and so on

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** some angst and hurt/comfort

**AN:** _Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews I received. I'm sorry I didn't take the time for a personal note in the last chapters. I just wanted to say that your reviews never fail to make me smile and most of them make me come up with new or better ideas for future chapters._

_Again sorry for the delay. The chapters usually take a while before I like them enough to post them. :) I think it's significant that Gretchen is beta-reading the chapters much faster than I am writing them. Thanks a lot:D_

_To shorten the time you have to wait for me to update I want to recommend you some very nice stories. First of all _**Regarding Penelope**_ and _**I think I love you**_ by _bahjcb_. And for everyone who's interested in how Derek got his new nick name: _**Angelfish**_ by _scoob2222

_Okay, that's enough for now! I hope you enjoy the chapter!_

_Caro_

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It was not that he didn't trust her. He hadn't even intended to follow her. He didn't want to spy on her. But on his way home he had passed her conspicuous car that was parked in front of a small church and had stopped.

For several minutes Derek sat in his car wondering if he should go inside. What could she be doing in this church? She had said it was some sort of fixed date but why in a church? He hadn't even known that Penelope was religious. Although he wasn't surprised to find out something new about her. His goddess was full of surprises.

Finally he decided that it couldn't hurt to ask her what she was doing here. He would explain that he hadn't followed her but saw her car on his way home.

When Derek entered the front hall of the church, a tiny room separated from the hall by another wooden door, he hesitated. He still didn't feel exactly comfortable in a church although he went to God's house and prayed from time to time. But he usually went there after midnight when he was sure he would be alone. He didn't want anyone to see him try to pray and fail most of the time. He still didn't know how to address God because deep inside he was still angry and felt left in the lurch.

When he decided to give it a whirl Derek heard a strange rhythmical click. And then he heard a beautiful and strong voice sing the first lines of 'Down in the river to pray'. It was certainly a mass and Derek once again hesitated. It wasn't exactly tactful to step into an ongoing mass. On the other hand, reverends were usually glad about everyone attending a mass.

Carefully Derek opened the door and immediately slid into the last pew hoping to pass unnoticed. When he raised his head he saw a group of about twenty people in front of the altar – and he was stunned when he realized that the beautiful voice he'd heard belonged to no less than his baby girl.

A huge smile spread across his face and he leaned back to listen. He had never heard such a fabulous choir in a church before. Moreover, he hadn't known that Penelope could sing – let alone that she had such an amazing voice. But as he'd already noticed earlier, this woman was full of surprises, and never failed to make him fall more for her.

Sitting there hearing her sing Derek realized what he had almost lost – and what he had probably never had if Penelope hadn't been shot. When he had gotten the call telling him that she was in surgery and had been severely injured his heart had stopped. He'd driven to the hospital like a maniac, all he'd wanted was to be with her even though he knew he couldn't do anything.

On his way to the hospital he had realized what an idiot he had been. All these years he had searched for something that was right in front of him. That evening in the church he had asked God for help once more, for help to forget what happened to him, to get over it and leave it in his past. But Derek had never realized that God had already answered his prayers. He had sent him a beautiful, ingenious and witty woman with a heart of gold who never failed to make him smile or laugh and who cared about him much more than he'd ever deserved.

She had to be shot for him to realize how much she meant to him. If he hadn't been so narrow-minded she would never have had to suffer so much pain.

Nonetheless he was grateful that he had gotten a second chance. This time he would use it.

Derek sat in the dark of the last pew throughout the whole choir practice. Well, almost… After a little less than an hour his phone vibrated and he jumped a little. _Damn!_

What was even worse was that one of the elder women noticed his movement. "Seems we have a guest today." She stated pointing in his direction.

He wished the ground beneath him would just open and swallow him when everyone's eyes narrowed in an attempt to see him.

"Why don't you come closer?" the chorister asked. "We always like having guests during our practice."

Okay, he was caught. So Derek figured he might as well reveal his identity – and let Penelope get mad at him. Slowly he stepped into the aisle and walked closer. He waved insecurely at Penelope when he saw her eyes widen.

"E… Excuse me." she said, placed her folder on the first pew and hurried towards him.

Derek's heart stopped for a moment before it started pounding like mad. What would she do now? Would she shout at him? Pull him outside to do so? She hadn't wanted him to know where she was going and he had followed her – even though he hadn't done it on purpose… at least not entirely.

"What are you doing here?" she wanted to know.

"Well, um… I… I saw your car outside and… um…" Derek tried to explain. They kept their conversation quiet so that the obviously very curious rest of the choir wasn't able to understand any of it.

Yeah, she could have guessed that. The church was on his way home which had been the main reason for her to park her car round the corner every time. But today she hadn't been able to find a parking space there and she'd already been late.

"You… you have a beautiful voice." he said when she didn't answer.

Penelope looked up at him and blushed a little. "Well, thanks." she murmured.

"Why… didn't you tell me what your plans for today were? I didn't know you were singing in a choir." Not to mention that he'd had no idea she could sing like that.

"No one knows." Penelope replied. "I… I don't know, I just… didn't want anyone to know."

"Why not?" he asked a little puzzled. "I'm sure we'd all come to one of your… performances if you have something like that."

"We do." she nodded. "We… well, basically this is a beneficial choir for this church. We collect quite a lot of money at our performances. And that's exactly why I didn't tell anyone. I didn't want any of you to see a performance."

"Why not?" Derek asked again.

"Well, because…" Penelope took a deep breath and looked down. "Because I have to sing a solo almost every time."

"Where's the problem?" he shrugged. "You'd leave them speechless – which would be a good thing especially with Reid."

"I just… didn't want any of you to hear me sing." she explained in a low voice.

"But you're amazingly good at it!" he argued.

This caused her to blush even more. "You think?" she whispered.

Derek cupped her chin with his hand to make her look at him and smiled: "I know it, I heard you. You sing like an angel."

"Don't you want to present your cute friend to us?" a woman around Penelope's age asked.

"Well, um…" she stuttered a little insecurely, not sure about what to call him. Co-worker? Friend? Soon to be lover? "This is Special Agent Derek Morgan, my…"

Fortunately she was cut off by one of the other women pretty much shrieking: "You are THE Derek Morgan?"

"Seems like." he shrugged and grinned at Penelope. "Unless you know more people with that particular name."

She shook her head ashamedly.

"Why don't you join us, Mr. Morgan?" the chorister then asked.

"I… um…" Derek looked perplexed between Penelope and the chorister back and forth. "I don't think that's a good idea. I… um… am not sure if I can sing."

"Why don't you try?" the man smiled at him.

"Well, okay." he shrugged. The smile he saw on Penelope's face was definitely worth it even if he should make a complete fool of himself.

Fortunately, it turned out that he was doing quite well.

"So, are you going to come to the next practice, Agent Morgan?" a young woman asked obviously trying to flirt with him.

"Well, it depends." Derek smiled and looked past her to a much more pleasing sight.

"On what?" the woman asked trying to get Derek's attention back.

His eyes kept fixed on the other woman as he replied: "On whether Penelope wants me to accompany her or not."

Penelope's head shot up and she stared at him for a moment. Then she smiled and said: "I would be delighted."

"Did you sing in a choir before?" the woman wanted to know and tried to block his view so that he had to look at her.

"No, ma'am." he sighed. Why couldn't she leave him alone?!

She grinned and put out her hand: "Isabelle Rawley, most people call me Belle."

"Nice to meet you, Ms Rawley." Derek gave her a frosty smile and shook her hand.

A little disgruntled the woman tried to pull out all the stops, leaned forward to show off as much cleavage as possible and giving him the most charming look she said: "I thought I told you to call me Belle! I just wondered if you have any plans for today. If you don't we could have a drink or two."

Rolling his eyes Derek simply sighed. He couldn't believe he'd ever been attracted by women as tacky as her. Okay, it was flattering to get so much attention from beautiful women – but until Penelope Derek hadn't realized that it was much more flattering to get such attention from a woman who was beautiful and brilliant.

"I'm sorry, Ms Rawley" he finally replied. "But no, thank you."

From the expression on her face Derek could tell that she was obviously not used to being blown off. "You… decline?" she asked perplexed.

"Yes." he simply said. What was so hard to understand about a word as simple as 'no'?

Suddenly she got angry and put her fists on her hips: "What's wrong with you, huh? Am I not good enough for you?"

"To be honest, I already found something better." he said a little angry himself.

Belle's eyes widened: "You're taken?"

He simply nodded. Boy, this girl was really slow on the uptake!

"Wait a minute!" now it seemed that her eyes wanted to pop out of her head. "You… you are Penelope's… boyfriend?"

Frowning Derek crossed his arms in front of his chest and eyed the tramp-like woman in front of him. "Is there a problem?"

"N… No." she stuttered. "I'm just… surprised… that's all. I mean, a man like you and a woman like… her…"

"What?" he cut her off. Five minutes and he was already pissed at her, new record.

"Well, I mean, look at her." Belle waved at her derogatively.

"You don't know Penelope very well, do you?" he hissed. Before this annoying girl could answer he added: "Because if you knew her you would know what a beautiful, big-hearted and witty woman she is. Or maybe your problem with Penelope is that she has an IQ you can only dream of?"

"How dare you…" she shrieked.

"I'm not so superficial to be interested in someone who has nothing to offer except looking like a living doll." Derek interrupted her once more.

Giving him a death glare Belle jangled: "You arrogant, snobbish…"

"Yeah, you're the right person to call me that." he laughed sarcastically.

"Well, if you think you're going to be happy with her…" she snapped.

"I think I defined my position." Derek gave her his most charming smile. "Why don't you go and try to hook up with someone else."

Foaming she turned around and stalked away.

"Was there a problem?" Penelope asked as she stepped to his right. She hadn't really heard what Belle and Derek had been talking about but it had been obvious that the conversation hadn't exactly been bland.

"No, baby girl." Derek assured her as he turned around and wrapped his arms around her waist swaying her gently. "I just had the doubtful pleasure to make the acquaintance of Ms Isabelle Rawley."

Giggling Penelope replied: "Yeah, she can be… challenging."

"Now, that is an understatement." he grinned and leaned down in an attempt to kiss her.

"Wait" she stopped him in the middle of his movement. "We shouldn't do that… not here, I mean." she glanced at the grinning faces of her co-singers.

"Why not?" Derek asked nonchalantly.

Penelope leaned a little closer and pointing her head slightly to her left she whispered: "They are watching us."

"So?" Derek shrugged and leaned further down. "I don't give a damn. Let them watch!" he whispered only a second before he captured her lips with his.

Her heart leaped with joy at the realization that Derek didn't want them to hide their feelings or the fact that they were an item.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 5

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** nothing's mine, it all belongs to CBS and so on

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** some angst and hurt/comfort

**AN:** _Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews I got. And I apologize that updating this story takes me longer than usual. It's just that first of all I'm trying to write five stories at the same time, which isn't so bad but from time to time I have to try and catch up with the other stories. And I'm ill again and my muse doesn't like getting infected, it seems, at least she pretty much left me. :)_

_Nonetheless, there's a wonderful Morgan/Garcia story I want to recommend to you: _**Sweet memories**_ by _paragrad

_I hope you enjoy this chapter – and as you know I won't complain about reviews. ;)_

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"You know that I'm not going to dance with you." Penelope sighed when they entered the bar Derek had taken her to.

"You don't have to." he shrugged. "I just like the food they serve here."

Raising both her eyebrows at him she asked: "You've been here before?"

"Several times." he nodded.

She folded her arms in front of her chest and frowned in mocked annoyance. "So you take all of your conquests here, huh?" she teased.

Derek just chuckled. "No, baby girl, you're the first woman I ever brought here. Usually I arrive alone and I go home alone. I just enjoy dancing from time to time." He led her to one of the tables in a cozy corner and pulled the chair out for her.

"And besides you are not a conquest." Derek whispered into her ear as she sat down and he pushed the chair slightly towards the table.

She smiled a little sheepishly. If only she could let go of her worries and believe his words. "When I entered my office today I nearly tripped over a huge bouquet of flowers." she said in a teasing tone. "Do you know anything about that?"

He chuckled: "Am I supposed to know anything?"

"Thank you." she smiled. "They're beautiful."

"Not half as beautiful as you are." he replied, grabbed her hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of it.

"You're soft-soaping me again." she grinned.

Grinning back at her Derek shook his head: "I'm just telling the truth, mama." At least she wasn't rolling her eyes any longer every time he paid her a compliment.

The waitress kept her from shooting something back at him. For a moment Penelope watched the dancing couples on the dance floor. It was obvious that all of them knew what they were doing. Why the hell had he brought her here of all places?

This was their third date now, if one didn't consider going to the Bureau's New Years party nor the choir practices nor the watching movies and cuddling on her couch between cases real dates. The last two cases had been bad and Derek had been exhausted. So they'd agreed on not going out but staying at home and enjoy the quietness of just the two of them.

So it maybe wasn't just their third date. But it was the third time they officially dated and Penelope was rather nervous. Derek had told her that he had a special surprise for her today – and she had no idea what it could be. Maybe he expected something… more from her than just kissing tonight. She wasn't sure she was willing to…

"Baby girl?" Derek's voice distracted her from her thoughts.

"Hm?" she raised both her eyebrows giving him a querying look.

"A penny for your thoughts." he gave her his most irresistible smile.

_So not fair!_ She sighed. He knew she couldn't say no to that look. "I… was just… thinking about the last case." she lied.

"Why do I have the impression that you're lying to me?" he frowned.

Smiling Penelope replied: "Gorgeous, grant a woman a few secrets from time to time. You have a lot of them too."

Derek raised both his eyebrows and gave her a querying look.

"You haven't told me yet what the surprise is you've been talking about." she stated.

From the expression on her face he could tell that she was serious. Sighing he answered: "That's for later, beautiful. And it's not a secret. It's just, if I told you now it wouldn't be a surprise anymore."

She simply nodded.

Derek took a deep breath. Of course, he could give her the surprise now. But he was a little apprehensive about how she might react. He didn't want to spoil the date because she got mad at him – at least not before dinner. Maybe he shouldn't give her his…

He was interrupted in further worrying about it by the waitress who delivered their meals.

They ate almost in complete silence and shortly after the waitress cleared their table, Penelope heard the beginning of the song "Sway with me", one of her favorites.

When he heard the first chords of the song he'd been waiting for, Derek stood up and stretched his hand out for Penelope. "What do you think, baby girl? Shall we show these couples how to dance properly?"

"Derek, I told you I…"

"Just this one dance, goddess." he begged. "And I swear I'll never bother you again. It's just that… every time I've been here I wished that one day I would have the pleasure of swaying you across this dance floor."

"Yeah, I'm sure about this." she murmured.

"Please, Penelope." he said giving her his best puppy dog look. "I know you can do this."

She sighed. How could she object if he looked at her like this? "Okay." she finally whispered.

He just smiled triumphantly.

She swallowed hard and her heart started pounding like mad. She definitely shouldn't do this. But Penelope grabbed his hand anyway and tried not to show how it startled her when he pulled her up and close against his strong body.

Derek had never danced with her before. Nonetheless, they harmonized perfectly. Everything was just right; every step, every turn and every bend. The dance was close and probably the most erotic dance Penelope had ever danced in her whole life.

Derek's hands left a pleasurable warmth on every part of her body they touched. Most of the time one of his hands was on her back while the other held her hand to lead her. After a few dancing steps she willingly sank into his arms as he dipped her almost down to the floor.

In a quick move Derek brought Penelope back to her feet, let her do a turn and pulled her close against him afterwards.

Her back leaned against his muscular chest as close as humanly possible while Penelope's right arm slid around his neck. Sighing she leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes.

Derek buried his head in her smooth, fragrant hair. His right hand slowly stroke down her arm while his left rested on her hip, just a fraction deeper than necessary, while they were slowly swaying to the last chords of the song.

He had to concentrate really hard to keep his hands from giving in to the desire of exploring more of her body. This was so much more than just a dance.

The touch of his hands was like an electric shock. The place where his hand rested on her body, a little lower than it should have been, was almost burning making her skin prickle all over her body.

A quiet sigh of complaint escaped Penelope's mouth when the song ended.

The couples around them clapped their hands. Neither Penelope nor Derek had noticed that everyone else had stopped dancing to watch them.

They jumped apart, smiled sheepishly and went back to their table.

"Wow, Derek" the waitress smiled at him. "I've never seen you dance like that before. That was formidable!"

"I just hadn't found the right partner yet." he shrugged.

Penelope just smirked insecurely. She hoped that she hadn't blushed too much or that at least her make-up could cover it efficiently. That had been one of the hottest experiences in a very long time.

"Did you regret your decision?" Derek grinned.

"Actually…" she sighed and then grinned. "No, I didn't."

"I'm relieved to hear that." he chuckled.

Agreeing that it was late and they both had to get up early the next day, they called it a night and Derek drove his goddess home. He was a little nervous because he hadn't given her the promised surprise yet. He should have done it earlier that evening when it had been the perfect time.

Well, there had been many perfect times but he was a little apprehensive that she might think he was going too fast. He didn't want her to feel pressured in any way. But he also thought that their relationship was developing very well and it was time to make her understand that he was really serious.

Derek parked his car outside and insisted on escorting Penelope upstairs to her apartment to make sure she would be fine. He had to ask her and he didn't want to do it in the car.

Penelope's hands shook while she unlocked her door and let him in. There was a reason he had insisted on accompanying her.

"Thanks for another wonderful evening." she said and gave him a radiant smile.

Smiling back Derek stepped forwards, wrapped his arms around her and leaned down to give her a lingering kiss, well aware that if there was another case the next day it would be the last opportunity to capture her soft lips with his for quite a while.

She knew what he wanted and she knew he deserved to get it. So Penelope let her hands slid under his shirt.

He felt her hands on his revealed skin and at the same time the tension building in her body. Derek broke the kiss and pulled back to look at her. "Baby, what are you doing?"

Giving him a puzzled look she whispered: "I… I thought that was… what you wanted."

He frowned at her and softly replied: "Not if you aren't ready for this."

"I am." she assured her voice telling him that she didn't believe her own words. "I mean… it's not that I… don't want that…"

"We don't have to do this." he replied softly.

"I know." she sighed. "But this is our third date and… well... you know what they say about the third date."

"Sweetness, we still have so much time." he carefully put a strand of her golden hair behind her ear. "There's no need to hurry. We will make love when we both feel the time is right."

"I'm sorry." she whispered and looked down. "I know that you deserve more than…"

"Wait!" Derek softly interrupted her. "Baby girl, I don't even deserve that much. You are the most wonderful woman I ever met and I have no idea what I did in my life to deserve you being a part of it. The reason why I want to be with you is that I love you and not that I just want sex. You know that, right?"

"I… I'm just… scared." Penelope explained.

"Why?" Derek whispered and caressed her cheek.

She shrugged and lied: "I don't know."

He cupped her cheek with his hand and made her look at him. "Who hurt you so much, Penelope?" he carefully asked.

"You mean except Baylor?" she laughed dryly.

"Battle." Derek corrected automatically but immediately bit his lip.

"I know." she sighed. "It's just… I can't keep his real name in mind. Maybe it's because when I thought his name was Baylor he seemed to be a very nice guy."

"So this is just about him?" he wanted to know although he was sure he could answer that question himself.

Penelope shook her head. "I've been insecure before… that. It's just… that he only asked me out to shoot me kinda… proved me right."

"About what?" Derek pressed her.

Looking down again she mumbled: "That the nice handsome guys are never seriously interested in me."

"So I'm not nice?" he asked.

"Of course, you are." Penelope whispered.

"Then I'm not handsome?" Derek smiled.

"Very funny." she replied.

This time he cupped her face in both his hands and studied her eyes. "But you don't believe that I'm seriously interested in you." he concluded. "If you really thought I was a nice guy you wouldn't doubt that, would you?"

"I… I want to believe you." she assured him and a tear ran down her cheek.

He frowned again and gently brushed the tear away. "Then why did you think that I would try to pressure you?"

She tried to avoid his eyes and explained: "I… um… When you said you… had a surprise for me and then… you insisted on bringing me to my door… I… I just thought…"

Right, the surprise. He'd completely forgotten about it. "Baby girl, the surprise was something completely different." he quickly cut her off. Letting go of her Derek fished something out of his pocket and let it slide into her right hand.

Penelope looked at it and swallowed. Her head snapped up and she stared at him, the question running through her mind clearly written in her face.

"I want you to keep my keys because I love you." he smiled. "And because I love the idea of you having the keys to my apartment."

"I… I…" she looked back down more tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." he softly said. "Let's just forget about that, okay? I'm looking forward to taking you out for dinner as soon as possible."

"Me too." she smiled.

"How about Saturday?" he suggested. Of course, he wanted to go out with her on Thursday and Friday as well. But he decided that she maybe needed some time. And he would cherish the fact that he could see her at work and at the choir practice the next day.

"That would be great." she replied.

Derek leaned down to give her a soft kiss and whispered: "It's going to be a special date."

She looked at him again and asked: "What's special about it?"

"I'm sorry." he smiled. "I fear I can't tell you more yet. But it's not that I want to ravish you, okay?"

"Okay." she laughed sheepishly. "I got your point."

"Good." Derek smiled and kissed her lips once more before he headed for the door. "See you tomorrow."


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 6

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** some angst and hurt/comfort

**AN: **_Thanks for all the reviews I received, they helped a lot with getting better. Anyway, the fever forced me to stay in bed for a couple of days and I wasn't really able to continue writing. Yet I'm on the road to recovery I guess so I hope I'll finish the next chapter sooner. :)_

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"I guess you're still not telling me why this is a special date." Penelope said as they entered the restaurant. She was excited and maybe also a little scared. At least her heart rate doubled when she stepped over the threshold.

"I want you to meet someone." he smiled at her. "Someone who's really important to me."

She turned to face him and raised both her eyebrows.

"My mom and my sisters." Derek explained.

Penelope froze and stared at him. After a few seconds she shook her head vigorously and said: "Derek, why didn't you… at least warn me? I… would have dressed differently or…"

"Baby girl, you're beautiful as usual." he smiled.

"But… it would have been helpful if I… had had some time to… well… prepare for that."

Derek couldn't help but chuckle. "Sweet cheeks, you're going to meet my family not the Grim Reaper. There is nothing you need to be prepared for."

"What if… they don't like me?" she said in a low voice.

"No chance of that, baby cakes." he smiled and led her towards a table where three women where sitting and chatting. Penelope could only see the faces of the two younger women, beautiful just as Derek. The third woman had her back turned at them.

Penelope stopped and whispered: "Derek, did you… tell them anything about me?"

He turned around to frown at her. "Anything in particular I should have told them?"

She blushed a little. "Well… your last girlfriends were… so not like me and…"

"Relax, Pen." he put both his hands on her shoulders and kneaded them gently. "They never met any of my past girlfriends."

Her head shot up and she stared at him almost in shock.

Derek just grinned and wanted to move forward.

Penelope held him back once more. "But… what about…"

He just laughed and put an arm around her shoulder. "Come on, I know that they will like you because there is no possible way they won't. Just let me present you to my family." Derek forced her towards the table and greeted: "Hey, girls!"

"Derek." the eldest woman stood up, grinned widely and hugged her son. "It's so good to see you again, we don't see often enough."

"Yeah, I know." Derek chuckled and hugged his sisters.

"And you must be Penelope." the woman smiled and stretched out her hand. "Fran Morgan, I'm glad to meet you."

"Um… thanks… I'm glad to… meet you too." she stuttered.

"Baby girl, these are my sisters Sarah and Desiree." Derek introduced the two women. He'd put an arm around each one's shoulders. "Don't you listen to them, no matter what they say."

Sarah poked her brother in the rips, rolled her eyes and said sarcastically: "Thanks, baby brother, we love you too!"

"Don't worry, I never listen to him." Penelope smiled and immediately bit her lip. She should think before she speaks!

Sarah grinned and put an arm around her shoulder: "Now, finally a girl who can domesticate my baby brother."

Penelope sat down between Desiree and Derek and shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

Derek took her hand in his and squeezed it gently to calm her down.

Penelope skimmed through the menu and wondered if she'd maybe rather not eat anything when Fran said to the waitress: "I think I'm going to have the chicken."

"Fish." Sarah smiled at her.

"I'll have a steak." Derek said and everyone looked at Penelope for her decision.

"I… um… I think I'll just have coffee." she said and desperately tried not to blush.

Fran raised her eyebrows. "Is there nothing you like on the menu? I'm sure they have a number of vegetarian meals."

"We do." the waitress nodded.

Okay, that was probably a moment to blush, at least Spencer would have blushed so Penelope considered it wasn't that bad. "How do you know that I'm a vegetarian?" she asked.

"Derek told us." Fran shrugged.

Penelope's head snapped to her left and she stared at him. "I never told you."

"Whenever we eat together you pick something without meat and your favorite meal is pasta." he shrugged. "It wasn't too hard to guess. I'm a profiler, remember?"

Penelope felt flattered that Derek had noticed that and, moreover, that he'd kept it in mind.

When he saw the radiant smile on her face the one on his own face grew wider. It seemed that he was pretty good at paying attention to his baby girl.

"Finally I'm no longer the only vegetarian in this family." Desiree gave her a radiant smile and handed her menu back to the waitress. "I'll take the Couscous."

"Yeah, that sounds good." Penelope smiled and handed back her menu as well.

"So, Sarah." Derek grinned at his sister when the waitress was gone. "How's your new job?"

She rolled her eyes and growled: "Don't remind me of that! They forced me to use a new laptop for the research for my article. And it crashed, the whole hard disk formatted itself and all data is gone!"

"If it hasn't been clobbered, you can still retrieve the data." Penelope shrugged.

Sarah raised both her eyebrows and stared at her almost in disbelief: "You mean the data is not just lost somewhere in the depth of my computer?"

"Um… no." she smiled sheepishly. "If you want me to take a look at it, I could maybe try and restore your data."

"You would do this?" Sarah's face immediately lit up at the prospect of not having to do the research all over again.

"Sure." Penelope nodded.

"I swear, I'd be forever grateful." Sarah grinned excitedly.

"The next twenty-five years would be enough." Penelope put her off.

Sarah gave her a puzzled look before the whole Morgan family burst into laughter.

Penelope just grinned.

It didn't take Derek's family very long to make Penelope feel comfortable among them. After only one hour she was glad that Derek had introduced them to her.

However, after two hours Derek's cell phone rang and from the expression on his face Penelope knew that there was another case.

"Yeah, I'll be right there." Derek frowned and hung up.

"A new case?" Fran asked.

Derek nodded and gave the four women at the table an apologizing look. "We're leaving in an hour." He stood up and grabbed his jacket. "I'm sorry, we'll have dinner again as soon as we're back."

"Will you drop me off at the Bureau?" Penelope asked and stood up as well.

"We won't arrive before midnight." Derek smiled and kissed her temple. "Stay here and we'll contact you tomorrow."

"I'll be there." she promised.

Derek gave her a peck on her lips before he hugged his mother and sisters and then hurried for his car.

Penelope sighed and sat back on the chair glancing a little nervously at Fran Morgan and her two daughters. Sure, they got along well. But would that be the same if they were alone?

Fran eyed Penelope and then glanced at Sarah.

She nodded slightly and stood up. "I think I need to go to the ladies' room." she smiled and nudged her sister as she passed by her.

Desiree stood up and called after her: "Wait, I'll come with you."

Being alone with Derek's family had made Penelope nervous – but being alone now with his mother was even worse. Maybe she should just follow Sarah and Desiree to the…

"Derek really loves you. You know that, right?" Fran asked.

Penelope's head shot up and she gave the elder woman a puzzled look.

Fran just smiled at her and leaned a little closer so that none of the other guests could overhear their conversation. "You're giving him a hard time, do you know that?"

Penelope blushed and looked down again. "Yeah." she mumbled. "I know that and I know that he deserves… more. It's just that I'm not sure that I'm… ready for this."

"Wait, I think you misunderstood me." Fran replied. "I wasn't talking about sex. Derek doesn't want to lay you, he wants to win your heart."

When she didn't get any answer, Fran frowned and asked: "You doubt that?"

"No… it's just… I don't know." she whispered. This conversation was going to be really embarrassing. Why couldn't she just drop dead?

"If you don't let him win your heart, he can't break it." Fran concluded.

Penelope shrugged in return.

Fran watched her for a moment before she asked: "Why do you think Derek can't love you?"

"It's not that… I just… I'm not like the women he usually meets." Penelope mumbled.

"What do you mean?" she wanted to know.

"Well, they all look like supermodels." she shrugged.

Giving her a warm smile Fran pointed her head towards a largely oversized man in his mid-forties and asked: "Would you flirt with someone like him?"

Blushing Penelope replied: "No, probably not."

Fran grinned and pointed at the red-haired waitress who cleaned a table in the corner: "But almost all men flirted with her. Why?"

"She's beautiful." Penelope answered. "I mean, it's flattering if she flirts back."

"Does that mean that every man in this room wants to spend the rest of his life with her?"

"I don't know." she whispered.

"But I do." Fran said and grabbed Penelope's hand. "Men need approval that they are attractive, especially from women who meet society's ideal of beauty. But when it comes to relationships, they look for something else, something special."

"But yet men like Derek don't fall in love with women like me." Penelope replied. "I mean, for over three years I've tried to tell myself that we'll never be more than friends, that he doesn't feel this way about me."

"And now you can't believe that he does." Fran softly added.

She shrugged again.

"Do you think you're not worth it?"

"I don't know." Penelope whispered and wiped away the single tear that wanted to run down her cheek. "The last handsome guy who asked me out just wanted to shoot me. I mean, if someone looking so incredibly good wants to date someone… like me… something must be wrong with him, right? Derek knew it."

"He didn't want you to go out with that guy because he was jealous." Fran grinned. "It just took him a while to realize that. Derek didn't think that something was wrong with the other guy because he thought a handsome man can't be interested in you."

Penelope didn't answer.

"You know, when I asked Derek to describe you a little, the first word he used was beautiful." Fran told her. "I know my son pretty well and I can assure you that you have him wrapped around your little finger."

Penelope remained silent and just smiled sheepishly.

"You don't believe me?" Fran frowned.

"Yes, I do." Penelope whispered. "I know that Derek loves me and… but it's still… kinda hard to believe."

"Derek said everything was perfect." Fran eyed her a little suspiciously. "You don't think so."

"It IS perfect." she smiled and then sighed. "It's just that sometimes I think it is… a little too perfect. You know, like a dream."

Fran gave her another warm smile and gently squeezed her hand: "Maybe you should just let go and give it a try. Dreams sometimes come true."

"Not for me." Penelope whispered.

Fran stood up, sat back down next to Penelope and put an arm around her shoulder. "For everyone." she assured. "You just need to let it happen."

Again she didn't answer.

Fran sighed. This was harder than she'd expected it to be. Finally she said: "You know, after I met Derek's father it took him almost six years to finally make a move. He was good-looking and very smart – just like you. And yet he thought I could never be interested in him because he was black."

Penelope just nodded.

"We raised our children to look deeper than just to what meets the eye." Fran added. "And I'm rather sure Derek likes what he sees in you. Otherwise, he wouldn't have fallen for you as much as he did."


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 7

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** some angst and hurt/comfort

**AN:** _Again I'm very, very sorry for the delay. But I had to write a few other stories for some very nice prompts I had almost forgotten about – or just decided to write a day before they had to be posted. I'll post them too so you see I'm not lying. ;)_

_Anyways, chapter 8 will be up sooner. Honestly, I promise! Next time it won't take so long._

_There are quite a few new Morgan/Garcia stories _scoob2222_ has posted and they are all really awesome! _**Figuring things out****Braids****Not ready****Don't know much****Ala Morgan**_ and _**Found**_. I hope I didn't forget a story._

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"Come in!" Sarah smiled, grabbed Penelope's arm and led her into her hotel room. "Do you want anything? Coffee?"

"Yeah, coffee would be great." Penelope smiled a little sheepishly.

It didn't take very long and Sarah came back from the little kitchen with two cups of coffee in her hand. She handed one to Penelope and said: "Des should be back in a few minutes. She and mom went shopping."

"I didn't want to stop you from going shopping with your family." Penelope assured. "I mean, I could have come here later."

"Relax, they want to buy me a birthday present, so I'm rather sure they wouldn't have taken me with them anyway." Sarah grinned. "Plus I really appreciate that you found the time to fix my computer during your case. I'd be lost without you."

"That's no problem." Penelope smiled and blushed a little. "The team is stuck with the case anyway so there's not much I can do for them at the moment. I'm glad that I can help you."

"Stop blushing in my presence!" Sarah grinned and put an arm around Penelope. "I'm really glad my brother found you – not only because you can fix my computer."

"I know." she smiled. "It's just that… well, I've never been welcomed so heartily by anyone. This is… quite new to me."

"You're making that very easy." Sarah smiled. "I'm sure we'll soon annoy you just as if we actually were your sisters."

"Well, good luck." Penelope grinned back at her. "I grew up with four brothers. It's hard to annoy me."

"Yeah, Derek already told me something like that." Sarah giggled. "Besides many, many other things."

Penelope gave her a quizzical look: "What's so funny?"

"Nothing." she giggled once more. "It's just that… well, I've never seen my baby brother like that before. For at least a year now all he talked about was you. Whenever we asked him about work or if he was dating anyone, he somehow managed to bring the conversation round to you. He was excited as hell that you agreed to go to the New Year's party with him."

"Yeah, it took him a while to convince me." Penelope admitted in a low voice.

"I heard about that." Sarah replied. "And that just tells me that he's really fallen for you. Normally, he wouldn't make such an effort to woo a woman."

"I bet he doesn't need to." she murmured.

Sarah frowned at her and asked: "Do you really think he has never been sent packing before?"

Penelope shook her head: "Men like him don't get dumped."

"You have no idea." Sarah giggled.

"So, that's my new patient?" Penelope changed the topic and pointed at the laptop on the bedside table.

"Yup" Sarah nodded, "it can be pretty annoying."

"Maybe it just needs a dose of TLC." Penelope grinned as she sat down in front of the computer and hit a few keys. "Voilà." she called out after only a few seconds.

Sarah's eyes almost popped out of her head. "Are you serious? That was it?"

"Yeah." Penelope shrugged. "All data restored. It wasn't that bad."

Sarah hugged her exuberantly and grinned: "I swear, if Derek ever thinks of dumping you I'll personally kill him!"

Penelope just looked down.

Realizing what she had said Sarah immediately put a hand around the other woman's shoulder and assured: "No, I didn't mean that I think he's going to dump you. See, I'd never kill him 'cause he's my brother. And I just said that because I'm sure that he'll never let you down."

"I know." Penelope nodded.

Sarah frowned at her but couldn't say anything in addition because the door opened and Fran and Desiree stepped in. "Hey, you two!" Des grinned at them. "I hope we didn't disturb anything?"

"Nope, I'm done." Penelope replied.

"She is amazing!" Sarah grinned.

"Are you going to join us for lunch?" Fran smiled at the young blonde.

"I'd really love to." Penelope smiled back at her. "But I have some shopping to do for the weekend. It's going to be a surprise."

"Oh." Fran and her two daughters all turned to Penelope to give her their full attention.

Penelope blushed a little. Obviously it wasn't necessary to mention for whom she planned the surprise. "Yeah, I… um…" she stuttered before she decided that it maybe was a good idea to let them in on her plans.

She told them everything, how the idea had occurred to her when Derek had told her a little about his childhood and how she'd planned it differently at first but had changed her mind after their relationship developed.

After she'd finished Fran gave her a warm smile and said: "Derek is going to love this. Which weekend have you planned this?"

"The weekend after we finish our dinner." Penelope smiled.

"You shouldn't wait that long." Fran told her. "Because if this case isn't going to end soon I have to get back home. My birthday is in less than four weeks and I have to prepare a few things. It's the only time of the year the whole family gathers."

"Yeah, Derek told me about that." Penelope nodded. "I just didn't know that it's, well, already next month."

"I just hope your team solves this case soon enough so you two can come help me celebrate my birthday." Fran sighed.

Penelope was stunned for a moment before she managed to stumble: "I… um… you mean, Derek and me?"

"Of course" Fran grinned at her. "You're a part of this family now, whether you like it or not."

"You know, you could join us for lunch and then we'd help you with the shopping." Des suggested and put an arm around Penelope's shoulder.

"That would be great." she agreed.

Having lunch with Derek's mother and his sisters turned out to be much easier than their first dinner. Penelope was overwhelmed by how heartily Derek's family welcomed her. And in fact, it was a lot of fun to go shopping with Sarah and Des.

Fran had decided to stay in the hotel and take a nap. She wasn't really tired but she'd wanted to leave her now three daughters alone. It surprised Fran how easy it was for her to consider Penelope a part of their family although she had only known her for three days. Normally, she gave her children-in-law quite a hard time just to find out if they were worthy of her children.

But Penelope was completely different. Derek had been completely right about her. Apart from her insecurities she was one of the most caring, most compassionate and most good-hearted people Fran had ever met.

She smiled to herself when Desiree and Sarah returned excitedly telling her everything they had bought and how they were sure Derek was going to love this surprise. It would probably do him good if he'd been able to see how well Penelope and his sisters got along.

The ringing of her cell phone – a birthday present from Derek a few years ago – startled her from her thoughts. Smiling she picked up: "Hey, Derek!"

"Hi, mom." he sighed. "How did you know it was me?"

"Good guessing." she shrugged. "What's wrong?"

"Um… nothing." Derek replied. "How's Clooney?"

"Fine." she said with a frown. "We're taking good care of him."

"Yeah, I know." Derek quickly assured. "Otherwise I wouldn't have asked you to look after him. When are you heading back home? This case is going to take us longer than we'd expected."

"Derek, what's really wrong?" Fran asked a little impatiently. "You didn't call to ask me how Clooney was and you aren't allowed to talk about the case, right?"

"I… um… well." he sighed again. "To be honest I just wanted to know how the evening went. I would have called earlier but the case kept us busy and I wasn't allowed to make any private calls. But now Hotch and Rossi are questioning their first suspects and Reid and Emily are busy with the victimology and the demographics. There's not really anything I could do so I just thought I could call and ask…"

"Relax, Derek!" Fran laughed. "The evening went very well. Penelope is very polite and good-hearted. She restored Sarah's files before lunch and this afternoon the three girls went shopping together."

"So they hit it off with each other?" Derek smiled at that. He could hear his sisters giggle in the background.

"Looks like." Fran chuckled. "I'm glad you found her."

"Me too." Derek answered in a low voice. "I never thought I could feel this way about a woman. I'm not really sure how this happened but at some point she won my heart. I never met someone like her before."

"Did you tell her?" Fran wanted to know.

Derek frowned a little puzzled. "What do you mean? I told her that I love her."

"Maybe you should also tell her WHY you love her." Fran replied. "She isn't insecure because she thinks you don't love her but because she can't imagine why you feel this way."

"Thanks, mom." he nodded to himself. That would be the first thing he'd talk to Penelope about when they came back. "The case is going to keep us busy for a while longer." Derek sighed. "So I understand if you want to fly back home."

"I have to." Fran affirmed. "I have a lot to arrange for the birthday party. I just hope you'll make it back until then. I want to see you and Penelope at my party."

Derek's smile widened. "I promise I'll personally track this guy down so we're definitely going to make it."

"That sounds like a good plan." Fran grinned. "Go, get them, Derek! Bye."

"Mom?" he kept her from hanging up. "Why exactly did Penelope and my sisters go shopping together?"

She giggled and said: "You should ask Penelope yourself."

Raising both his eyebrows Derek replied: "You seem to know more than I do."

"Obviously." Fran's grin grew a little wider. "But I can't tell you more."

Now, this was really becoming strange. "Mom?"

"Sorry, Derek, I have to hang up. Bye!" Fran giggled once more.

Giving the phone in his hand a quizzical look Derek just shook his head and decided to call Penelope – for the tenth time at least during the past three days.

"Hey, handsome." Penelope greeted with a smile. "What kind of magic do you want me to work for you?"

"We still don't really have a clue." he sighed. "I… um… I just miss you."

He couldn't see how her face lit up and her eyes sparkled. "And you just called to tell me that?" she asked.

"Basically… yes." he admitted. "Hotch and Rossi are questioning suspects and Reid and Emily are still doing the victimology and the demographics. I absconded for a while."

"And you used that time to call me?" she giggled.

"I couldn't think of any better way to spend my time." Derek grinned. "You know, mom told me that you and my sisters went shopping today?"

Chuckling Penelope replied: "That's true."

"And… um… would you mind telling me what you bought?" he tried to press her.

"Sorry, but that's a surprise." Derek could almost hear her grin.

"I like surprises." he grinned himself. "What's it about?"

"I can't tell you." she insisted. "That's why it's called a surprise."

He opened his mouth to shoot something back but was kept from it when Hotch and Rossi entered the motel. "Sorry, baby girl, the bosses are back." he chuckled. "I'll call you later."

"Sure." Penelope said happily and just a second before Derek could hang up: "And, Derek?"

"Yeah?" he gave his attention back to her.

After a few seconds she said quickly and in a low voice: "I miss you too." Then she hung up.

Derek didn't even try to stop the happy grin from spreading all over his face.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 8

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** some angst and hurt/comfort

It was almost ridiculous, even to himself. He hadn't been that excited since… well, he couldn't even remember. But yet he was smiling, almost grinning the whole flight long. He heard Spencer and JJ whisper and giggle behind his back but he didn't care.

After four weeks he was finally on the plane heading back to Quantico. He always missed Penelope, and on very long cases he missed her even more. But today it was different. He had every right to catch her in his arms and kiss her as soon as he returned. And that prospect made him excited and… simply happy.

However, when he entered her office and his eyes fell upon her, the smile made way for a concerned frown. She looked pale and exhausted, almost ill. Derek hurried over to her, pulled her to her feet and wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"Hey, baby girl." he whispered. "Are you okay?"

"I am now." she sighed and leaned her head against his chest.

"You look ill." Derek stated not even trying to keep the worry out of his voice.

"I'm fine." Penelope assured and closed her eyes, cherishing the feeling of his strong arms holding her. She didn't plan to let go of him anytime soon. "I'm just tired, that's all. I don't sleep very much during cases."

"Shut your babies down, mama." Derek commanded and kissed the top of her head. "I'll take you home."

"Hmm." she mumbled and nodded slightly. Unwillingly she let go of him to turn around and shut her computers down for the night.

Derek watched her, feeling relieved and worried at the same time. Relieved because he was finally back with her. He almost couldn't believe how much he'd missed her. He'd never missed Penelope that much before – or maybe he simply hadn't noticed that he had.

Yet he was worried that she looked so distraught – even though he could understand she was after the recent case. He just wished Penelope would let him comfort her tonight. He desperately wanted, needed to feel her body snuggled up against him.

Penelope wasn't sure if she should ask him but she knew that she needed to. The last thing she wanted tonight was to be alone, lying awake in her bed tossing and turning when she could have the comfort of lying in Derek's arms.

The fact that she allowed him to drive Esther worried him even more and Derek wondered if he should just ask her what was really wrong. He watched her sink into the passenger seat and felt a sudden urge to bring her back into his arms and comfort her. He hadn't felt that way since he'd seen her in the hospital in so much pain – pain that he'd felt he was to blame for.

When he started the engine Penelope cleared her throat and started to fumble with the light scarf she wore. "You know, I… I wondered if you'd mind… if I… well, came over to your place tonight." her voice trailed off at the end of this sentence.

Derek turned his head to look at her not sure that she had really said what he thought he'd heard.

"I just… fear I won't get any sleep tonight if I was alone." she added almost not audible.

Smiling he reached over to squeeze her hand and simply replied: "Me neither." He brought her hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss into her palm.

Penelope entwined her fingers with his and absentmindedly stroked the back of his hand with her thumb. She was glad that Derek was back with her. The last case had simply reminded her too much of what had happened to her and she had suffered nightmares for a good week now.

They remained silent until they'd reached Derek's apartment. Clooney greeted his master exuberantly and Penelope found herself smiling at that sight.

When Clooney saw that they had a guest he excitedly jumped up and down next to Penelope and barked a greeting wagging his tail so much that his whole backside wagged with it.

"Clooney, be careful with her!" Derek scolded his dog.

As if to show his agreement Clooney let his backside drop to the floor so that he was sitting in front of Penelope invitingly looking up at her.

She reached out and scratched the overgrown puppy behind his right ear.

Derek saw his dog melt under Penelope's touch and chuckled. "Seems we have the same taste in women, buddy." he grinned.

Penelope's head shot up to stare at him for a second before she blushed and let her head sink again so that Derek couldn't see it. "Just recently, I guess." she mumbled.

Frowning Derek thought about the latest advice he'd gotten from his mother. He stepped towards her, turned her around and pulled her close against him so that her back was snuggled against his chest and they were both facing the huge mirror in his corridor.

"What do you see in there, baby girl?" Derek asked pointing his head towards the mirror.

Smiling she put her arms above his which were wrapped tightly around her waist and leaned her head against his shoulder. "You." she answered.

"You know what I meant." he softly said pressing his cheek against hers. Her soft hair tickled his skin. "When you look at yourself, what do you see?"

Penelope looked down and just shrugged.

"I'll tell you what I see." he stated and kissed her cheek. "I see a very beautiful and incredibly smart young woman who is willing to sacrifice herself, her job, even her whole life for other people without asking for anything in return. I see the most caring and most compassionate person I ever met.

When I look into your face I see the sultriest lips I can imagine. While you're speaking your tongue is flipping over them, just slightly and I'm sure you don't even notice you do that. But it drives me crazy every time.

Every day you manage to surprise me by the way you do your hair. It's beautiful, no matter what you do with it. I loved the braids you wore that night I stayed with you, they made your face look so innocent, almost childlike. And I love the pigtails you sometimes wear because they make you look so jaunty. But what I love most is when those golden locks are framing your beautiful face. And recently I discovered that I also love the way your hair smells.

Your skin is so much like porcelain that you appear almost vulnerable. And yet you proved so many times how brave and strong you are. You went through so much pain but you never complained, not even once. You fought like a lion and you surpassed yourself.

But the first thing I noticed about you were your gorgeous brown eyes. When I look into them it's almost like I can look right into your heart. And I see so much warmth and love in them that I'm stunned every single time. You have so much to offer, Penelope. And I still don't know what I did to deserve that you offer it to me.

You never fail to make me smile no matter how bad things are. Our phone bantering was much more important to me than I ever told you or even realized myself. It kept me sane even during the worst cases. And I'm sorry it took almost losing you for me to realize what I have and how I feel about you.

I never thought I could find a woman like you. After what happened to me I built a huge shield around me and I swore an oath to myself that I'd never let anyone in again. I don't know how you managed to get behind that shield but you did and I'm very glad about that. Because you did what no one else could. You healed me. You warmed me. And most of all you showed me that letting someone in doesn't necessarily mean getting hurt."

The tears had sprung to her eyes somewhere in the middle of his second sentence and were now uncontrollably running down her cheeks. She raised her hand to caress his cheek and said: "When I realized that he had done the same to you I desperately wanted to… take all this pain away from you. I always thought I could do almost anything with my babies – but the one thing that was most important to me I couldn't do. I couldn't undo your past."

"I felt the same when I saw you in the hospital in so much pain." he softly replied. "And it was even worse to know that in a way I had caused it. I wanted you to feel good and safe again. That's when I finally realized how much you mean to me I guess. I love you, Penelope, in every possible way."

"Thank you." she whispered and turned in his embrace to bury her face in his chest once again. "I love you too. And you did, you took the pain away from me."

"Apparently not all of it." he whispered gently swaying her in his arms.

"I'm sure you will." Penelope sniffled. "I just need some time."

"And you need to let me do so." Derek softly added.

For a long time they were standing in his corridor holding each other while Clooney sat next to them trying to find out what to make out of this situation while he watched them.

Derek started to worry that his words might have offended her. He was about to apologize when she finally spoke.

"I'm glad you're back, handsome." Penelope raised her head and locked eyes with him. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, goddess." he smiled and leaned down to capture her lips with his. God, it felt so unbelievably good to kiss her again.

A soft moan escaped Penelope's lips as he pulled her close against him. The memory of being shot had come back to her during the recent case. All victims had been shot in the abdomen left to bleed to death and Penelope had started to wonder about how much pain the victims must have felt before they died – and about how much pain she'd felt for over a month. But Derek's touch and their soft kiss made the memories fade again.

When he finally had to break the kiss for air Derek put his hand on the nape of her neck kneading it gently his forehead leaning against hers.

"Do you want to take a shower?" he asked quietly without releasing her from his embrace.

"That would be great." she nodded.

After another minute of enjoying the mutual touch Derek pulled back and led her to his bathroom. "I'll change the bedding." he explained before he left her alone. "You can have the bed, I'll take the couch."

He took out the flashiest bedding he had which was a blue fabric with some dolphins on it his sister Sarah had bought him – for a reason only she knew. But for the first time he was glad he had it because he was sure Penelope would love it.

Derek decided to take a quick shower himself when Penelope was finished. After ten minutes he was heading back to his bedroom to check if she needed anything. Carefully he knocked on the door.

"Come in!" she called.

Derek opened the door to find her sitting on his bed, the blanket covering her body up to her hips. "Do you have everything you need?"

"Yes, I'm fine." she smiled. "Thanks."

Slowly Derek stepped closer, sat down on the bed and reached out to stroke her cheek. "Have a good night's sleep, sweetness." he softly said. Then he leaned forward to kiss her forehead and stood up again.

Penelope quickly grabbed his hand and held him back.

Turning back to her Derek raised both his eyebrows giving her a questioning look. "Is there anything you need?" he asked when she didn't speak.

"Actually… yes." she whispered and looked down again.

Derek sat back down on the bed, cupped her chin with his hand and made her look at him again but she kept avoiding his eyes. She still had a hard time asking him for anything. "Just tell me, baby girl!" he softly commanded. "I promise I'll get you anything you want."

"You know, I… it's just that…" she stumbled but didn't dare finish the sentence.

"Tell me!" he repeated. "Whatever it is, I'll get it for you."

"Will you… hold me?" she finally asked still refusing to look at him.

A radiant smile spread across his face and he caressed her cheek once again. "There's nothing I'd like to do more tonight." He stood up to switch off the light in the living room and quickly hurried back to the beautiful blonde in his bed.

Penelope moved over and Derek immediately crawled under the blanket spreading his arms.

Smiling she placed her head on his muscular chest and snuggled up as close to him as humanly possible closing her eyes happily. She felt safe and comfortable in his arms.

Gently kissing the top of her head Derek took in the scent of her hair and whispered: "Do you want to tell me what kept you up during the past nights? It wasn't just the case, right?"

For a long time she didn't say anything. Then she decided that telling him could be the first step of finally opening up to him. "This case… made the nightmares come back."

He pulled back a little to look at her in concern pushing a strand out of her face and asked: "Baby girl, why didn't you tell me?"

She just shrugged: "I didn't want to bother you."

"I'm your boyfriend." he whispered and kissed her forehead. "You're supposed to bother me with things like that."

Penelope raised her head to give him a quick peck on his lips and put it back on his chest without ever really looking at him. "I know." she assured. "I just… need some time to get used to it, I guess. I'm used to dealing with things like that on my own."

"You don't have to." Derek wrapped his arms tighter around her. "I'm here to comfort you whenever you need it."

"Thank you." she whispered. "I appreciate that."

"Whoa, hey, this is not a sacrifice I make." Derek almost scolded her. "And it's not that the comfort isn't mutual. I love to hold you."

"I love that too." she whispered and snuggled up even closer against him knowing that tonight she would finally be able to get the strengthening sleep she needed.


	9. Chapter 9

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 9

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** we're at the more fluffy part now :)

**AN:**_ A special thanks to Gretchen who despite the fact that she was really busy managed to beta-read this story in just a few days. You're so awesome. :)_

_And of course, thank all of you for the wonderful reviews. There will be at least two more chapters - even though I'm not really sure how to finish the story. But I'm positive I'll figure it out. ;)_

"Are you finally going to tell me what the surprise is?" Derek asked impatiently while he tried to get any hints by examining the surroundings. The countryside was beautiful and rather lonely. So when Penelope turned left onto a forest road and parked the car he was completely confused. "You're not going to get rid of my body here, right?" he mumbled.

"No." she laughed and opened the trunk. Taking out a large bag she tossed over to him she grinned: "We're going camping."

Clooney barked a happy agreement and decided it was a good idea to go and check out the little forest. Penelope had insisted on taking the puppy with them.

Derek stared at the bag in his hands and his eyes widened when he noticed it was a sleeping bag. Carefully he stepped closer to examine the rest of the baggage she'd brought.

Penelope stopped taking the bags out of the trunk and gave Derek an insecure smile: "You said you never had the chance to go camping with your father so… I thought that… But we don't have to…"

He cut her off by wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close to him. "Baby girl, this is perfect." he smiled and leaned down to kiss her. "Thank you."

A huge smile spread across her face and she pecked his lips. "You're welcome."

They quickly got the rest of the bags to the place Penelope had chosen for their four days of camping. Unfortunately, they didn't have more time because they had to leave for Fran's birthday on Friday – but that wouldn't keep them from enjoying the time they were allowed to spend with each other. At least they'd gotten the whole week off after the last case.

"And they always say women are bad at things like that." Penelope giggled as she watched Derek struggling to construct the tent.

"Hey, are you going to help me or do you just want to stand there and tease me?" he scolded.

Shaking her head she took the tent poles from him. In less then ten minutes she was finished and grinned at a stunned Derek who stared at her in disbelief.

"How many times exactly have you been camping before?" he wanted to know.

"I went camping with my family at least twice every year." she shrugged. "It was the only vacation that didn't pollute nature. Hippies, remember?"

"Well, good for me." Derek grinned. "I tried to convince Spencer to go camping with me. But I think the only way he'd give in to me would have been to stun and abduct him."

"Yeah, tell me about it." she chuckled.

Derek raised both his eyebrows: "You wanted to go camping with Reid?" Not to mention that she'd asked the genius before she'd asked him.

"No." Penelope quickly assured. "I just… well, when I originally planned this we weren't… so close yet…"

"You mean we weren't an item." he softly corrected her.

"Right." she nodded. "And since we weren't… an item I wanted to take Reid with us… but since he refused…"

"Wait!" he interrupted her again. "How long have you been planning this?"

"Well… um… actually since you told me about your dad promising to go camping with you." she admitted in a low voice.

Derek stared at her and although he never thought it would be possible he realized that he had just fallen more for the beautiful blonde in front of him. After a moment of speechlessness he hurried over to her, wrapped his arms tightly around her and pulled her into a deep kiss.

When Derek finally had to break the kiss for air he panted: "Honey, that's the best surprise I ever got from anyone."

"I'm glad you like it." she smiled.

"I love it." he nodded and leaned down to kiss her again. "And I love you. No one has ever done anything like that for me before."

"I just… It made me sad that you never had the chance to go camping and… I know it's not the same like going with your dad but…"

He silenced her by putting his index finger over her lips and smiled: "Baby girl, it's perfect."

Penelope rewarded those words with a radiant smile and another breathtaking kiss. This time they had to break it when Clooney started to bark a protest at being ignored too long.

Fortunately Derek turned out to be better at making a fire than at building the tent. He had to admit that Penelope was really adept at camping. She cooked some Spaghetti over the open fire and she'd also brought some dough she kneaded around a stick to roast it.

"All for of my brothers were boy scouts." she smiled and handed him a piece of dough and some of her homemade strawberry jam. "When I was a kid I ate this almost every weekend."

"It's really tasty." Derek smiled back at her. "Especially with the jam. I never thought of you as a cook."

Penelope rolled her eyes and objected: "It's not that tasty anymore if you're forced to eat it every week – or if you are forced to cook the jam."

"That bad, huh?" he grinned.

Frowning a little Penelope replied: "When I was a kid I wished that we would do something else at least once in a while. I stopped going camping with them when I was fourteen. But after my parents had died I… wished I had gone with them at least one more time."

The sad tone in her voice ripped at his heart and Derek reached over to grab her hand and offer her some comfort. "I'm sorry." he simply said.

She entwined her fingers with his and smiled: "I guess we all have done or didn't do things in our life that we regret. I couldn't have known that they would die so early."

"And you broke contact with your brothers?" Derek carefully asked.

"After the death of my parents, yes." she nodded staring into the fire. "I was… glad that I finally didn't have to keep up the illusion anymore."

"What do you mean?" he wanted to know.

Snorting slightly Penelope answered: "My parents always thought that my brothers and I were really close and that we had fun camping every weekend. But as a matter of fact they hated me – just as much as I hated them."

Derek gently squeezed her hand and asked: "Why did you hate each other?"

"I just… wasn't worthy of being their sister." she shrugged. "My brothers were the jocks, the star-quarterback kind of guys. And I've been the geek my whole life long, more interested in computers and crimes than sports."

"And you never told your parents that you… didn't get along with your brothers?"

She just shook her head: "My parents loved all of us and they were happy thinking that we were a close family. I loved them too much to destroy that illusion. So I avoided my brothers whenever I could."

"So your brothers taught you that geeks and jocks simply didn't interact." he deduced.

"In a way." Penelope shrugged. "Becoming such close friends with you was more than I ever thought would be possible."

"And you still think you're not worth being more than that to me." he concluded.

"I know that you love me." she assured. "And I understand why you love me. But still I… can't imagine that you are… attracted to me."

Giving her a puzzled look Derek asked: "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Come on, Derek, look at me!" she snorted. "I'm not the kind of woman men like you find attractive. And don't tell me it doesn't matter that I'm fat because I know it does, it always did." her voice trailed off at the end of the sentence.

"Did your brothers tell you that?" he softly asked. "That you're fat and not attractive?"

This time she didn't answer.

"Okay, first of all, you're not fat, just a little curvy and I think that's very sexy." Derek objected. "I never fell in love with any of those women. They were adventures, easy targets for a one-night-stand that is. I know this wasn't very perceptive but… in a way I always felt like I had to prove that I'm attractive to them. I understand that you feel like you can't trust me in any way but…"

"This is not about trust." Penelope objected and raised her head to look at him. "I would entrust my life to you without even thinking about it and you know that."

"But yet you think I'll dump you for the first woman that crosses my way."

Hearing the disappointment in his voice made her feel incredibly guilty. "No, I just…"

"If you expect the worst you won't be disappointed." Derek softly said. "And if you don't let anyone in you can't get hurt."

Penelope's head shot up and she gave him a quizzical look.

"Do you think I don't know what it's like to be dumped?" he asked. "When I was fifteen I had a crush on a girl in my class. When I asked her out she said she'd never go out with a dirty nigger. My whole life long I had to be better, stronger and more sportive than everyone else just because I am black. I know what it's like to be judged by nothing but your appearance."

"I never… thought about that." she admitted in a low voice.

"Because you are different." Derek smiled at her and now took both her hands in his. "You don't care about the fact that I'm black, you never did. Because you aren't that superficial."

Remembering that this was exactly what she'd accused him of Penelope looked back down and whispered: "I'm sorry, I know you aren't either."

"Maybe not superficial." he replied. "But very slow on the uptake sometimes. It took me way too long to realize that you are more I ever dared to ask for. And it took me even longer to finally make a move. But after I realized what you mean to me I was scared."

"Of what?" she wanted to know.

"Well, first of all I never felt this way before and I… I'm not too experienced regarding relationships. I was afraid I might hurt you so I thought I should wait and let our friendship grow more first. And when you told me about that guy in the coffee shop I was jealous. I thought I was about to lose you and that was why I wanted you to blow him off. And I asked you out back then not because I wanted to make up for everything but because I didn't want to miss another chance."

"You never needed to be jealous of anyone." Penelope replied in a low voice. "My heart had belonged to you long before I even met Battle. I just never thought you might feel the same for me."

"I do." he smiled. "I love you, I need you and I want you. I always thought I didn't want a real relationship and I never realized that I just didn't want a relationship with anyone but you."

A sad expression appeared on her face and she still refused to look at him.

Derek was sure he knew what she was thinking about. So he gently cupped her chin with his hand and made her look at him. "And I'm very glad that we didn't just jump into bed the first night but waited."

"Really?" Penelope looked up and gave him a watery smile.

"Really." Derek nodded. "All relationships I have had so far started with sex – and they were over pretty soon afterwards. I'm glad that we took things slow and had the chance to get to know each other. I know that this time it's something real and something very good. Because I've never been so happy before."

A radiant smile spread across her face. "Me neither." she whispered and leaned over to give Derek a passionate kiss – which was abruptly interrupted by a cold nose and a wet tongue licking both their faces.

"Clooney!" Derek scolded.

"Seems he's a little jealous." Penelope giggled while she scratched that particular spot behind his right ear.

"The question is of whom." he chuckled.

"You know we both love you." Penelope said locking eyes with the overgrown puppy. "But we love each other too. So you can't interrupt us every time we kiss."

"Do you think he understands what you're saying?" Derek grinned.

"It's worth giving it a try." Penelope shrugged and leaned over to kiss Derek again.

This time Clooney jumped at his master and almost threw him off the trunk they were sitting on. "There you have the answer." he stated.

Penelope burst out laughing: "You know, I could deal with a bunch of jealous women but I'm not sure how to handle a jealous dog."

"I'll only warn you once, Buddy!" Derek said in his firmest voice. "Either you behave or you'll spend the night outside the tent!"

"You don't have the heart to do that." Penelope smiled at him.

"I don't want to share the sleeping bag with this puppy." he said rolling his eyes.

Penelope just giggled and gave Clooney an apologizing look: "Sorry, sweetie, but your master definitely has a point there."

"Maybe we should go in." Derek suggested when he noticed Penelope shiver in respond to a cold breeze.

"That's a good idea." she nodded rubbing her upper arms with her hands. "It's getting cold."

Derek put out the fire and hurried over to the tent. It really was a little cold outside. He tapped at the tent to make sure Penelope wasn't changing her clothes or anything and entered quickly closing the zipper behind him not to let the cold in. A little puzzled he looked around and asked: "Where's my sleeping bag?"

"You know, this one… is… for two people." she shrugged and smiled sheepishly. "I thought since we've already shared a bed…"

"Move over, baby girl." he softly commanded and slid into the bag next to her.

Penelope fastened the zipper and snuggled up against him. "I didn't want to do without cuddling the whole time." she mumbled.

"And I'm very glad about that." he smiled and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, goddess."

"I love you, sweetness." she sighed happily.

Clooney whined next to them.

"We love you too, Clooney." they both said simultaneously and burst out laughing.


	10. Chapter 10

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 10

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** we're at the more fluffy part now :)

**AN:** _I know, long time again since I last updated the story. And I can't even promise chapter 11 will be up sooner – but at least I have a slight idea what it will look like so there's a good chance it will._

_Anyway, thanks again for all the reviews, I always try to answer all of them but if I missed any I'm sorry, I appreciated them nonetheless._

_Hope you'll enjoy this chapter!_

It was true that time went by faster while you were having fun. The four days were over in the blink of an eye and now they were sitting in front of the fire for the last time. They were going to head back home around four p.m. the next day, which gave them enough time to pack new clothes together and get some sleep before they had to head for the airport at eight a.m. the next morning. They had both agreed that it was better to arrive at Derek's mother's house in the morning so that they would be able to help her prepare for the party in the evening.

Penelope couldn't quite believe how good it had done their relationship to spend a full four days with each other. She knew that she had given Derek a very hard time and that she had been the one who had kept their relationship from becoming more than just a few clandestine kisses and cuddling from time to time.

The four days alone with him had shown Penelope two things: The first was that Derek was truly interested in her, attracted to her. The way he looked at her while they were alone was different from all the looks she'd ever gotten from him. It was… almost lecherous at times. Of course, he couldn't look at her like that in front of other people. But sometime during their second day of camping she had caught him staring at her lips with a dreamy smile on his face and her heart had started to race.

She'd even told herself she'd imagined it. But during the next day she'd noticed more often that sometimes Derek simply watched her. He had watched her when she brushed her hair, when she played with Clooney or when she cooked. And sometimes he had simply stared at her, not only her lips but also into her eyes or at her entire body with that smile on his face – and Penelope had felt that he liked what he saw. This feeling had been completely new and when she had first realized it she had felt a knot in her stomach. But now it felt good.

At first she had avoided his gaze, blushed most of the time when she'd noticed that he watched her. Now when she caught him she grinned at him and leaned over to kiss him almost every time. That fact had encouraged Derek to watch her more often and more obvious and Penelope felt… wanted. It was a good feeling, maybe even the best she'd ever had.

For years she had told herself that Derek would never feel this way about her. Even after their first kiss and in the first few weeks of their developing relationship she'd been sure that he just felt guilty or maybe pitied her and that once these feelings were over their relationship would be as well.

However, despite all her worries and hesitancy and after she'd kept pushing him away for so long hoping that he'd realize rather sooner than later that he didn't need to feel guilty and take care of her and she didn't want to be pitied Derek had stayed nonetheless and made every effort to woo her. And Penelope had started to wonder if maybe Derek really loved her – in the neither friendly nor brotherly kind of way.

If she hadn't already been after Derek had told her why he loved her she was definitely sure now that he did and that he wanted her – and she was sure that she loved and wanted him. Yes, she wanted him. She wanted him to be entirely hers. And moreover, she wanted to be entirely his.

The second thing that these four days had shown her was that it could really work. The time with Derek had been pure heaven, they had talked a lot, cuddled and kissed almost the whole time. Penelope had always felt a little awkward kissing Derek and he had probably noticed that because he'd made only few attempts to do so. Of course, she'd never backed off and it had felt really good but still… unusual, unreal even.

Now she couldn't get enough of their kissing, handholding and cuddling. And it felt so incredibly good and definitely, absolutely right and real!

She had felt better, safer pretending that they were still nothing more but friends. Thinking about them being more than just that had pretty much scared her off. She simply couldn't think of Derek Morgan as her lover… at least not until now. For the first time she didn't feel uncomfortable when that thought crossed her mind. In contrast she found herself smiling at it.

"What's on your pretty mind, beautiful?" Derek asked when he noticed the corners of her mouth going up remarkably.

Pet names and flirting has never been anything Derek was one bit hesitant with. He had called her sexy, gorgeous and beautiful so many times that she couldn't count them anymore. Yet Penelope had never even considered he could actually mean what he said.

Turning her head she smiled at him: "The last few days with you. It was… so great to spend all this time alone with you and… I'm a little sad that our camping is over."

"Me too." Derek nodded and leaned over to give her a deep, passionate kiss. "We should definitely do this again."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure we will." Penelope whispered and kissed him again. When she pulled back she smiled at him.

Derek returned the smile and gently caressed her cheek. He couldn't believe how things had developed in the past four days. They had become so much closer to each other. Not that they hadn't been close before. Derek had always told Penelope things he never told anyone else and vice versa. But now they had really opened up to each other. In fact, for the first time since they'd started dating they behaved like lovers – and Derek felt like he was probably the luckiest man on earth.

Penelope looked into his dark brown eyes and noticed that there was this smile again – and she immediately felt the butterflies in her stomach. She was in love and for the first time in many years she allowed herself to be.

"What?" he asked when he saw an unfamiliar expression on her face.

"Nothing" she shrugged, "just... thank you."

"For what?" he wanted to know the look on his face even more puzzled than a second ago.

"Well" she smiled a little sheepishly, "for the first time I can think of my brothers and be… proud. Proud of what I have achieved in my life, proud of my job and that I'm good at it. And a little jubilant – because I have you."

Derek grinned like mad and stated: "If you ever want to show your brothers – or anyone else – that you are the goddess of brilliance and beauty who is most definitely worth my attention, I'm up for it."

"No" she giggled, "but thank you. That's really sweet. But it's enough for me to know that my brothers were wrong. That I'm not inferior to anyone because I use my brain rather than my not so sportive body."

"I think they were just jealous." Derek said sincerely. "And I must know it 'cause I'm a profiler. You were for sure the most intelligent member of your family and they simply couldn't deal with it. That's why they tried to make you feel cheap."

"And they did pretty good, I guess." Penelope mumbled and looked down.

Derek took her hand and squeezed it gently but he didn't say anything.

"They kept laughing at me when I failed in sports." she continued entwining her fingers with his. "When I was about ten one of my brothers… took a picture of me in a swimsuit to school and showed it around. Everyone laughed at me the next day and I didn't even know why until my brother showed me the picture and told me his friends had just never seen a fat pig in a swimsuit before."

Derek clenched his fist. If he ever met this guy he would beat the shit out of him for hurting his baby girl like that. He knew how cruel kids could be – he'd experienced that himself. But that was…

"I refused to go to school for a full week." she interrupted his thoughts. "But when I had to go back fortunately everyone had forgotten about the stupid picture."

"Everyone but you." Derek softly said.

Penelope just shrugged. "They always made me believe that I was worthless because I was so non-athletic. But that… really hurt." she had never told anyone about the incident. Nor had she ever admitted how much it had hurt her. She wasn't even sure why she told Derek now.

"I bet you could beat them at everything else without much effort." Derek smiled. "I'm sure you got an A in all the important subjects."

"I did." she nodded without the least sign of conceit. "And at least my parents were proud of me. But my brothers managed to make me believe that I wasn't all that intelligent – or at least that it wasn't important. You know, not as important as being a jock."

"It is even more important." he objected. "Because when they are old and weak and ugly they'll have nothing left while you'll still have your outstanding intellect."

"So you think I'll become old and weak and ugly, huh?" she teased.

"Ugly never." Derek grinned. "But maybe old and weak – and I hope you'll become all that with me."

"Yeah, I'd like that." Penelope whispered and leaned over to kiss him once more. Fortunately Clooney had learned to live with it and just barked from time to time when he thought they overdid it.

This time when they pulled back they were both grinning like idiots and Derek stated: "You know, I'd love to see you in a swimsuit."

"No, you wouldn't." she almost gasped.

Derek leaned back a little to get a better view of her and smiled mischievously: "I would."

She couldn't help but smile. His words made her feel better, attractive actually. A feeling she'd almost forgotten about. "Maybe one day." she murmured and blushed a little.

Smiling Derek put a strand of her golden hair behind her ear and whispered: "I can't believe how lucky I am."

"How lucky you are?" she exclaimed. "I'm the one who's really lucky."

"Can we agree that we both are?" he said unusually serious.

Penelope gave him a quizzical look.

Derek took a deep breath and held it for a second before slowly letting it back out. Then he explained: "I didn't just keep silent about Buford because I wanted to protect him. I was… scared that if people found out they would think I was… dirty and that no one could love me anymore. I knew that when I let anyone in they'd eventually find out about it. I was frightened by the simple thought that people would know.

However, when you found out I was relieved. I've wanted to tell you so many times before the case in Chicago, every time I called you after one of the nightmares pretending that I just couldn't sleep. But I was too scared to open up to you. I… was scared of your reaction. I thought you would… I don't know, look at me with pity or simply a knowing look or that you'd treat me differently maybe even stop flirting with me. But you never did."

"It never even crossed my mind." Penelope replied squeezing his hand. "All I wanted was to beat that guy to unconsciousness but I never thought about you in any different way. You were still the same man, the man I loved like no one else in the world. But you'd been hurt and when I found out about that it… hurt me too."

All he could do was squeeze her hand in return. He'd never been so touched before. It wasn't the fact that she'd listened. It wasn't even the fact that she cared because he already knew she did. It was more the fact that when she'd found out about his past the only thing she'd worried about was the fact that he'd been hurt.

Penelope leaned over and kissed him again, soft and very soulful. She felt special because she knew Derek had barely talked about Buford or his feelings due to the abuse with the psychologist Hotch had sent him to after he'd found out – let alone anyone else.

When she pulled back she leaned her head against his shoulder and his arm went around her to pull her a little closer. They sat there in a comfortable silence for quite a long time until they decided that it was too cold to stay outside – or at least more comfortable inside the tent.

They turned their backs to each other while they changed their clothes. That Penelope felt wanted by Derek didn't mean she found it easy to undress in front of him. She was glad that Derek accepted that. In a way it made her feel guilty that he was so understanding. She sometimes felt she asked too much of him.

Derek resisted the wish to turn around and watch her. He didn't want Penelope to think of him as a voyeur and he definitely didn't want to invade her privacy like that and make her feel uncomfortable. One day she would realize that he really loved to look at her.

In less than five minutes they were both tucked in the sleeping bag snuggled up closely against each other. Unlike all the evenings before they were facing each other and grinning from ear to ear.

Derek slowly leaned over to capture Penelope's soft lips with his and they soon found themselves lost in a breathtaking kiss. Derek's hand rested on her arm not daring to move. But when the urge to touch her became irresistible he slowly started to stroke her arm and was relieved that she didn't pull away.

Derek's hand made her skin prickle with pleasure wherever he touched her and Penelope carefully reached out to touch him in return. Her fingers slowly traced the lines of muscles on his chest and her heart beat faster. She'd dreamed about touching him like this so often but she'd never thought that one day she would have every right to do so.

The world around them stopped existing and they were so preoccupied with kissing and petting each other that they didn't hear Clooney whine next to them nor did they notice the sun rising outside.

Derek gingerly let his hand move a little further down to Penelope's hip and then quickly back up her arm. He couldn't believe that she allowed him to touch her like that. His whole body started to hum and he couldn't help but break the kiss and start to nibble on her neck.

"Don't!" Penelope gasped but the next second she felt stupid and somehow guilty.

Derek pulled back and gave her a concerned look: "I'm sorry, Penelope, I didn't mean to…"

"No, I'm sorry." she quickly interrupted him and he could practically hear the tears in her voice. "I shouldn't have backed off like that. It's just that…"

"It's okay." Derek assured and gently cupped her chin with his hand. "I'm sorry if I did anything you didn't want."

"It's not that I didn't… want that." she whispered. "I… really enjoyed that and…"

"That scared you off." he softly added.

Penelope blushed. She'd never felt so stupid before.

"Look at me!" Derek commanded. "Please, Penelope, look at me!"

She took a deep breath and slowly raised her head. She didn't want to meet his eyes and see the disappointment maybe even an accusation in them.

But Derek just smiled and said: "Step by step, baby girl. You're setting the pace."

Nodding she gave him a watery smile and whispered: "Thank you!"

He reached out and stroked her cheek: "We will take one step after the other. As I said, there's no need to hurry."

"I love you." she whispered and his heart leaped with joy. It was the first time that she'd said these words first and not in return to his confession.

"I love you too." Derek smiled and pulled her closer.

But she pulled back and peeled herself out of the sleeping bag.

"What's wrong?" Derek asked unable to keep the worry out of his voice. Did she regret what had just happened? Was she mad at him for rushing her? And if she was where was she going? She couldn't sleep outside. He started to get up as well to follow her, talk to her, reassure her that he hadn't wanted to do anything she wasn't up to.

Penelope scratched Clooney's ear and turned to smile at Derek: "It's already dawn and we haven't fed Clooney yet. I'm sure he'd never forgive us if we left him hungry any longer."

Sighing with relief he sank back into the pillow and watched Penelope fill Clooney's bowl and hurry back to him. When she snuggled back up against him a huge smile spread across his face. He was most definitely the luckiest man on earth.


	11. Chapter 11

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 11

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** we're at the more fluffy part now :) So, BEWARE a lot of fluff.

**AN:**_Sorry, this is going to be a little longer._

_I was recently made aware of the fact that I'm almost only writing Morgan/Garcia fluff. That's true, I admit that, and I'm completely happy with that fact__. Moreover, I was told that the M/G fluff is done to death and therefore tiresome. I disagree with that: there can't be too much M/G fluff (just my humble opinion tho) and I don't think it's tiresome for everyone! It's further true that almost all of my stories are Morgan/Garcia but not all of them are fluff – at least not completely :D._

_Yes, I am a big M/G fan and love to write about them. __That doesn't mean that I won't try different things in the future. I already have by the way. There are a few stories about other shows and one of them is anything but fluff. Plus, I didn't dare to write a case centric fic yet because I fear I don't have the knowledge to do that and I don't want to write an implausible case fic._

_Anyway, I'm announcing that here because once and for all for everyone who thinks the same: Yes, I love to write Morgan/Garcia fluff and I don't think I'll stop anytime soon. (And because I wasn't possible to send a PM to the person concerned.) I'll attach an extra warning to every story/chapter from now on, just in case. If you don't like it, don't read it! _

_I know that sounds like I'm pissed, but actually I'm more confused, without understanding.__ Of course, it's flattering to hear that people think I'm a good writer with many ideas and that they would like to see me writing something different. But I fear they overestimate me. :) However, I tried a Sci-Fi novel once, but it's A) not complete and B) in German. Plus, I don't think I'd like to post it at all. laughs_

_But if you like to read more Morgan/Garcia fluff, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter! ;)_

_And again thank you for all the wonderful reviews I received for the last chapter as well as the stories I wrote for the Morgan/Garcia community prompts._

_Caro_

They stopped by at his apartment first so that Derek could pack some new clothes together. He had taken a shower while Penelope had made some coffee for them and taken care of Clooney who seemed a little disappointed that their camping trip was over.

While he packed he let Penelope take a shower – and he couldn't stop his thoughts from wandering to the image she would make… in his shower… naked… the hot water running down her porcelain like skin… _Focus!_ he scolded himself. But it was hard, really hard to focus on anything but her. The events of the previous night had just increased his want for her. She was so beautiful, so… perfect. Derek couldn't find another word.

"Penny." he heard the soft voice from the door.

Grinning he turned around to look at her and replied: "I was thinking about you and our trip and… well, to be honest it's hard to repress the want of kissing you breathless the whole day long."

Penelope felt her cheeks getting hot and looked down so that Derek couldn't see her blush.

Derek stepped in front of her, wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. "Thank you for the best four days I ever had." he smiled and leaned down to kiss her.

Sighing she closed her eyes and leaned up to meet his lips.

When Derek pulled back he saw a sad expression on her face and whispered: "Is something wrong, baby girl?"

"No" Penelope assured, "it's just that… I don't know. The past four days have brought us so much closer and I… I wouldn't want to alter them."

"But?" he softly pressed her.

"I don't know." she mumbled and looked down. "It's just… about last night..."

"I told you there's no need to be sorry." Derek reassured her. "And I absolutely don't want you to apologize. As I said, you're setting the pace."

"I know." Penelope nodded. "But I want you to understand that… I didn't back off because I didn't want that to happen. I did. It's just… well, to be honest, after four days without a shower I didn't feel very comfortable… and… I just want you to know that I really want you. I just thought that…"

He silenced her by putting his finger over her lips and smiled: "Baby girl, you know I appreciate that outstanding brain of yours but sometimes you just think too much."

"I know." she sighed again. "I know. I'm sorry."

"And stop apologizing!" he almost scolded her. "For the first time we were behaving like a real couple and I honestly hope we can go on like that. I mean, it's not that we ever made much of a secret of our relationship."

"No." she smiled and blushed remembering how Derek hadn't cared about people watching them while they were kissing. "And I never wanted to keep it secret." As if to prove her words she leaned up and kissed him passionately.

Derek glanced at the clock on his bedroom wall and sighed. "You'd better hurry and get your things. It's already half past seven."

"That's plenty of time." she frowned.

"Not when I'm taking you out for dinner." he grinned.

Penelope smiled a little mischievously and asked: "Is that another date?"

"Most definitely!" he chuckled as he led her out of his apartment.

Twenty minutes later Derek leaned in the doorway to her bedroom and watched her packing the suitcase. She was so beautiful, the smile on her face because she knew he was standing there and her amazing voice was humming one of the gospel songs they'd learned. He could spend hours watching her like this knowing that she allowed him to, obviously even enjoyed that he watched her.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at her door. "I'll get it." he stated and headed for the door when he heard her okay. He really hoped they weren't called in for another case. On the other hand it was kind of improbable because Hotch would surely have called them instead of sending someone to Penelope's apartment.

When Derek opened the door and saw the slim young agent and the grinning blonde standing there he frowned, crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned against the doorway. "Reid, JJ. We're not getting another case, right?"

"Nope." Reid grinned. "JJ beat me at poker so I earned her a movie's night. We just wanted to ask if the two of you want to join us."

"She beat you?" Derek's eyebrows shot up.

"I distracted him a little." JJ chuckled.

"Yeah, I can imagine that." Derek grinned. "Hang on, I'll ask Penelope."

Just two seconds later he returned with a grinning Penelope at his side. "We're in." she said.

"Great", JJ conspiratorially wrapped her arm around Penelope's shoulder and whispered, "so, how did your camping trip go?"

"Perfect." Penelope smiled at her. "Simply perfect."

"How many times did she actually beat you?" Derek asked as Reid and he sat down in the dual seats while the girls had headed for the rest room.

"Well, I think it's not that bad." Reid shrugged. "Actually, I like love movies."

"Why does that statement not surprise me?" Derek chuckled.

"Come on, a dual seat, your girl, a romantic movie… Don't tell me you'd like to be anywhere else now." Reid grinned.

"You got a point there." he grinned back at him. "So, you and JJ, huh?"

"Nah, not really." Reid put him off. "I think she was just curious."

"Curious?" Derek raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, well, you know" the young man started to fumble with his tie, "about you and Garcia. She… wants to know how it's going, you know."

"Great." Derek answered with a suspicious frown.

"That's… good." he cleared his throat. "So… it works? I mean, JJ didn't tell me anything she just… well, mentioned that Garcia wasn't so sure about this relationship."

"I know." Derek nodded. "And from what she told me I understand why she's so… hesitant and careful." He was already breathing fire just thinking about her brothers and his fist desperately wanted to punch anything.

Reid knew that it was better to remain silent at the moment.

"You know, I just wish I knew what to do to make her feel sure about my feelings for her and our relationship." Derek explained. "But I think we're getting there. I knew it wouldn't be easy after all she'd been through."

The young agent just nodded and gave his friend an understanding smile.

"I still can't believe all that myself." he smiled. "I mean, it took me so long to realize what she means to me and when I did I was pretty sure she wouldn't want me. We've been best friends for so long and… well, anyway, the four days of camping were really good for us."

"Yeah, I can see that." Reid chuckled.

This caused Derek to raise another eyebrow at him.

"Well" Reid grinned, "I've never seen you so happy before. You're… more light-hearted today than in the three years I've known you."

He smiled and leaned a little closer. "You know, the funny thing is that I've never BEEN so happy before. I never thought I would ever say that about any woman but I want to spend the rest of my life with Penelope."

"Wow, you're totally whipped." and he didn't even need to be a genius to figure that out.

"Yeah, I probably am." Derek chuckled. "And it doesn't bother me one bit. In fact, it's the best feeling I ever had."

"But?" Reid asked carefully when he noticed a hint of worry on his friend's face.

"No but." Derek sighed. "I was just… thinking. You know, I probably shouldn't tell you."

Reid didn't even consider trying to encourage him. Derek would talk if he wanted to.

"I'm just… a little pissed, that's all." he finally grumbled.

"At Garcia?" the other man asked in disbelief.

"No, of course, not." Derek sighed again. "Okay, she… told me something about her brothers and why she broke contact with them. They were… anything but nice, you know. They were really cruel and they hurt her. And I just… I would like to meet them and…"

"Beat them up?" Reid guessed.

"Yeah" he snorted. "And then give them a piece of my mind. I mean, how stupid have they been not to realize what a wonderful sister they have. Penelope's beautiful, brilliant and good-hearted and as long as I've known her I'm sure she was willing to give them all the love she had to offer – and they treated her like a piece of shit. They should have been glad to have a sister like her. I think anyone would be."

"I am." Reid smiled. "I mean, she's the closest to a sister I ever had and… well, no one cared so much about me before. If I had a sister, I would want her to be exactly like Garcia."

"See, that's what I mean." Derek nodded. "I just can't understand how they could treat her like that. I had fights with my sisters too but… you know."

"I'm sure they loved her" Reid murmured, "she's their sister after all. Maybe it was just…"

"That's the exact problem." Derek cut him off. "There shouldn't be any just, you know what I mean? They should have simply loved her!"

Again he just nodded.

"I love Penelope without any but or it's just and I know it's an honor to be loved by her. I can't understand why her brothers didn't think about her the same way." Derek paused for a moment before he added: "I want to make sure no one ever hurts her again. You know, I… want to keep her safe. But I fear I can't. I already failed once."

"Isn't it kinda the same with children?" Reid smiled. "I mean, you try your best to keep them safe, protect them from getting hurt. But eventually you have to fail. I think maybe it's more important to be there to heal them afterwards."

Derek gave him an approving smile: "I didn't know you could be so profound."

"Yeah, strange that you're the one who gets all the girls, right?" he grinned and pointed his head towards a young woman who shyly smiled at Derek.

Derek just laughed: "You can have her if you like. I already found the one and only girl and I'm absolutely not planning to let her go, ever.

"Wow." Reid gasped. "You really love her."

"You have no idea." Derek smiled. He suddenly noticed a movement behind them and turned around just to see Penelope standing there, tears in her eyes. How much of the conversation had she heard? Was she pissed because he'd told Reid about her brothers?

All his worries disappeared when Penelope smiled, took the seat next to him and snuggled up against him.

A few minutes through the movie he felt her raising her head to look at him. "Thank you" she whispered, "for… everything you said."

"I meant it." Derek softly assured.

"I know." she nodded and pulled him closer. "I know."

Derek gently cupped her face with his hands and kissed her deeply. Soon they completely forgot about the movie.

Reid poked JJ's side and grinned down at her when she raised her head from where it had been resting against his shoulder.

She looked over to the couple next to them and grinned back at Reid.

"I'd say it works well." he chuckled.

"I think you hit the nail on the head once again." JJ giggled and leaned her head back against his shoulder.

Penelope and Derek forgot about the movie, about JJ and Reid next to them – and about everyone else in the room. They didn't break apart until the lights were turned back on.

"What about dinner?" Derek suggested nonchalantly. Since Reid and JJ had invited them to the movie it was only fair to invite them for dinner.

"Good idea." Penelope nodded and smiled at him.

"Did you like the movie?" JJ asked while they were waiting for their meals.

"Actually" Penelope blushed a little but grinned at Derek nonetheless, "I have no idea what it was about."

"Me neither." he chuckled and leaned over to kiss her.

"Hey" JJ scolded, "as much as I like the fact that you're an item and actually behaving like you are you shouldn't overdo it."

"Jealous you didn't miss the movie because you were kissing the whole time?" Derek grinned at her and glanced at Reid whose cheeks turned bright red.

"Who says I didn't." JJ shrugged which made the color of Reid's cheeks match the tomato sauce on his freshly served Spaghetti.

"Oh, come on, you and Reid?" Penelope giggled. "Never."

"He's just too much of a gentleman to ravish me like this." JJ put her best friend off.

"Well, we've already moved on from the state of gentleman-like behavior." Derek grinned.

"Yeah, we could see that." JJ giggled. "And hear it, by the way."

"Oh, really?" Derek countered. "I thought it was drowned out by all the moaning from your seat." His voice became an octave higher and he mock-moaned: "Oh, Reid, that's so good!"

Penelope and JJ burst out laughing and Reid couldn't help but join them. Derek just smiled at the beautiful woman next to him. She was bubbling over with laughter and that sound together with the sight of her desperately trying to catch her breath while laughing so hard that it brought tears to her eyes was so adorable to him that he simply enjoyed the moment.

He loved to see her laugh, light-hearted and happy as if nothing bad had ever happened to her. And to know that he could make her laugh like that was somehow soothing. He could heal her, just like she had healed him.

"As much as I enjoyed this evening, I fear we have to call it a night." Derek stated anytime around eleven p.m. "Our plane takes off at eight tomorrow."

Penelope nodded and handed Derek his jacket with an inviting smile. This evening had been pure heaven, especially the one and a half hour kissing throughout the movie – and Penelope definitely didn't want to do without lying in his arms tonight. Plus, it was much easier if they headed for the airport together the next day.

Derek immediately understood. Grinning he followed her out of the restaurant and to her car. He couldn't help but hope that her invitation over to her place meant a little more kissing and petting today – just like last night. He smiled at this memory. It had been more than the usual cuddling and it had felt really good.

He didn't even think of offering to spend the night on her couch. When Penelope returned from the bathroom, Derek was already laying in her bed grinning from ear to ear.

Smiling she slid under the blanket, snuggled up close against him and leaned down to kiss him passionately.


	12. Chapter 12

Derek smiled at the X-rated images that sentence produced in his minds

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 12

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** we're at the more fluffy part now :)

**AN: **_Again I'm very sorry for the delay of updating the story. It's getting rather worse than better, I know. I was really ill for quite a while as well as busy writing for a few challenges._

_Anyway, thanks to all of you for the wonderful reviews I received. I already know that there will be at least three more chapters but I'm not sure when I'll manage to write them. But I'll do my very best! :)_

_And now enjoy!_

"My sisters came up with a master plan for mom's surprise party tonight." Derek rolled his eyes and put his cell phone away. "You know, she always wanted a huge party with the whole family, but she could never afford it. That's why it's our birthday present this year and now I'm supposed to take mom out for shopping to distract her a little, buy her a new dress."

"I could do that." Penelope offered. "I know how to distract people."

"You don't say." he chuckled. "But I fear that's my job. My sisters won't let me help them in the kitchen. They say I'm neither an expert in cooking nor in decorating."

"Why don't you have it catered?" she wanted to know.

"Because we can't afford that." Derek sighed. "Do you have any idea what catering for about fifty people costs? It was already pretty expensive to pay for all the drinks. We already ordered all the food and Des and Sarah are going to pick it up before they come here. It's going to be another two hundred dollars."

Penelope thought about it for a second before she said: "I think I have an idea!"

"Sugar muffin, we already ordered the food." Derek told her. "There's no way they're going to take it back."

"Yeah, I know that." Penelope nodded. "And they don't need to. Never mind, let me take care of it."

"Baby girl?" Derek raised an eyebrow at her.

"Just trust me." she smiled and rang the doorbell. "All it takes are a few phone calls."

Derek didn't know what to make out of her words. But he didn't have the time to ask further questions because his mother was already answering the door.

"Oh, I'm so glad you managed to come over!" Fran smiled and hugged first her son and then Penelope. "Come in, I want to hear everything about your camping trip!"

"Happy birthday, Fran." Penelope said shyly. She still didn't feel exactly comfortable calling Derek's mother by her first name.

"Happy birthday, mom." Derek smiled. "You're in an exceptionally good mood today."

"Yeah, I guess you're right about that." she chuckled. "It's my birthday and I'm glad to see my children and spend some time with them."

"Speaking of that" he grinned. "I want to take you out for a shopping trip. We're going to buy you a new dress together with shoes. That's our birthday present."

Fran's face lit up considerably: "You never invited me for a shopping trip before." Then she thought about it and frowned: "But… are you really sure you can afford that?"

"Don't worry about that." Penelope smiled while Derek put his arm around his mother's shoulders already leading her out of the house. "Money is not an issue."

"Why do I have the impression that you just want to have me out of the house?" Fran frowned at him and glanced over her shoulder at Penelope who just shrugged innocently.

"I have no idea." Derek replied and winked at his favorite girl.

"Derek, what's going on here?" Fran asked in the most motherly tone she could manage already halfway out of the door.

He just grinned: "Didn't you want to hear everything about our camping trip?"

Fran tried to be as patient as possible even though she was dying to know what was going on in her house while Derek took her to one clothes shop after the other. He didn't even seem to get tired of the shopping.

"I don't know." Derek frowned a few hours later and examined his mother's new outfit. "I think I liked the blue dress better. Can you try it on again? Just to have the comparison, you know."

"Derek, this is already the fifth dress I tried on." she sighed. "Not to mention the three other shops you took me to. We've been shopping for hours now and you know that I have a lot to prepare for our party tonight."

"Okay, I'll let you make the decision." Derek smiled. "Which dress did you like best?"

She sighed again. "The blue one – and I'm rather sure you know that."

With an innocent shrug Derek got up from the chair and took the dress from his mother. "I'm going to pay. Get dressed, we still need shoes!"

Fran just rolled her eyes as she stepped back inside the cubicle. Her children were definitely up to something. If only she knew what it was! Why wasn't she allowed to be at home with them? Were they cooking something special? Was it going to be a surprise party? Fran would surely die of curiosity if she didn't find out anytime soon!

"Hey, baby girl." Derek greeted in a low voice while he handed the salesgirl his credit card. "How's it going?"

"I'd say very well." she replied good-humoredly.

"She's unbelievable!" Derek heard Sarah exclaim in the background and figured that Penelope had put him on speaker.

"You don't need to tell me, sis." he smiled to himself. "Are the three of you going to let me in on your plan?"

"We have a catering team tonight." Des informed him happily. "A complete menu and even a bunch of waitresses. And we even have a band."

"How much is that going to cost us?" Derek frowned.

"That's the best thing about it!" Sarah giggled. "Nothing!"

Derek's jaw dropped: "Say that again!"

"Nada, niente, rien." Sarah repeated.

"Let me guess, goddess." Derek said suspiciously immediately feeling a familiar anger rising in his chest. "A friend owed you a favor and he happens to have a catering service?"

"SHE, my gorgeous chauvinist, said if I ever needed a catering service I could call her."

"What about the band?" he couldn't help but smile at the nickname and her flirtatious tone.

"Professional secret, my chocolate Adonis." she chuckled.

"And what did you do with all the food we'd already ordered?" he wanted to know.

"They're using it." Sarah answered. "You should see our living room, there's a huge buffet and they even did all the decorating. Mom's gonna love this!"

"Great." Derek smiled happily. "We've just found a new dress for her. The next thing is shoes. I guess that should buy us some time."

"You better get used to that 'cause I'm definitely going to take you on my next shopping trip." Penelope giggled.

"Only if you let me take you to another movie afterwards." he chuckled.

"Talk to you later!" Penelope ended the call before he could tell his sisters about the last time they went to the movies. But Derek was pretty sure they'd make her talk anyway.

"Are you ready?" Derek heard his mother's voice behind him sounding a little impatiently. "I don't want to waste anymore time."

"We have plenty of time, mom." he chuckled, put his arm around her shoulder once more and led her towards the exit. "We still have to buy you a pair of shoes that goes with your new dress."

"You're lucky" she grinned, "I already have the perfect pair of shoes in mind. The shop is right opposite the street."

"Good." Derek grinned back at her. "Because it means that we have plenty of time to have coffee and some ice cream."

Derek had to admit that it was a lot of fun being on a shopping trip with his mother. Having grown up with two elder sisters and a single mom Derek could only remember very few moments he'd spent alone with his mother.

"So you had a lot of fun." Fran summed up what Derek had just told her about the four days of camping and smiled at him over the rim of her coffee cup.

"I can't remember the last time I enjoyed anything so much." he nodded. "We really grew closer together and I think it made Penelope feel comfortable with the thought of us being an item. I mean, yesterday JJ and Reid invited us to see a movie and… well, we missed everything after the first ten minutes or so."

"As I told you, Penelope just needed a little time to get used to the new situation." Fran replied. "You've been friends for a very long time and I'm sure she didn't want to risk that."

"Yeah, I had the same worries." Derek admitted. "But eventually I came to the conclusion that what we could have is much better than what we already had, you know."

"And I'm sure Penelope feels the same way." she assured him. "You did good in wooing her and showing her that you really love her."

"Somehow I have the impression that she never doubted that." he mumbled.

Fran raised an eyebrow at her son. "What do you mean?"

"Well, we talked a lot over the past four days and… she admitted that her greatest doubt is that I don't find her attractive." he sighed and thought about it for a moment. "I tried to… prove it somehow and I think she knows that I love to watch her. But still…"

"She has a surprisingly high lack of confidence concerning her looks." Fran affirmed. "She tries to cover it by calling herself beautiful and brilliant. But it seems deep inside she doesn't believe that she is."

"I know." he sighed. "I first realized it when she told me about that guy she met, the one who shot her. I sometimes even think she was more confident than was good for her but the whole time it was only an act."

Fran nodded: "I think she wants everyone around her to think of her as strong and independent and confident. She doesn't want anyone to know how she really feels and I understand that. It's not easy for her to let anyone in."

"Her parents died when she was eighteen." Derek told his mother. "And she broke contact with her brothers for a very good reason. In the years we've known each other she has only been on a few dates and after Battle shot her… I just wish I could make her feel secure."

"You can" Fran assured him, "and you already have as far as I can tell."

"I don't know." Derek sighed. "I just wish she could see herself the way I see her. In a way we're quite similar, I never wanted to let anyone in either. But everything is so much different with Penelope and I know I'll never want to be with any other woman but her. I stopped dating other women a while ago but it took me very long time to figure out why. Then I realized they were simply not Penelope. She's all I ever wanted."

"I know." she smiled. "It's pretty obvious for me – and for your sisters as well. But you think that Penelope still doubts it?"

Derek just sighed. "I don't know."

"Maybe this isn't about you." Fran shrugged. "Maybe she's sure about your feelings and maybe she knows that you find her attractive."

This time he just raised both his eyebrows at her.

"Maybe she knows that you want her but she just can't believe it." she shrugged.

"Because she thinks she isn't worth it." Derek nodded as if to show he considered it possible. "Or maybe she's… I don't know… afraid of this relationship."

"I don't think so." Fran frowned. "But I think in a way she might be maybe not afraid but a little apprehensive. "

"About what?" Derek asked puzzled.

"Your relationship worked well before because you have a lot in common and you definitely have a special… let's say chemistry." Fran tried to explain. "That didn't change much after your first kiss, did it? But once your relationship becomes physical that will change a lot. Moreover, from what she told me I would guess it's been quite a while since she had her last boyfriend. I'd be at least a little nervous in her place."

"Oh" he said in a low voice, "I… never thought about that."

"I know." Fran softly replied. Then she took a look at her watch and asked a little impatiently: "Can we finally go home? It's already past four."

Checking his own watch Derek nodded: "Sure, let's go."

Of course, it wasn't easy to convince his mother to take the back door. But eventually she gave in to her son and let him lead her to the kitchen and then to her room. They were definitely up to something, otherwise they would have let her see the living room.

"Where's Penelope?" Derek wanted to know when he only found his two sisters in the kitchen.

"Upstairs in your room." Des replied. "She got a call."

Nodding Derek hurried up the stairs just to find Penelope hanging up her phone.

"Oh, hey, you're back." she smiled.

"Yeah, just this second." Derek smiled and stepped closer to steal a kiss from his girl. "Who was that?" he asked and pointed his head towards the cell phone in her hand.

"Kevin." she replied.

"Lynch." Derek snorted.

"Oh, come on, he's a nice guy." Penelope frowned at him.

"Yeah, maybe." Derek was almost breathing fire. "But he calls you a lot, don't you think?"

"He just had a problem gaining access to my…" her voice trailed off and her eyes widened. "Wait a minute. Are you jealous?"

He knew Penelope had never given him a reason to be but still… "I just don't like that guy."

"You're jealous." she stated. "Wow." Penelope sank back down on the bed to think about it. Derek was jealous which meant he was afraid of losing her.

Derek could have kicked himself. He shouldn't have reacted like that about the people Penelope liked. "Baby girl, I'm sorry." he murmured. "I know I don't really have a right to…"

"Why…" she interrupted him in a low voice, "why are you jealous of Kevin Lynch?"

"Well, you and him have a lot more in common." he mumbled. "I mean, he's almost as smart as you are and he understands when you're talking about all that computer stuff."

"And you think I want to talk about that all day?" she smiled. "And why do you think he's smarter than you are? You graduated from law school and you're one of the best profilers in the world."

"I graduated thanks to a full-ride football scholarship." Derek reminded her. "And I'm not better than any other profiler. Well, maybe a few."

"Of course, you are." Penelope objected. "You're at least as smart as every other member of the team – well, okay, maybe except our genius but I'd guess there're only about ten people in the world who're as smart as Reid. And you're the best profiler in your field, not to mention the hottest. Otherwise Hotch wouldn't have chosen you for his team. You shouldn't belittle yourself so… oh." she stopped and smiled a little sheepishly.

Derek stepped over to her, pulled her to her feet and wrapped both arms around her waist. "We all have moments where we doubt ourselves and we all are insecure at times, baby girl."

"Yeah, I got the message." she smiled and leaned up to kiss him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Derek grinned and kissed her again. When he pulled back he gave her a serious look and said: "But would you do me a favor, goddess?"

"Whatever you want, sweetness." she replied and kissed him again before he could continue.

"Next time Lynch calls you, let me pick up your phone." When Penelope gave him a quizzical look Derek shrugged: "I just want to remind him that you're completely taken – and that this is not going to change anytime soon."


	13. Chapter 13

Derek smiled at the X-rated images that sentence produced in his minds

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 13

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** Fluff, fluff and… oh, yeah, more fluff. :)

It was about time for the big surprise party. Des had brought Fran to the kitchen where Derek and Sarah were already waiting and made some tea. They were all a little nervous about what their mother was going to say and Fran could definitely sense that.

They had agreed on meeting at six in the kitchen. However, about ten minutes before six Derek couldn't stand his mother's questions and the tensed atmosphere any longer. So he decided to check on Penelope. She should be ready by now, she never had problems figuring out what to wear and never needed more than ten minutes or so to get ready. She probably just didn't want to show up too early.

Derek forgot to knock when he opened the door and could have kicked himself for that when he saw Penelope standing in his room shirtless obviously trying to opt for one of the shirts she'd spread out on his bed.

"Sorry, Penelope!" he exclaimed and turned to the door repressing the urge of just staring at her. "I didn't mean to… I should have knocked."

He was already halfway out of the door when he heard her low voice say: "No… It's… It's okay. Actually, you could… help me chose a shirt."

Slowly Derek turned around and looked at her. "Are you sure?"

Her heart was pounding like mad. What would he think… seeing her like this? Without a shirt that covered most of her… curves. She felt uncomfortable and nervous. But she didn't follow the instinct to curl up and hide in the nearest corner so he couldn't see her. If she ever wanted to let him in and let their relationship develop she had to overcome her unease of undressing in front of him. So she nodded.

Derek stepped closer until he stood behind her.

"I just… can't decide on a shirt." she said, her voice barely above a whisper. She still couldn't imagine that Derek might like what he saw. He'd probably never seen someone… her size shirtless. What did he think about her now? Did he still want her, want to be with her?

"You'll look good in any of these shirts." he smiled, his voice soft and low in an attempt to make her feel safe. But he noticed the tension in her body so he carefully placed both his hands on her shoulders and kneaded them gently.

Penelope shivered under his soft touch and closed her eyes for a moment. "I'm serious, Derek." she finally managed to say. "I don't know what to wear."

"I thought that never happens to you." he whispered and looked up and down her bare back. She was so incredibly beautiful and he knew he wouldn't be able to repress the urge to touch her forever. After all he was just a man standing jeopardously close to the girl he so desperately wanted.

"Hardly ever." she affirmed. "But it happens."

God, she was so dazzling and she smelled so good. Carefully Derek leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on the back of her neck. Her skin smelled of the vanilla shampoo she always used.

Her knees immediately turned into jelly the moment his mouth met her neck. His breath was hot against her skin and his lips were so soft and gentle. She felt herself shiver.

Derek couldn't stop himself before he leaned forward again and nibbled on a spot between her shoulder blades. Then he carefully traced the spot with his tongue. Damn, she tasted even better than she smelled. Her skin was so soft and sweet and delicate.

"Oh." Penelope sighed and her eyes fluttered shut. She was sure her legs wouldn't be able to hold her body upright much longer.

"Shall I stop?" Derek asked in a low voice.

"N… No" she stuttered. "D… Don't… stop!"

Smiling he started to spread soft kisses all over her back, up and down her spine in a way that made her shiver all over again. His heart leapt with joy when he noticed her reaction to his touch, the hairs on her neck rose and she sighed once again. "You're so sweet, baby girl." he whispered. "So beautiful… so perfect."

Penelope felt herself melt under his touch and his compliments. He obviously liked what he saw – and he obviously wanted more than just to see her. Her heart pounded so fast that she was sure it was dangerously close to ventricular fibrillation.

Derek worked his way back up her spine and grinned when she tilted her head so that he could reach her neck. He leaned in and started to nibble on the soft flesh drawing a low moan from her lips. Her head sank back against his shoulder and Derek felt his whole body jerk in response.

Her soft fragrant hair tickled his cheek and her skin was hot and flushed from his kisses. Derek wrapped both his arms around her middle and pulled her as close as humanly possible when a knock at the door startled them.

"Derek? Penelope?" they heard Sarah's voice. "We're ready."

"We'll be there in a minute." Derek answered for both of them and pointed at a red shirt. "I'd like to see you in this one. Underlines all your assets."

"Sexist." she giggled relieved that he'd managed to conceal the awkwardness of the situation.

"Most definitely." Derek chuckled, watched her put on the shirt and kissed her deeply before they both headed for the kitchen. But for the rest of the evening he couldn't stop wondering what would have happened if Sarah hadn't interrupted them.

Fran's eyes almost popped out of her head and were filled with tears of joy when she saw the nicely decorated living room filled with a bunch of people shouting 'Surprise!' and a huge buffet. Soon she was surrounded by members of her own family, the family of Derek's father and a few close friends some of whom she hadn't seen in about twenty years.

"Derek!" Penelope heard an elder woman shriek.

"Oh, oh." Derek mumbled. "Cringe-making aunt at three, mom's sister-in-law."

Penelope just giggled as she watched the woman sashay closer.

"Derek, sweetie!" the woman shrieked and pinched Derek's cheek in the only-mean-aunts-and-grandmas-would-do-that way.

"Hey, aunt Mary." he gave her the most honest smile he could manage.

"Oh, and who's that pretty little girl by your side?" she squealed and for a moment Penelope was afraid she was the next to be pinched.

"Penelope Garcia." she quickly introduced herself and put out her hand.

Aunt Mary shook Penelope's hand a little vigorously and opened her mouth to screech something again when a young, tall and breathtakingly handsome guy stepped pretty much in front of her. Handsomeness was obviously part of the Morgan-DNA. The man grinned: "Hey, Derek, old man. How're you doing?"

When his eyes fell upon Penelope his face got a strange expression and he took her hand to place a gentle kiss on the back of it. "And who is this beauty next to you?" he breathed and smiled at her.

"Penelope… Garcia." she repeated. "I'm…"

"Certainly the most beautiful woman in this room." he smiled. Obviously soft-soaping was part of their DNA as well.

Derek wanted to interfere but aunt Mary pulled him away – as Penelope heard from her shrieking a cousin desperately wanted to see him again after 'way too many years'.

"Finally alone." the man smiled at her. "Forgive me, I was so stunned by your beauty that I forgot to introduce myself. Andrew, Andrew Walker. My friends call me Andy."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Walker." Penelope forced herself to smile and mumbled. "At least I guess so."

"Ah, don't be so formal!" he chuckled, put an arm around her shoulders and led her towards the small dance floor they had created in the living room. "Come on, Penny, dance with me!"

"Don't call me Penny." she grumbled.

Unfortunately, being a good dancer didn't seem to be part of the Morgan-DNA. Or Derek's cousin simply missed the spreading of it.

Fortunately, after two and a half songs Derek came for her rescue. Smiling he took Penelope's hand and pulled her close to him even before he softly asked: "May I have this dance, my sweet lady?"

"Gladly." she sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder as he swayed her around to the first chords of Bryan Adams's 'Have you ever really loved a woman'.

But he put a hand under her chin to make her look up and leaned down to kiss her a bit too passionately for a kiss in public.

"What was that?" Penelope asked and blushed a little.

"I'm just showing off a little that you're taken." he chuckled.

"So that ANDY understands that I'm yours?" she smiled mischievously.

"You're not anyone's possession, baby girl, most certainly not mine." he smiled and tenderly kissed her cheek. "Nonetheless, you are definitely taken and I don't want to leave any doubt about that."

"Hm, you know how to treat a woman." she purred and leaned her head back against his shoulder. "In marked contrast to your cousin."

"Did he bother you?" Derek asked, concern and anger resonating in his voice. "Because if he did I could beat him up, you know."

"I don't think that's necessary." she giggled. "Just don't leave me alone with him again."

"I'm not going to leave you alone with any man ever again." he chuckled. "You're simply too hot to do that."

"Flatterer." she smiled and closed her eyes happily. She was definitely in heaven. She had the perfect boyfriend. He was sweet and caring and hot and lovely – but most of all, he was jealous of other men in her life which meant that he didn't want to lose her.

"You picked that song for a reason, didn't you?" Des asked and pointed her head towards the couple who was dancing closer than she'd considered possible.

"Yeah, but I don't think they are paying attention to the lyrics." Fran chuckled.

"I bet if they were Derek would freak out at the line with the unborn children." Sarah giggled.

With a knowing smile on her face Fran shrugged: "I wouldn't be too sure about that."

When the song was over Derek led Penelope to his mother and sisters and grinned: "Well, birthday girl, how do you like our little surprise?"

"This is the best party I ever had." Fran smiled, tears springing to her eyes again, and hugged the four initiators once more. "I knew you were up to something but this is… Thank you!"

"Actually, Penelope did most of the work." Des informed her mother with a wide grin on her face.

"That's not true." she quickly objected. "I mean, I just made a couple of phone calls."

"By the way, you haven't told me yet where you know this band from." Derek reminded her and pointed his thumb at the four guys who were now playing 'Jail House Rock'.

"Um… you know… I…" Penelope muttered and suddenly she froze when the lead singer announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, about ten years ago we were supported by a beautiful young lady with an even more beautiful voice. This is one of her favorite songs."

And then she heard the first chords of 'A whiter shade of pale' which definitely was her favorite song – and unfortunately a quite difficult one. This wasn't going to end well.

"Come on up here, Penelope!" the lead singer grinned.

Slowly she turned around and walked towards the very improvised stage. She took the microphone with slightly shaking hands and announced: "I fear I'm a bit out of practice." She gave everyone in the room a shy smile, took a deep breath, closed her eyes to forget about the fact that there were fifty people in this room now staring at her – one of them being Derek – and started to sing.

She had to admit that it didn't sound as bad as she'd expected so she decided to sing a little louder. When the chorus started she even dared to open her eyes again and she figured her singing really wasn't that bad when she saw that almost every jaw in the room had hit the floor. Only Derek was grinning a little mischievously and Penelope wondered if he was up to something.

When the song was over everyone applauded and Penelope sighed with relief. She'd been sure she would make a complete fool of herself. But the relief was over pretty soon when Derek suddenly rushed over to her and grabbed another microphone.

"I'm pretty sure none of you would have thought of that but Penelope and I have been singing in a choir for quite a while now. However, we never had the chance to sing a duet so far which is really a pity. Any preferences?"

The question was clearly posed to Penelope but Des answered nonetheless and shouted: "Sexy love!"

"Thank you, sis." Derek grumbled then he leaned over to Penelope and whispered: "You know the lyrics, baby girl?"

She just nodded.

And there she was, in one of her worst nightmares: Standing on a stage in front of a crowd of people who knew her forced to sing a love song with Derek. And she had to admit that it was a whole lot of fun. The song was simply made for them and they didn't skimp on lecherous looks and flirtatious touches throughout the whole song.

Des and Sarah just grinned at the couple as well as at each other.

Luckily, after this duet Penelope and Derek were allowed to leave the stage again – amid the applause of the crowd.

The next song the band played was 'You're beautiful' by James Blunt and Derek leaned down to whisper into Penelope's ear: "Do you think they want to tell us something with all the songs they picked?"

"Who, the band?" she asked and looked up at him. "I don't think so."

"I was rather thinking about my mom and my very conspiratorial sisters." he replied and darted a look at them to let them know he knew that they were watching.

Penelope giggled. "To be honest, I don't care. It's too much fun to dance with you and it was a lot of fun to sing with you. Moreover, we're too close to leave a remarkable amount of brain cells working at the moment. I'll worry about the message later." she leaned her head back against his shoulder and whispered in the crook of his neck: "Much later."

"You know, I was never fond of big family parties." Derek mumbled and buried his face in her hair deeply taking in the sweet scent of it. "But I'm definitely enjoying this one."

"Well, I hope it's because of me and not because of aunt Mary." Penelope said playfully.

Derek chuckled and breathed into her ear. "It's all because of you, baby girl, you and only you."

The sound of his voice together with his hot breath in her ear sent a pleasurable shiver down her spine and she gasped: "You know, you shouldn't do this 'cause I don't think that's dancing anymore."

"Of course, it is." Derek grinned and pulled her a little closer. "Or what would you call that?"

"Naughty." she whispered. "I mean, honestly, only our clothes are keeping us from actually having sex. I don't think that's a proper way to dance in front of your whole family."

"You know, I thought about this." he said in a low voice. "As I said I'm glad that we waited."

Penelope felt a tension running through her body. This was the moment of the big BUT, the moment she'd feared the whole time. She could understand that he'd thought about this after what had happened – or at least almost happened – in his room tonight. But why did he have to discuss that now?

She was even more surprised when she heard Derek say: "I think almost everyone – myself included so far – puts too much pressure on the whole sex thing and by that on themselves. I mean, people tend to rush with that."

"What… do you mean?" she asked a little puzzled.

"Well" he shrugged, "maybe the rule no sex before marriage isn't all that bad."

Her head snapped up and she stared at him almost in shock. "Okay, who are you and what have you done to Derek Morgan?"

"No, seriously." he chuckled. "I like the way our relationship is developing every day. So why not wait until we're married one day."

She grimaced and put her head back into the more comfortable position it had been in before. "I don't think I want to wait THAT long."

Derek was grinning like mad. She hadn't said she wouldn't marry him. In fact, her answer sounded more like she could imagine it. It was official, he was in heaven.


	14. Chapter 14

Derek smiled at the X-rated images that sentence produced in his minds

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 14

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** we're at the more fluffy part now :)

"So, the two of you are singing in a choir." Des grinned. "I never knew my baby brother could sing at all."

"Just because I don't do it doesn't mean I can't do it." he grumbled.

"It's a church gospel choir." Penelope smiled. "And Derek was made one of the leading voices right away. He's great, well, as you could hear."

"Mom seems to be really enjoying the party." Derek changed the topic and pointed his head towards the elder woman who was now dancing with one of her brothers-in-law. "I haven't seen her laughing so much in… well, actually I can't even remember the last time I saw her laughing so much."

"And all that wouldn't have been possible without your help." Sarah smiled at Penelope.

"No… I" she blushed a little. "I didn't really do anything. I mean, I just happen to have a friend here and there…"

"You have friends everywhere." Derek grinned and leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Which is no wonder to me." he whispered as he pulled back.

"So, Penelope, you've never been to Chicago before?" Des suddenly asked and smiled at the blonde woman across of her.

Penelope shook her head giving her a quizzical look.

Derek frowned at his sister: "What are you up to?"

"Well, you're going to fly back to Quantico around six p.m. on Sunday, right?" she shrugged. "That means we still have one and a half days left together and Penelope helped us so much that we, Sarah and me, thought we could say thank you. So we decided to show our guest the sights of Chicago. The Brookfield zoo, the Planetarium, stuff like that."

"Oh, I would love to see that." Penelope agreed quickly.

"Great." Derek smiled and put an arm around her. "Plus, I haven't made a sight-seeing trip through Chicago with my sisters since I was a kid."

Around two a.m. the last guests left – Andy being one of them. He hugged Penelope goodbye, just a little too tight, a little too long and his hands a little too far down her back which drew a low grumble from somewhere deep in Derek's throat.

"Jealous?" Sarah teased and giggled.

"Just one inch and he'd be groping her." Derek snorted.

This caused Sarah to giggle even more.

When Andy finally let go of Penelope, Derek took a quick step forward and wrapped his arm around her middle pulling her tight against him. "Bye, Andy." he grumbled.

"Once we're back at Quantico I could put him on the list of America's most wanted if you like." Penelope whispered.

Derek stared at her for a good ten seconds. Then he chuckled: "If he ever touches you like this again he'll end up on the list of unsolved homicides."

"You shouldn't threaten someone like that." she giggled as they walked up the stairs to his room. "Especially not members of your own family. You know, it makes you a suspect if there's a connection to the victim."

"Yeah, but if the body's never found there won't even be a case." he reminded her. "No body, no case. No case, no suspect. And I happen to know some places where I could dump him and he wouldn't be found for about twelve thousand years or so."

"How long exactly have you already planned the perfect murder?" she asked playfully.

Derek grinned at her: "Since the day I met you. There were several guys I wanted to sweep out of the way over the years – Lynch leading the way."

Penelope poked his ribs and scolded: "You should really learn to at least accept other men in my life."

"Not if they want to lay you." he chuckled.

Penelope stemmed her hands on her hips and frowned. "So you think I'm so stupid to let them have what they want?"

Derek was startled and gave her a quizzical look that soon turned into a concerned frown. "No… No, baby girl, I… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"Relax" she grinned, "I was just kidding."

"You are mean." he grumbled but sighed with relief and smirked at her.

"Would you really want me any different?" she teased.

"No." grinning he hurried over to her, caught her in his arms and kissed her deeply. "Except… a little less clothing would be nice."

"Derek!" she almost shrieked. "We're in your mother's house – your sisters are sleeping right next door."

"I'm just saying." he shrugged and gently nibbled her neck. "I don't like to go to bed without a little more cuddling… and kissing…"

"Hm… me neither." Penelope whispered and tilted her head so that he could reach that special spot on her neck. God, she felt like she was going to explode any second.

"Well, then, come to bed and cuddle with me!" Derek smiled pulling her with him.

"I'd like to take a shower first." Penelope giggled.

"But then you'll cuddle with me?" he asked the cutest puppy dog look on his face Penelope had ever seen.

Smiling she sashayed over to him and gave him a deep, soulful kiss. "Promised." she whispered.

Only twenty minutes later they were both laying on the bed, facing each other. They talked for a while about the evening and Penelope was excited about the planned sight-seeing trip the next day questioning Derek about what they could probably visit.

Derek ran his hand up and down her arm while they talked and Penelope drew invisible patterns on his chest until he simply didn't want to wait any longer and pulled her closer for another passionate kissing and cuddling. He could definitely get used to this.

Well, actually he already was so used to their cuddling at night that he didn't like imagining being on a case and forced to spend the night miles away from her. But it also meant that now he had yet another reason to hurry catching the bad guys – and something to look forward to when he came home.

They didn't sleep very much that night but neither of them cared. And neither of them was really tired the next day.

Derek, Penelope, Des and Sarah started out at the 'Amazing Chicago's Funhouse Maze' which was definitely a great idea to start the day and to start exploring Chicago. They navigated through the maze without much effort since Derek and his two sisters had been there before – when they'd been children though.

They had a whole lot of fun walking through the mirrors laughing at the deformed images staring back at them and they started chasing each other around like little children causing the other visitors to stare at them as if they were from outer space.

"Last time we did that I was about eight." Derek smiled a little breathlessly and put his arm around Penelope's shoulder. "We were here with our parents. That was great."

"Yeah, that was one of our rare family getaways." Des sighed. "We couldn't afford that very often but I guess that's why it was always something very special."

"We never did anything like that." Penelope replied. "I don't even know if my parents could have afforded it but with five children I guess it wasn't that easy. Anyway, our only family getaways were camping trips."

"I bet they're more fun with your boyfriend than your family." Sarah giggled and waggled her eyebrows at the couple.

"I hope so." Derek grinned.

When they reached the 'Underground Chicago' maze Penelope's jaw dropped. It was an amazing image of tunnels with high white pillars ending in round arcs made of red bricks. Des and Sarah went first while Derek and Penelope fell behind a little. Suddenly Derek took her hand and pulled her into a corner hidden from the view of the other visitors. Grinning he leaned down to capture her lips with his.

"Enjoying the day, baby girl?" he whispered as he leaned down to nibble on her neck.

"Hmm." she purred. "More with every second."

"You know, I was thinking about something." he mumbled in the crook of her neck.

Penelope wasn't really listening all wrapped up in the sensations his kisses sent through her body. "'Bout what?" she gasped.

"The four days of camping" he explained between soft kisses, "and the time we spent with my family were just great. So… I thought that maybe we could… go on a holiday… together."

Her head shot up and she stared at him tears springing to her eyes. "That would be great." she whispered.

Smiling Derek leaned down to give her another breathtaking kiss.

"Aw, now that was actually not how I planned this day." Des giggled.

Penelope blushed but Derek put an arm around her and grinned at his sister: "But that's the way I planned it."

Giggling again Des commanded: "Come on, we wanna go to the Planetarium. There're even darker corners in there."

Their first stop was an animated 3D-show about the landing of Apollo 11 on the moon and afterwards they attended a lecture 3D-show about Black Holes.

"That was just great!" Penelope gushed. "Reid would have loved this."

"Yeah, especially the scene where you had the impression you were falling into a black hole." Derek chuckled. "And I'm sure he would have given lectures about the mistakes or contradicting scientific theories throughout the whole show."

"Maybe he would have told us something about the theory that the moon landing never took place and it's all a big conspiracy." Penelope giggled.

"You really have to bring him with you next time." Des mumbled. "He's a cutie."

"No way, sis!" Derek objected. "He's only twenty-five – and I'm rather sure he can't match up to you – or any of the Morgan-women."

"Okay, we're gonna have lunch in Galileo's Café and afterwards we'll visit the Sky Theater." Sarah explained while they already headed for the mentioned café.

Penelope was stunned when she entered the café and the first thing she saw was the skyline of Chicago. "Wow." she whispered as she stepped closer to one of the windows.

"Pretty impressive, isn't it?" Derek smiled and wrapped his arm around her waist. "You should see that by night when they have the fireworks on the Navy Pier. That's impressive!"

"Can we go and see it?" she asked excitedly. "One day, I mean… not necessarily today. I just… I would really like to see that."

"And you will, I promise." he nodded and pecked her temple. "I'll show you everything you want to see."

Penelope shivered at the ambiguity of his words. She shook those thoughts off and grinned at him: "Well, then let's start with some lunch, I'm starving!"

"You know, I can't remember the last time we spent so much time with each other." Des said a slight hint of blame in her voice and pointed her fork at her brother.

"Yeah, I know." Derek smiled. "Work's keeping me busy."

"Not at the moment, apparently." Sarah stated and raised an eyebrow at him giving him the typical interrogative glance only Morgan-women were capable of.

"Okay, you got me!" he laughed and raised his hands defensively. "I just couldn't stand all your questions anymore about if I was seeing anyone, who it was and when I was going to introduce her to you."

"So, now you don't care about these questions anymore?" Des asked innocently and winked at her sister.

"No." Derek grinned, took Penelope's hand and placed a gentle kiss on the back of it. Then he turned to lock eyes with her and added: "Because you don't need to ask me those questions anymore – never again."

Des and Sarah grinned widely at each other.

Their next stop was at the Sky Theater were they were provided with breathtaking pictures of constellations, fogs and many other objects of the universe. Penelope and Derek agreed that they should definitely invite Reid to a trip like that for his next birthday.

The last thing they did before they had to call it a day was to take a long walk through Millennium Park. Penelope and Derek were holding hands the whole time – causing his sisters to tease them a little about it.

But in the end they decided to let them have some time on their own and said they wanted to search for a rest room.

"Isn't it cute, he's totally whipped." Des giggled and looked at her sister through the mirror.

"Yeah" Sarah grinned refreshing her lipstick, "I thought he would never settle down with any woman. I mean, he's been a womanizer since he was about fifteen."

"Actually, I haven't seen him so happy and lighthearted since he was a kid." she sighed a little. "He'd always been so… I don't know. He could be cheerful and easy-going but it always seemed like an act."

"I know what you mean." Sarah nodded and leaned against the wall to directly look at her sister. "To be honest, I was very worried about him and so was mom. He had to grow up much too fast suddenly being the man in the house when he was only ten. And then what that sleaze Buford did to him…"

Des just nodded and drew in a deep breath.

"That's why I'm glad he found Penelope. It seems she's the one who could heal him and… lighten up his life so to speak." she smiled. "I bet he'll do anything to keep her."

"Do you think he's going to propose?" Des raised an eyebrow at her.

"I don't know." she shrugged handing her sister the lipstick. "But I wouldn't be surprised if he did."

Des eyed her suspiciously: "Do you know anything I don't?"

"No" she assured chuckling, "I'm just saying I can imagine he already bought a ring. He really loves her."

"That much is for sure." Des agreed. "And do you think she would except it?"

"Wouldn't be a surprise." she shrugged again. "Penelope really seems to have grown into this relationship."

"What do you mean?" she asked and handed Sarah the lipstick back.

"Did you notice that they were holding hands almost the whole day long?" Sarah smiled.

"Yeah, and I bet they're using the time they have for themselves now just the way they did in the maze." she giggled.

"Maybe we should interrupt them before they're arrested for indecency." Sarah held the door open for her giggling sister.


	15. Chapter 15

Derek smiled at the X-rated images that sentence produced in his minds

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 15

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** a little fluff – but not so fluffy towards the end

Penelope was a little sad when they had to call it a day to be home for dinner on time. It had been so much fun to spend the day with Derek and his sisters. She'd been alone for so long now that she'd almost forgotten how great it was to spend time with a family.

Fran had already prepared dinner when they came back and Penelope realized once more how much she missed her mother – and how good it felt to have someone who took care of her just as her mother used to.

"Okay, baby brother!" Sarah announced and grinned at him holding up the box of 'Clue'. "Now we're gonna find out if you as the big bad FBI agent that you are can beat us at catching the bad guy."

"Well, if you let me be in a team with the goddess of all knowledge that won't be a problem." he chuckled. "But if we're opponents I don't have a chance."

"No worries." Penelope smiled. "I'm not sure I can track the bad guy down if I'm not allowed to use my babies."

Fran, Des and Sarah raised their eyebrows at her.

"Oh, well, my computers." she explained. "They're… in a way like my babies. I love them. Strange, I know."

"You wouldn't be as outstanding in your job if you didn't." Derek shrugged.

"Well then, let's see if any of us can beat you at 'Clue'." Des giggled as Sarah prepared the game and dealt handing Derek, Penelope and Des four cards each and her mother and herself three.

Penelope looked at her cards. The hall, the pistol, the dining room and the ballroom. At least it should be easy to find out where the crime took place.

"So, Derek, what does the profile say about the killer?" Sarah asked playfully as she sat down at the table.

"I don't even have a crime scene nor a weapon." he shrugged. "And I don't know much about the victimology so it's impossible to give a profile. But the average serial killer for instance is a white male from a lower-to-middle-class background, usually in his twenties or thirties. So that's what we usually start from. However, given the fact that this is a game and you took the cards at random the chance that the killer is male is fifty per cent."

"You almost sound like Reid." Penelope giggled.

"Oh, my God." Derek put his hand over his mouth staring at her in mocked shock. "I knew it, the kid is infectious!"

Penelope laughed heartily and Derek joined in.

"You really have to bring him here next time you visit." Des grinned at them.

"Let's get started!" Derek frowned and took a look at his own cards. Mr. Green, the billiards, the study and the wrench. At least Des and Sarah couldn't tease him that he was the killer since Mr. Green was his own token.

"Penelope, you're the youngest of us." Sarah smiled. "That means you'll start."

"Okay." she nodded, threw the dice and moved her token into the dining room. Checking her cards once again she moved Derek's token and the pistol into the room. "I suggest the crime was committed by Mr. Green in the dining room with the pistol."

She had to ask each of her opponents until Derek showed her the card of Mr. Green and she crossed the name out on her notebook.

"Wow, you really got me worried your first guess might be right." Des smiled and sighed with relief.

"Do you know what the chance for that is given the possibilities of who, where and with what weapon?" Sarah shook her head to show that she found this statement rather ridiculous.

"I bet Reid could measure that in the blink of an eye." Derek grinned.

"324 to one." Penelope informed them.

Derek turned his head and gave her a surprised look.

"I'm sorry." she mumbled and looked down. "It's six times six times nine possibilities so… 324 to one."

"I didn't know you were a human calculator." he said giving her an appreciating smile.

"You know, I love my babies." Penelope shrugged. "But I don't like to rely on them too much."

"I would really like to see you and Reid in a mental math competition." he chuckled.

"He would win, no question about it." Penelope put him off.

"Okay, my turn." Sarah announced and threw the dice. "I suggest the crime was committed by Miss Scarlet in the library with the rope."

Des sitting next to her showed one of her cards to Sarah.

Derek and his sisters were still a little like children in a constant competition. They informed each other that they had a suspect or knew with what weapon or where the crime was committed.

"Have you played this game before?" Fran asked Penelope after a few minutes.

"Yeah, once when I was about sixteen with some friends of mine." she replied. "I'm more fond of online games – usually."

"You mean like… video games?" she asked.

"No, more like role play games." Penelope answered. "You know, playing a different character or sometimes even yourself. It's a lot of fun – unless you meet a serial killer who hacks your system and you put your whole family into danger."

"That was a mistake." Derek softly said. "Things like that happen to all of us – but it helped you track him down."

"I suggest the crime was committed by Mrs. White in the kitchen with the knife." Des announced to ease the tension and continue the game.

It took exactly two hours, twelve minutes and thirty-eight seconds until Penelope announced: "I accuse Mrs. Peacock of committing the crime in the conservatory with the candlestick."

Sarah handed her the envelope and Penelope took a brief look at the cards before she placed them on the table.

Derek grinned at her: "No killer has any chance to get away when you're after him."

"That was just good guessing." she smiled. "And a lot of luck."

"Are you okay, sweetness?" Derek asked a little concerned as they prepared to go to bed a little later. "You've been rather quiet since we came back."

"I'm sorry." she smiled at him. "I'm fine. I had just forgotten what it's like to have a family. I think I just have to get used to this feeling again."

"I bet it won't take you very long." he smiled and patted the bed next to him.

"You're making it really easy." she purred as she crawled into the bed next to him. "All of you." Grinning she leaned down to kiss him passionately.

Derek's hand slid behind her head to pull her closer and he gently turned them around so that they were both laying on their sides facing each other. But tonight the kissing seemed even more passionate to Derek, even more demanding than ever before. Again he started to run his hand up and down her arm and her soft hands gently stroked his muscular chest.

Penelope sighed, wrapped her leg around his waist and moved closer.

Carefully Derek touched her leg and was relieved when she didn't pull back. He shifted closer himself and desperately fought against the reactions of his body to the passionate kissing. But he couldn't stop the growl that came from somewhere deep in his throat. Her touch just felt so unbelievably good.

The sound Derek was making in reply to her touch sent a pleasurable shiver down Penelope's spine. She was the one who made him feel like that. Her touch had drawn this sound from him. She felt almost proud to have such an effect on him.

His hand moved slowly up her leg to her hip and then back down to her ankle. When Derek moved his hand up again he slightly brushed her shirt away and touched the soft skin underneath. He smiled when she shivered and after a few minutes he carefully let his hand move higher and the next second he gasped when he felt one of her hands sliding deeper.

"Baby girl?" he whispered pulling back to look at her. "Are you… sure you want this?"

She blushed deeply and looked down as she replied: "I… I just thought we could go a little farther. Like… taking the next step, you know."

Not exactly sure what that was supposed to mean Derek softly replied: "Whenever you say stop we will stop."

"Okay." she whispered and continued her exploration of his body smiling when she caused him to gasp or moan. She decided it couldn't hurt to let her want take over control. For the first time she acted without thinking. She didn't want to think about what was happening or where this was going. After all, they had both already thought way too much. Penelope just wanted and this time she wouldn't let this feeling scare her. She didn't plan to back off.

Carefully Derek let his hand move up her body cherishing the feeling of her soft skin that crawled under his touch.

Penelope broke the kiss and leaned her head against his forehead when her breathing sped up. She couldn't believe that this was happening, that she finally LET it happen.

After a while she moved her hand past his waistband and her heart started pounding like mad when his hand moved further down her body. She wasn't exactly sure where this was going but at the moment she didn't care she just wanted it to happen. His hands made her feel things she hadn't felt in a very long time. Maybe she'd never even felt like this before. Derek's touch sent her straight to heaven and she didn't want these feelings to end.

He pulled back a little when his hand reached his target, he simply had to watch her. Her eyes fluttered shut, she bit her lower lip and she looked so adorable. When her head flew back and she revealed as much of her throat as possible Derek couldn't resist.

He took the opportunity to nibble at her soft skin causing her to moan. God, this felt so incredibly good and within an instant all thoughts were blown out off his mind. He heard her whisper his name and that sound was too much for him to take.

For a long time there was only their heavy breathing filling the room.

"That was… good." Penelope panted her eyes still closed. Her lids just felt much too heavy to open them.

"Yeah." was all Derek could reply and he leaned his forehead against hers. He couldn't quite believe this had just happened.

She moved a little closer and placed her head on his chest.

Smiling Derek wrapped his arms tightly around her and kissed the top of her head. "See, that was what I meant about the development of our relationship." he said in a low voice. "There're so many things we can do before we actually have sex."

"Hm..." she replied already half asleep.

"I love you, baby girl." he smiled and kissed her hair once again. "The last weeks were the best time of my life. I can't remember the last time I felt so good and it's… well, all because of you to be honest. I never did anything to deserve you, do you know that?"

Penelope didn't answer and Derek realized that she had already fallen asleep. Smiling he closed his eyes. It didn't take long and he fell asleep as well.

When Penelope woke up the bed next to her was empty. She stretched herself and sighed contentedly. Then she got up to take a quick shower. When she walked towards the kitchen door she heard two voices – Derek's and Fran's – coming out of the room. For a moment she hesitated not wanting to interrupt a conversation between Derek and his mother. She turned to go back to his room when she heard a sentence that made her froze in the middle of the movement.

"I really thought you loved her – for a brief moment." Fran said.

"Are you kidding me?" Derek laughed. "I mean, honestly, we don't have the least bit in common. She's… challenging to say the least, nosey and pretty bothersome. I have no idea how aunt Mary could think she would be the perfect girl for me."

"I have." Fran giggled. "She's pretty much the same."

"Yeah, that's true." he chuckled. "I honestly don't know who of them is the bigger pain in the ass."

"So she was just an easy lay, huh?"

"Mom!" Derek exclaimed in obvious shock about her choice of words.

"What?" she asked innocently. "Am I wrong about that?"

"No… um… I didn't… We didn't have sex, okay?!" he stuttered. "And you shouldn't talk like that!"

"About her?" she asked. "I thought you didn't like her."

"She's one of the worst women I ever met." he affirmed. "But you shouldn't talk like that… about her or anyone else. You simply… shouldn't use words like 'lay'."

"Why not?" Fran shrugged.

"Well, because… you're my mother." he said. "Mothers shouldn't use such words."

This statement caused Fran to laugh heartily. "Well, from the way you treated her I could have sworn you liked her."

"I just didn't want to hurt her feelings." he shrugged. "Besides, how should I have told her that she was not at all my type? In a polite way, I mean."

Penelope stumbled a few steps backwards. She felt like someone had stabbed a knife directly into her heart. This couldn't be true! She must have misheard that… or maybe just misinterpreted. After everything that had happened between them – and after everything Derek had said to her… he wouldn't talk about her like that. He simply wouldn't.

Yet he had always been a womanizer, getting tired of his latest hook up after at least a couple of weeks. He had sex, not relationships – he'd said that to her himself once when she'd been teasing him about constantly looking for his next ex-girlfriend.

But Penelope had hoped that it would be different with her, that he simply wouldn't treat her like that, wouldn't do this to her. Apparently, her hope had been pathetic. Who was she to honestly believe that of all the women he'd already had or could still have he would pick her to spend the rest of his life with?!

He could do so much better than her. And he knew that. Of course, he did. But he was a nice guy, right? At least, that's what Penelope thought she knew about him. He was sweet and caring and lovely. What if all that had just been an act?

Could that be possible? Had he made so much effort just to lay her? She wasn't even worth that, was she? On the other hand, he didn't happen to know many oversized women and even fewer trusted him enough to spend a night with him. So if he had just been interested in an experience like that, she was apparently the only target – or maybe just the easiest.

Maybe they hadn't been talking about her but somebody else. One of his ex-girlfriends. But he had never introduced any woman to his family before her, he'd said that himself. So they couldn't have been talking about another woman – which allowed only one conclusion…

She should have known better. In fact, she had known better! She'd known Derek didn't want a serious relationship, especially not with someone like her. She'd known that the whole time. She had lived in a dream – and now she had woken up. It was over even before it had actually began. Maybe it was even better this way.

But still it hurt like only few things she could think of had ever hurt before. Tears sprung to her eyes and she ran back up the stairs to his room. She would pack her things and leave – as fast as possible.

And then? How could she ever look at him again – let alone talk to him – after everything that had happened?! Well, it probably wouldn't take long to resign, find a new job and move as far away from him as possible. At least not for someone with her skills. She'd gotten quite a few job offerings over the years, accepted none of them, apparently.

But that meant it wouldn't be too hard to find a new job – anywhere. And she could just send her resignation via mail. No need to deliver it by hand. She could search the internet for a new job while she was packing. Europe maybe, she'd always wanted to see Paris.

That was a good plan. She would sneak out of the house unnoticed and leave. Derek was never going to find her. She would start a new life and forget about everything that had happened to her – once again.

When she had closed the door to his room behind her, she burst into tears.

**AN:** _I know, I know, you don't like where I took the story. But well, what can I say?! I like fluff – especially Morgan/Garcia fluff, apparently – but I have to have a little hurt in every story so… All I can say is I hope you won't kill me before the next update. :D_

_Caro_


	16. Chapter 16

Derek smiled at the X-rated images that sentence produced in his minds

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 16

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** some fighting and some Kevin… fluff? Maybe. :)

"Anyway" Fran smiled at her son, "what I wanted to tell you was that you're lucky Penelope was here at the party."

"Not that I would argue with that but why?" Derek raised an eyebrow at his mother.

She giggled: "Didn't you notice that Mary had brought another woman around your age with her? I bet that was her second attempt."

Rolling his eyes he replied: "Yeah, and I can imagine she was even worse than Angela!"

"So, you just wanted to be polite when you took her out?" she questioned him as she prepared the coffee machine.

"To be honest, I thought aunt Mary was gonna kill me if I'd blown her off right away." Derek answered as he set the table. "I still don't know why she thought that girl was in any way good for me. Just her voice alone made my ears bleed, I swear it."

"How did you get rid of her?" Fran wanted to know.

Derek chuckled and put an arm around his mother's shoulders. "You know, you did very good at teaching me how to behave – especially towards a woman. So I just did everything you told me absolutely not to do. Obviously, it worked pretty well."

"Seems like." she nodded. "Penelope is the complete opposite of Angela. She's so caring, helpful and well-behaved. And it's a lot of fun to spend time with her. Now I know why you always drooled so much about her."

"I didn't drool about her." he objected.

"Aw, that's so cute!" Fran squealed a little.

"What?" he asked a little annoyed. He hated his mother calling him 'cute'. Strangely enough the same sentence from Penelope's lips would have made his heart leap with joy.

"I never heard you talk about any woman like you talk about her." she smiled. "And you ARE drooling about her whenever she's not around – and even when she is. You're whipped."

"Totally." he nodded.

"I never thought I would hear you say something like that." she smiled jubilantly.

"And I never thought I would find someone like Penelope, someone I actually could love."

"By the way, where is she?" Fran glanced at the clock on the wall. "It's time for breakfast – well, as soon as Des and Sarah make it back with the rolls."

"I'm gonna get her." he smiled and headed for his room. Whistling he climbed up the stairs. But when he opened his door he froze when he saw Penelope closing her packed suitcase. "Baby girl, what are you doing?" he wanted to know.

"I'm leaving." she harshly replied.

"What?" slowly he stepped into the room and tried to look into her face but she avoided him. "Why? Penelope, what's going on here?"

"I accidentally overheard your little conversation." she informed him.

Derek raised both his eyebrows. And that had made her upset? Finally he blocked her way and forced her to look at him. "Sweetness, what exactly did you hear?" he wanted to know.

"Enough." she snorted. "I know that it's over."

This startled him for a moment and he let go of her. "What… what made you think that?"

"Well, maybe because I'm a pain in the ass." her voice was barely above a whisper. "Or maybe because you never really loved me."

"I… have no idea what you're talking about." he assured.

"You said I was challenging." she yelled at him. "Nosey and bothersome, the worst woman you ever met. I should have known better. You just wanted to lay another woman. I just thought… you wouldn't do that… to me. Not since we were really close friends. I thought you would at least have enough respect for me."

"Listen to me, baby girl!" he begged. "What you heard…"

"I wasn't meant to hear" she interrupted him, "I know that. But unfortunately I did. And now excuse me, I'm gonna leave. Don't make it harder than necessary."

"I can't let you go." he insisted. "And I won't. I love you, I need you – and I don't want our relationship to be over."

"That sounded quite different a few minutes ago." she answered bitterly.

"Please, let me explain!" Derek repeated. "You only heard a part of our conversation, apparently. And in that part we weren't talking about you."

She snorted. "You don't honestly expect me to believe that, do you?"

"It's the truth." he assured. "A few years ago my aunt Mary came over to visit us – and she wanted to hook me up with the daughter of one of her friends. Her name was Angela. Mom and I were talking about her."

"Yeah, sure." Penelope wiped away the new tears that had sprung to her eyes. "It's almost impressive how fast you can come up with a pretext."

"This is… We can go down and ask my mom if you don't believe me." he offered.

"Don't bother!" she laughed dryly. "I will just leave and you'll never have to soft-soap me again just to lay me."

"I… That was never my intention." Derek tried to keep his voice calm even though he was on the edge of complete desperation. Why didn't she believe him? And what could he do to make her believe him?! But she was hurt and mad enough. The last thing he wanted was to make things worse.

"Was it worth all the effort?" she yelled. "Or are you disappointed now? Did you think about giving it up when you noticed I wouldn't be an easy lay?" She grabbed the first thing she could find – which was the jacket he'd worn the day before – and threw it at him.

Derek ducked the object and it was stopped by the wall behind him. With a slapping sound it landed on the floor and a small black box fell out of one of the pockets. It slid a few inches across the floor into Penelope's direction.

She stared at the box for a moment. Then she slowly walked over and picked it up. Without saying a word she opened it and sank down on the bed staring at the ring in disbelief.

"I don't want it to be over." Derek started carefully. He'd never been nervous talking to a woman, he'd never been afraid of being dumped. But at the moment he felt like he was risking everything. Penelope could make him the happiest man on earth the next second – or break his heart.

"It took me so long to realize what you mean to me. Everything I said to you was true, not a word was a lie." he assured. "I've never been so happy before and I don't want you to go. I want to keep you.

That's why I bought this ring. I… I had already bought it quite some time ago. But I didn't want you to feel rushed. And after what happened last night I just… didn't want you to think that I was just asking you because of that.

I love you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I feel good when I'm with you, safe and secure – and I never felt like this before with anyone. That's why I bought this ring and… wanted to propose."

"No." she whispered still staring at the ring in her hands.

Derek swallowed hard. "I know this is too early." he explained huskily. "And as I said, I didn't plan on proposing before I was sure that you felt… safe enough and…"

Suddenly realizing that she had said the word out loud Penelope looked into his eyes and said: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean… It's just… This is a dream. It has to be! One minute ago I was sure you didn't want me at all and now… I'm sorry, go… go ahead."

He took a deep breath, knelt down in front of her and then took her hands in his. "I love you, baby girl, like I never loved any woman before. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I never want to be with anyone else again, ever. Penelope Garcia" he smiled up at her, "will you marry me?"

"Yes." she nodded and new tears sprang to her eyes. "Yes, of course."

Smiling Derek took the ring from her hands to put it onto her finger.

Penelope stared at the piece of jewelry still in disbelief. Definitely a dream! And if it was, she never wanted to wake up again. Then she looked at Derek and smiled.

He raised a little to pull her into a tight embrace. He hadn't wanted her to find this ring – but he was relieved that she had. Because he feared that he would have carried this jewelry around for years without ever daring to propose.

"I'm so sorry." Penelope whispered. "I wanted to leave you without saying a word and start a new life somewhere."

"I would have found you." Derek replied. "I wouldn't have rested until I did."

"You'd never have found me." she sniffled. "I would have made sure of that."

He pulled back, smiled at her and put a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. "Maybe I know you better than you think I do."

She just gave him a quizzical look in return.

"Remember when I asked you about a holiday we could spend together?" When Penelope nodded he walked over to his closet and took a tour guide out of a drawer. "I bet you wanted to move there." he smiled as he handed her the book.

She stared at the cover, back at him and back at the book again. Then she sniffled and laughed at the same time.

"I know you always wanted to see Paris." he smiled as he sat down on the bed next to her. "So I thought you'd like to go there. I just thought you'd take me with you and… well, go back to Quantico with me."

All she could do was nod. She felt so stupid.

"I'm serious about us, baby girl." Derek assured and gently caressed her cheek. "That's why I made every effort to make you feel good. I never wanted to 'lay' you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Don't ever doubt that."

Smiling Penelope put the tour guide on the floor and leaned over to kiss him.

Sighing with relief Derek let his hand run through her full hair and pulled her closer. He gasped when she suddenly made him lay back on the bed and climbed on his lap. "Baby girl…" he whispered against her lips.

"I want you." she breathed and kissed him demandingly. "I want you."

"Wait!" he panted and gently pushed her away a little.

Penelope pulled back and stuttered: "You… I thought you… want me too."

"Of course, I do, goddess." he smiled and cupped her cheek with his hand. "You have no idea how much I want you. But I don't want you to do this as… some kind of reward."

"Oh" she smiled, "this… wasn't meant to be a reward. I just… I don't know."

"Are you really sure?" he carefully asked. He wanted Penelope to feel completely safe when they took this step and he couldn't tell if she did.

"No." she mumbled. "But I came to the conclusion that I'll maybe never be completely sure."

Derek frowned at her.

"I know I've been giving you a very hard time and…"

"No." Derek interrupted her and gently stroked her cheek. "You've been giving me the best time of my life."

Smiling she looked down and whispered: "I really want you."

"But?" he softly asked.

Penelope raised her head and locked eyes with him. "No but, not this time."

Grinning like mad Derek pulled her down to another passionate kiss. Then he whispered: "I have a little but. We shouldn't do that here. As you said, my mom and sisters could hear us."

"Well, we… could be quiet." she shrugged.

"Sure." Derek's grin widened. "But I absolutely don't want you to be quiet. I want to hear if you enjoy it."

"Derek!" she scolded him as her cheeks were turning purple and her heartbeat sped up.

He leaned in and whispered between soft nibbles on that special spot on her neck: "I'm serious, sweetness. Besides I absolutely don't want to be interrupted by my mom or one of my sisters. I want to be allowed to take my time."

Penelope's heart started pounding like mad and her whole body was humming. "That's not fair." she mumbled.

Derek chuckled. "You call that foreplay."

"I call that torture." she replied huskily.

"We should go down, have breakfast and enjoy another day of sight seeing with my sisters."

"Yeah, that sounds just great." she whispered literally melting under his touch. Derek was just about to lean down and caress her collarbone when her cell phone rang.

Sighing she got up, took the phone from the locker and frowned at the caller ID. "It's Kevin." she informed him.

"On a Sunday morning?" Derek sat up and grabbed the phone from her. "You can't tell me this is work-related!"

"Derek, what are you up to?" Penelope asked suspiciously.

"Relax." he winked at her as he opened the phone. "I just wanna let him know that it's pointless to keep calling you." He answered the phone and put the caller on speaker and met him with an innocent 'Hello?'.

"I… um… this is Kevin… Lynch… I wanted… Who's there?" the voice mumbled.

"This is Agent Derek Morgan." he replied.

That was followed by a moment of silence before Kevin said: "Actually, I thought I was calling Penelope."

Derek snorted slightly at the use of her first name. "You did. My FIANCÉE is taking a shower." he grinned at her. "Do you want to leave a message for her?"

"N… No… just… um… Sorry to bother you…" and then he hung up.

"Well, I'm rather sure it won't happen again." Derek chuckled and handed the phone back to Penelope.

She got up and put the phone back into her bag. "You know, I almost went out with him." she mumbled without turning back to Derek.

Both his eyebrows shot up and he stood up to step behind her. "What does that mean?"

"Kevin asked me out." she replied. "To the Bureau's New Year's Eve party. But you'd asked me beforehand so… I blew him off. But I… thought about accepting his invitation and blowing you off. I thought…"

"He was honest and I wasn't." he finished the sentence for her.

Penelope sank back into his arms, placed her head on his shoulder and whispered: "I can't believe I almost chose him over you. By a hair I defrauded us from… everything we have."

"You know, I believe if we're really meant to be we would have been together anyway." he breathed into her ear. "What belongs together eventually gets together. Natural law."

Turning in his embrace to look at him she asked: "And… do you think we're meant to be?"

"You and me?" he grinned and wrapped his arms tighter around her. "We're the reason they had to invent this word." he whispered just before his lips met hers for another breathtaking kiss.


	17. Chapter 17

Derek smiled at the X-rated images that sentence produced in his minds

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 17

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** we're at the more fluffy part now :)

**AN:** _Hi, everyone! It's me again, Caro, you remember me? :)_

_I'm sorry this update took forever but things were really crazy around here and I had problems writing this chapter anyway. But here it finally is and I hope you'll enjoy it. And yes, I'm typing almost all the time. So there will be more updates – hopefully soon if things stay normal._

&

"I can't believe you finally dared ask her." Sarah grinned as she and Des were examining the ring on Penelope's finger once again while they were waiting in a row to pay for the tickets to the Shedd Aquarium.

"The ring is beautiful." Des announced. "Who helped you chose it?"

"No one" he grinned, "I saw it and knew that it was the one perfect ring for my baby girl."

Penelope turned her head to smile up at him and Derek couldn't help but use the opportunity to lean down and give her a quick peck on the lips which made Des and Sarah giggle.

"Aw, come on!" Sarah then rolled her eyes. "No man would choose such a ring without a woman's advice. It was mom, right? She didn't seem to be surprised."

"Because it's mom. She has visionary skills." Derek put his sister off. He turned to pay for the tickets before he wrapped his arm tightly around Penelope's shoulders again.

"Derek has always known me better than anyone else." Penelope said in a low voice and smiled up at him again which was rewarded by him with another quick kiss.

"Maybe you two should have stayed home." Des grinned.

They started out at the lizard exhibit. And the Komodo was commented on by Derek with: "I bet that's how people came up with all the tales about dragons."

"You could ask your little genius about that." Sarah grinned and winked at Des who just rolled her eyes.

"Oh, my…" Penelope gasped as she stepped closer to the window eying the animal behind it. "How freaking cool is that!"

"Prehensile-tailed skink." Derek announced reading out the sign next to the window.

"I swear, one day I want to have one of those." Penelope said with wide eyes.

"You're really an unusual woman." Des giggled.

"Look who's talking!" Sarah shook her head in amusement. "Aren't you the one with the two gigantic iguanas in the living room?"

Penelope's head snapped around and she looked at Des excitedly: "Really?"

"Yup" she grinned, "that's why mom hasn't visited me in about three years. You can come over to see them whenever you want."

"That… would be great." she smiled.

"Let's go and see the Wild Reef exhibit." Sarah said excitedly. "They have about two dozen sharks there and a see-through floor where you get the impression that you're walking over the water."

Penelope could hardly resist the urge to just lay down and watch the water underneath her and the rays swimming right beneath her feet.

"Beautiful sight." Derek whispered into her ear.

"Yeah, I never imagined rays to be so huge and elegant." she smiled as she turned a little to look at him.

"Right, they're beautiful too." he grinned.

Penelope giggled. "You shouldn't talk to me in that sultry voice or I might just pull you into the next best corner for some making out."

Chuckling Derek leaned down to peck her cheek and mumbled: "I really don't have any intention to stop you from doing so."

"Hey, get a room!" Sarah giggled as she walked past them.

Smiling mischievously Derek wrapped his arm around Penelope's waist and said: "I have something much better in mind."

"What?" Penelope wanted to know.

He leaned down again and whispered in a voice so seductive that Penelope thought she might faint any second: "That's going to be a surprise."

Fortunately Des and Sarah kept her from thinking about that any longer by pulling her and Derek with them to the sharks. If Derek went on like that she would certainly lose it.

The sharks were even more impressive than the rays had been. Penelope took a step back when a big one suddenly swam by close to the window. "Wow." she gasped.

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to meet him without the glass between us." Derek commented.

"Sharks aren't dangerous." Penelope objected. "At least not as dangerous as everyone wants to make you believe they are. In fact, they're rather placid and they're really beautiful."

"I know." he smiled. "But still I feel better on this side of the window."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"I love the way you talk about these animals." he gently interrupted her. "And I love how much you care about every being in the world."

"I don't care about spiders that much." she grimaced and grinned at him.

"But I bet you'll like the snakes in the 'Amazon Rising' exhibit." he grinned back at her.

"I love snakes." she nodded. "I had a python when I was a kid."

Derek turned to look at her almost in shock: "You're kidding me."

"No." Penelope giggled. "My parents thought it would be a good thing if we all learned to take over responsibility so they wanted us to have a pet. Their only mistake was that they made us chose which pet we wanted. They were sure we would go with cats and dogs, maybe mice. But one of my brothers wanted a tarantula and I wanted a python."

Laughing heartily Derek commented: "Give my baby girl an inch…"

"And I'm most definitely taking the earth's diameter." she grinned.

"Hey, I know that these sharks are really impressive but unfortunately we don't have so much time." Sarah smiled at them. "At least not if we want to visit the Sears Tower after lunch. I mean, we don't have to but the sight is really beautiful."

"I'd like to see that." Penelope nodded.

"Besides I'm pretty sure this won't be the last time you visit Chicago." Derek stated.

"By the way, baby brother, have you already chosen a destination for your honeymoon." Des wanted to know.

"Not yet." he replied. "We haven't even chosen a date yet. And before we do that we'll go on a holiday together."

"That sounds nice." Des giggled. "Where are you planning to go?"

"Paris." he smiled.

"Hm… the city of love." Sarah purred and waggled her eyebrows. "But you're not planning on eloping, right?"

"No." he laughed. "Don't worry, it's a great feeling to be engaged and I want to enjoy that a little more."

"Yeah, and besides we want our families to be with us." Penelope smiled.

"Most definitely." Derek grinned and quickly pecked her lips. "Most of them are armed so we'd better not piss them off."

"I guess, I really need a FAC." Sarah grinned at her brother.

Laughing he shook his head: "Trust me, you're threatening enough without a gun."

The Amazon Rising exhibit wasn't any less impressive than the Wild Reef had been. There were more reptiles, fresh water stingrays and some fishes Penelope had never seen nor heard of. But she was especially interested in the green anaconda.

"You're not going to buy one of those, too, huh?" Derek mumbled with a smirk after Penelope had admired the snake for several minutes.

"No, I'd much rather have that lizard we saw in the other exhibit." she giggled.

"How about a gecko?" he suggested. "They're smaller and… well, cuter if you ask me."

"You have a point about the cuteness." she agreed. "Or maybe some of those turtles."

"We could move into a really big house with a big basement you can turn into a huge terrarium for all sorts of snakes and lizards and turtles you want." he shrugged. "Well, as long as they don't sleep in our bed at night."

"Snakes are quite warm and their skin is really soft." she objected.

Wrapping both arms around her waist and pulling her a little closer Derek answered in a low voice: "I don't think they can ever feel as warm and soft as you. Besides you wouldn't try and strangle me at night."

Leaning back a little she whispered: "Only if you ask me to."

This caused a low growl somewhere deep in his throat. "I like it when you're being naughty." he breathed into her ear.

The Waters of the World was certainly the biggest exhibit and they spent almost an hour exploring the ninety habitats and the animals in them. But in Penelope's opinion the leafy sea dragon and the paddlefish were the most interesting animals – because they were the most unusual ones. Even though the strawberry dart frog was a very close second.

"This one looks like you." Derek grinned as he pointed at one of the sea dragons.

"How's that?" she frowned.

Chuckling Derek replied: "It's flashy, colorful and has a lot of nice accessories."

"Most people call that strange." she replied.

"I don't see why." Derek shrugged. "You, baby girl, most definitely have style. Some people just can't stand that because they couldn't dress this way. They're just jealous."

"If people have a reason to be jealous of me it is you." she whispered.

"Love is wonderful…" Des rolled her eyes at the two of them.

"Aw, come on, now you are jealous." Sarah giggled.

Des just shrugged: "Sure I am, no need to deny that. I wish my relationships had been half as perfect as yours is."

"Yeah, you have a point there." Sarah sighed, put a comforting arm around her sister and winked at Penelope and Derek over her shoulder.

Derek moved to follow them but Penelope held him back for a moment. "Thank you." she whispered.

Giving her a quizzical look Derek wanted to know: "For what?"

"For not telling them." she mumbled and looked down. "About our fight and… stuff."

"Why should I." he frowned. "They don't need to know everything. Stuff like that is our business and ours alone."

"It's just… I feel... Your sisters are right, our relationship is perfect and I… I almost spoiled all this and…"

"Shush, baby girl!" Derek gently interrupted her and wrapped his arms back around her. "Forget about that, okay? Just promise me one thing."

"Anything." she quickly agreed.

Smirking Derek leaned down a bit and whispered: "You should be careful with statements like that."

Giving him a soft peck on his lips she smiled: "I don't think I need to be."

His face became serious again and he said: "For now just promise me that next time you hear or see something that offends you in any way you won't turn around and try to run away but step in and confront me."

"I promise." she nodded.

The Caribbean Reef was a huge circular habitat holding 90,000 gallons of water and an amazing diversity of fish as well as a green sea turtle called 'Nickel', cownose rays and bonnethead sharks. They were lucky and saw a presentation with the Shedd Diver who was feeding the residents of the habitat – as he called them.

But the best part was the Oceanarium and Penelope knew why Derek had saved that until last. They started out at the tide pool which was full of rather unusual and funny looking underwater animals such as sea cucumbers or bat stars.

Their next stop was at the otter cove where they could see the otters at the surface and underwater. Penelope thought that these might be the cutest animals she'd ever seen with their big black noses and their big round eyes.

Then they visited the penguin shore and Penelope couldn't help but smirk: "This one walks a little like Strauss, don't you think?"

"Yeah" Derek chuckled, "but the penguin looks better."

"Do you think she'll give us permission to get married?" she whispered.

Chuckling again Derek replied: "I don't see a problem there. It seems that Rossi has a certain… influence on her. So all we need to do is win him over. That's gonna be cake."

At the Secluded Bay they stepped right into a training session with the beluga whales. One of the mammals chirped at Penelope before it spitted a mouthful of water into her direction that almost hit her.

"Seems he likes you." the trainer smiled at her.

"I thought in this case he would at least spit over a fish." she grinned at the woman raising a hearty laugh.

And then they watched a dolphin show at the amphitheater. After a countless number of whispered 'Wows' Penelope leaned over to Derek and said: "You know, I've been dreaming about swimming with dolphins since I was a kid. One day I'm gonna do it." Her eyes never left the dolphins in the huge pool only a few feet away from her.

Derek just smiled at that.

"That was amazing." Penelope smiled at her future sisters-in-law. "Thank you."

"We're glad you had fun." Des grinned. "Come on, let's go for lunch, I'm starving!"

They ate at the UNO Chicago Grill. The restaurant was a thirty minutes drive away from the Shedd Aquarium. Suddenly Penelope remembered how awkward she'd felt the first time she'd eaten with Derek's family and how comfortable she felt around them now – even though it was only the third time they ate together.

Penelope couldn't believe that all this had happened within one week. One week ago she'd been sure that Derek wasn't serious about their relationship and that it would be over pretty soon. Now she was engaged. It was like all her dreams had come true. Well, almost.

"What's on your pretty little mind?" Derek asked in a low voice when he noticed the dreamy smile on Penelope's face.

"Oh, I was just imagining you in a tailcoat." she grinned at him.

"Were you?" he raised his eyebrows at her. "I think we need to have a serious talk about that later."

"And I wondered how my life – and I myself – could change so much in only one week." she added. "I still can't believe how lucky I am."

"How lucky we are." he smiled and leaned over to kiss her softly.

"Hey, behave!" Sarah giggled. "This is a public place."

The Sears Tower was even more impressive than on the pictures Penelope had seen. The Skydeck was the highest observatory in Chicago, as Sarah informed her, and the sight in front of her was breathtaking. She could see parts of the skyline of Chicago and behind the buildings Lake Michigan.

"It's amazing." she smiled at Des and Sarah. "You didn't promise too much."

"Let's take a picture of our new favorite couple." Des giggled as she directed Penelope and Derek into a position she thought was best for a picture. "You want to have some pictures to show to your friends, right?"

Derek leaned in a little and whispered: "Hold the ring into the camera, I want to see them freak when they look at the pictures."


	18. Chapter 18

Derek smiled at the X-rated images that sentence produced in his minds

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 18

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** again some fluff and some… thing else :)

As much as Penelope missed her work after a whole week off she was sad that they were leaving Fran Morgan's house. Their co-workers had been her only family for a long time and as much as she loved all of them they barely ever found the time to spend time together outside of work. Mostly because almost everyone except her had a family outside the BAU.

And now she had found a second family, too. And even after a few days she felt much more loved and cared about by Des and Sarah than she'd ever felt by her brothers. So the goodbye was accompanied with many hugs.

"Are you feeling well, baby girl?" Derek asked when they arrived at her apartment. She was silent again and looked a little sad.

"Yeah, just a little exhausted and a little sad." she smiled at him. "Besides my feet are killing me. I shouldn't have worn high heels today."

Smiling Derek wrapped his arm around her shoulder and said: "I promise we'll see my family again sooner than you prefer. Now take a shower and let me take care of your feet afterwards!"

"Okay." she smiled as she headed for the bathroom. She considered locking the door but then she decided against it just to find out if Derek would follow her. He didn't.

She was relieved and a little disappointed at the same time. But when she came into her bedroom she'd completely forgotten about it. There he was, sitting on her bed a tube of foot lotion in his hands and smiling at her: "Get yourself comfortable, cup cake, and let me see if I can make your feet feel better!"

She didn't need to be told twice so she quickly laid down on the bed, tucked herself in and grinned at him.

Derek pulled the blanket back so that he could reach her feet, pulled one of them into his lap and started to rub the lotion all over it.

Penelope sighed happily. Damn, he was some skilled foot kneader! Her feet immediately felt better, she felt better. Smiling she leaned back, closed her eyes and enjoyed the massage.

Even if she didn't want to fall asleep she was so exhausted and his soft massage was such a blessing that only half an hour later she was fast asleep.

Carefully Derek tucked her feet in, got up and quickly showered himself. Then he crawled under the blanket behind her. He didn't want to wake her up but he didn't want to go to sleep without the feeling of her body against his either. So he carefully moved closer until he spooned her.

She didn't make a sound just snuggled up a little closer against him in her sleep.

Gently Derek wrapped an arm around her, kissed her hair and leaned his head against hers. It wasn't long and he had fallen asleep as well.

Penelope didn't notice that he had stopped the massage. Nor did she notice that he had snuggled up against her back a little later. What she did notice was the scent of coffee the next morning. When she cast up her eyes she saw Derek standing in the doorway, an overloaded tray in his hands.

"Whoa, what's that?" she smiled at him.

"Breakfast in bed." he chuckled and placed the tray on the bedside table.

"You're spoiling me." Penelope grinned as she sat up in bed.

Derek chuckled again: "That's what I live for."

She disappeared in the bathroom for a few minutes to brush her teeth and returned just to crawl back under the blanket right after she was finished. Unfortunately, they didn't have much time for their breakfast. But that absolutely didn't keep them from enjoying it anyway.

While Derek was doing the dishes Penelope printed out the photos they'd taken to show them to their co-workers. Who would have thought he would make for such a good homemaker?! She smiled to herself thinking about that.

Grinning they walked into the bullpen where Emily and JJ immediately heaped questions about their week off on them. "Did you take any pictures?" JJ finally wanted to know.

Nodding and smiling a little mischievously Penelope handed them the photos she'd brought with her. Derek and herself at Fran's birthday party dancing, singing and obviously enjoying themselves. Almost all of the pictures were commented with an 'aw' or a giggle mostly by JJ. Reid just smiled at them.

Hotch and Rossi joined them just as they were approaching the last pictures they'd taken on their second Chicago trip.

"What's the point of this mass meeting?" Hotch wanted to know, a hint of a smile on his face when JJ handed him the pictures they'd already looked at.

"Oh, you made a sight seeing trip through Chicago." Rossi commented looking over Hotch's shoulder.

"Yeah, Derek's sisters invited me to do that because I'd never been to Chicago before." Penelope smiled. "It was a whole lot of fun, especially the Shedd Aquarium."

"Wow, that's some sight." JJ smiled.

"That was at the Sears Tower." Derek grinned at her.

Penelope's heart started to beat a little faster. But JJ handed the picture to Emily apparently without noticing the new piece of jewelry on Penelope's finger. In fact, they all seemed to pay more attention to the sight from the Sears Tower than to Penelope's hand. She had to admit, it was a little mean to test them like that. It wasn't unusual for her to wear rings.

"It's beautiful." Hotch smiled at her. "Where do you keep it?" She certainly couldn't just wear it for everyone else to see before they'd asked Strauss about it.

"Yeah, it belongs on your finger." Rossi smirked. "Oh, and let me worry about Strauss. She'll be fine with it, believe me."

Emily and JJ were looking puzzled between their bosses, their friends and each other back and forth.

Reid just grinned. For once he wasn't the one without the slightest idea what was going on.

Smiling sheepishly Penelope pulled at the long golden chain around her neck and revealed the golden ring she'd attached to it.

"Oh, my God!" JJ shrieked, jumped up and hugged her friend exuberantly. Then she poked Derek and winked: "I never thought you'd dare propose!"

"Me neither." he chuckled.

"Wow, it's really beautiful." Emily nodded as she examined the ring. "And it really belongs on your finger."

Blushing a little Penelope took the chain off and put the ring back on her finger. This way she could also see it the whole day long while she was working.

Reid, Hotch and Rossi congratulated both of them and even Hotch was smiling. "Finally." he mumbled to Rossi who smirked at him.

Only half an hour later they were standing in front of the lion's den. Penelope's knees were trembling so badly that she was pretty sure she would break down as soon as they'd entered Strauss' office.

"What can I do for you?" the elder woman barked more than asked.

"Ma'am" Derek said as he took Penelope's hand in his, "as you know Agent Garcia and I have been dating for quite a while now."

She closed the file she'd been reading and folded her hands above it as she answered emotionlessly: "And you probably know that I'm still not entirely content with it."

Great, it was working really well.

"So, the reason why we're here" Derek continued, "is that we want to ask for your permission to get married."

Snorting Strauss leaned back in her chair.

Penelope's heart sank and she felt tears springing to her eyes but fought them back. She'd known Strauss would never give them permission. So she just squeezed Derek's hand.

Derek squeezed her hand in return to assure her that it was going to be alright.

Rossi now leaned forward. Placing his forearms on his legs he smirked just slightly: "May I remind you,_ Erin_, that there are at least two reasons why you should give Agent Morgan and Agent Garcia permission to get married? One of them being that their relationship doesn't affect their work and you said in this case you were fine with it."

Derek and Penelope wondered what the second reason might be because suddenly Strauss' face became just a little paler. She leaned forward again and cleared her throat. "You are not in the field, Agent Garcia?" she asked.

"N… No." Garcia answered trying to sound as collected as possible. "Well, hardly ever. I mean, I was in the field with the team two times. But only to hack some computers. I never went with them when they arrested someone or anything."

Strauss frowned even more. Then she finally took a deep breath and grumbled: "Well, then I'm fine with it. But if your relationship ever – and I mean ever – does affect your work in any way one of you will be transferred! Keep that out of the office!"

"Understood." both Derek and Penelope nodded.

Strauss printed out the required form, signed it and handed it to Derek. "You're dismissed." She then snarled and turned back to her file.

In front of the door Penelope drew in a shaky breath. Then she turned towards Rossi and whispered: "Thank you."

"I was just telling the truth." he smirked and headed back for his office.

Penelope couldn't remember when she'd ever felt so happy before as this morning when she booted her computers. The day seemed to fly by and soon it was time for lunch. Derek had told her already yesterday that they couldn't have lunch together because there was something important he had to do. So she went to lunch with Reid, Emily and JJ.

She wasn't even five minutes back at her computers when someone knocked on her door.

"Come in." she called happily but when she turned in her chair she frowned a little. It was Kevin Lynch.

"Um… hi" he said a little sheepishly, "I just wanted to say… well… sorry, you know."

The frown on her face became deeper as she turned around fully face him. "About what?"

"Well, you and… Agent Morgan." he replied. "I… you broke up, right?"

"No." she slowly answered giving him a suspicious look.

"Oh?" now Kevin seemed to be surprised as he explained gesticulating wildly. "I just thought that… you know… since he was dating that other woman."

"What other woman?" she found herself asking before she even had enough time to think about it. She felt hurt and anger rising in her chest.

"Well, the one he had lunch with." he shrugged. "You know, long brown hair, Latino type, too skinny for my liking. You know her?"

"No." Penelope fought back the tears she felt springing to her eyes. He wouldn't cheat on her, right? Right?

But she just turned back to her computers and put Kevin off: "Maybe it was the girl from the bank. He told me he needed to see her this week."

"At lunch?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Why not?" Penelope shrugged nonchalantly. "I mean, I usually take my broker to lunch 'cause then he gets me the best stocks."

"I thought someone like you wouldn't need a broker." he mumbled.

Penelope didn't answer. She just wanted him to leave.

When Kevin remained standing insecurely in the doorway she turned back at him and asked: "Did you come here for a particular reason? I mean, can I help you with anything?"

"No" he quickly replied and rushed out of the room, "I just… see you."

Frowning again Penelope went back to work. She would talk to Derek once he came back.

Only a few minutes later her cell phone buzzed announcing that she'd gotten a text message. She frowned when she read who the sender was – Derek. Why should he send her a text message? Wouldn't he come back here in a few minutes anyway?

_Sorry, that I'm telling you all that this way, Penelope, but I think this thing with us doesn't work so we'd better stop seeing each other. In fact, I've met someone else._

_Derek_

Penelope felt tears running down her cheeks. This couldn't be true. Those words just didn't sound like Derek. Ditching a girl so chillingly simply wasn't like him.

And besides he'd asked her to marry him. But on the other hand she'd accidentally found the ring. Maybe it was meant to be given to someone else. He couldn't have told her then just after she'd found it. But then again…

_Just promise me that next time you hear or see something that offends you in any way you won't turn around and try to run away but step in and confront me._She heard Derek's voice echoing in her mind. And confront him she would.

Unfortunately that had to wait since the team was called on a case pretty soon afterwards. And for the next two days Penelope didn't have much time to worry about the other woman Kevin had told her about or the message she'd received – nor to talk to Derek. But at least he kept flirting with her whenever they called one another. So maybe he really hadn't sent the message. Penelope didn't even have the time to wonder who else it could have been.

It was a really tough case with regard to what the unsub did to his victims. He'd tortured them for hours in every imaginable and unimaginable way. But at least Penelope and Reid could figure out what all the victims had in common pretty quickly. Reid had asked her to check whether they all had the same plumber, hairstylist, computer expert or whatever else she could think of and bingo: they all went to the same nail salon outside town at least once.

Penelope was just about to call Reid back with the information, relieved that she didn't have to take another look at those pictures and that she'd found the missing part of the puzzle that would certainly help her team catch the bad guy and allow them to come back to Quantico soon, when her phone rang.

"Wow, you can read minds, genius." she answered her phone happily. "I just wanted to call you back with the information."

"This is Section Chief Strauss." the woman on the other end explained sternly.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, I didn't look at the caller ID before I answered the phone. Dr. Reid is waiting for some important information that will hopefully help them solve their case in Topeka. What can I do for you?" Well, at least her answer was less embarrassing than it had been the last time Strauss had called her.

"So your team is going to solve their case soon?" she asked.

"Yes, Ma'am, I'm positive they will." Penelope replied.

"Good." she heard Strauss snort slightly. Obviously she wasn't in a very good mood. "This means you'll have time now. Come to my office! And I want to talk to Agent Morgan as soon as the team gets back to Quantico."

Penelope was startled and remained silent for a second. Then she answered: "Yes, Ma'am, I'll tell Agent Morgan to come here once they've arrived. And I'll be there in a minute." She sent Reid the information to his PDA and quickly hurried to Strauss' office wondering what she might want to talk to her about.

She hadn't even knocked when the woman called her in and immediately got to the point: "I fear under the given circumstances the permission I gave you is no longer valid."

Penelope's heart stopped beating for a moment. It was like her whole world had just fallen apart. "But… why?" was all she could stumble.

"As I said if your relationship should ever affect your work it would have consequences – and I call a coition in your office an affectation. I'll think about who of you will be transferred and let you know once I've made my decision."

"But… I… we never…" Penelope gasped and went pale.

"That was all." Strauss interrupted her.

"Of course, Ma'am…" Penelope stumbled out of Strauss' office and back to her own one.

She couldn't believe this was happening. First the woman Kevin had seen Derek with and the fact that he'd lied to her about how he'd spent his lunch break. Then the message she's gotten and now Strauss had drawn back the permission and wanted to transfer one of them. And she couldn't even talk to Derek. All she could do was sit in her office and watch her life falling apart – and cry for the rest of the day.

**AN: **_I really don't know where this story line with Lynch came from. But believe me, he'll eventually get what he deserves. ;)_


	19. Chapter 19

Derek smiled at the X-rated images that sentence produced in his minds

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 19

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** not really a lot

She felt distraught and somehow as if she was caught in a nightmare that simply didn't want to end. She'd been so happy and suddenly everything had gone wrong. Derek was probably cheating on her maybe even dumped her with that message and just wanted to pretend nothing had ever happened. And even if that wasn't the case it certainly didn't matter 'cause they weren't allowed to get married anymore and one of them was going to be transferred.

She desperately wanted to talk to someone and had just decided to call Fran when her cell phone rang. It had been two hours since Strauss had called her. She checked the caller ID to make sure it wasn't Strauss again before she answered: "Garcia?"

"Hey, sweetness." he greeted exhaustedly but still obviously glad to hear her voice. "I just called to tell you that the case is over and the plane will take off in an hour. We'll leave the rest of the work to the local police. They can handle the case now that they have a complete profile and the address of his assumed workplace. Go figure, they didn't even know about victimology."

"That's what we are for, I guess." she replied quietly.

"Yeah, they're obviously thinking the same, doll face." Derek chuckled. Finally this case was over and the unsub would be behind bars soon. Normally they were all relieved by now. But Penelope didn't seem to be. Something was wrong, he could tell from the sound of her voice. "Are you okay, lollipop?" he asked.

This question brought the tears back to her eyes and she started to sniffle.

"Penelope? What's wrong?" Derek wanted to know.

"Who was she?" Penelope finally asked the question she'd been wanting to ask way too long.

"Who?" he wanted to know.

"The woman you met for lunch before you had to go to Topeka." she explained.

"How do you…" he started intuitively but stopped immediately and secretly kicked his ass for answering her question like that. How would that sound like?

"Kevin saw you." she just replied. "He… came here to tell me how sorry he was 'cause he thought we broke up."

Derek took a deep breath. He should have a serious talk with that guy.

"Listen, sweetness." he softly started. "I can't tell you who she was, not yet. But I…"

"I want an answer, Derek!" she interrupted him the tears clearly audible in her voice. "Don't you think I at least deserve to know who you dumped me for?!"

"I did… what?" he asked utterly perplexed now. "I just had lunch with her. That doesn't mean…"

"And what about the text message?!" she shouted at him.

"What text message?" his confusion only got bigger the longer they talked.

Penelope took a deep breath to calm down a little before she explained: "The message you sent me saying that it was over." She took out her cell phone and read it out to him.

When Derek heard the content of the message he clenched his fists. "Baby girl, please, stop crying. I never sent that message. But I can assure you the guy who did is dead!"

"You didn't?" she quietly asked. "But you… went out with that other girl…"

"Listen, goddess! I swear to God I would never in a million years cheat on you. It's true, I met this woman – and by the way she's married. That wasn't a date. I met her for a very good reason. I just can't tell you yet because it's going to be a surprise."

"For me?" she sniffled.

"For whom else, my sweet lady?" he smiled. "Just trust me, okay? I love you and I'm not cheating on you, I never would. And I will most definitely not dump you. Now that I finally found you I'm not willing to let you go again."

"Okay." she nodded. "I'm sorry, it's just…"

"No, I should have told you that I planned on meeting someone for lunch that day. You shouldn't have heard about it from someone else." he interrupted her. "Please, stop crying, sweetness, everything will be fine."

"No it won't." she started sobbing again. "Strauss took back the permission she gave us to get married. She said we had sex in my office and that she couldn't…"

"We did WHAT?" he exclaimed. "That's not true."

"You don't need to tell me." she sniffled. "But Strauss didn't even listen to me. She wants to see you as soon as you're back and she'll transfer one of us."

"Don't worry, angel, we did nothing wrong." he soothed her. "So there's nothing she can hold against us. This will all be resolve, trust me."

"I know we didn't do anything, chocolate God." Penelope took another deep breath. "But still… She already changed her mind about the permission and…"

"Calm down, goddess, will ya?" he softly interrupted her. "We can handle whatever gets in our way, I promise. Now stop worrying and stop crying! I promise we will get married no matter what! Even if it means that I have to quit my job."

"You… would do that… for me?" she whispered.

"Of course, Penelope. I'd do anything for you." he smiled. "We WILL get married."

"Okay" she smiled at his words, "just come back here soon, superhero!"

And with that she hung up and tried to think about something else. She was looking forward to the team being back – one of them in particular. At least it had taken them only two days to track the bad guy down. At least Derek neither cheated on her nor wanted to dump her. And all she could do was hope that he was right and they could clarify the situation to Strauss.

But thinking about that it might be the last time she was allowed to see Derek or maybe even the whole team brought the tears back to her eyes. Strauss would certainly transfer her rather than Derek. She was replaceable.

She tried to keep herself busy so that she didn't think about Strauss all the time and what might make her think Derek and her had had sex in her office. Since there wasn't any work she could do she decided to play a match of online poker.

But it was too boring to really distract her thoughts. So she decided to try something else, something she certainly shouldn't do. But finding out what the surprise might be Derek had promised to her would at least cheer her up to some extend. So she decided to take a look at his computer.

But alas he was exceptionally good at hiding things, even from her. And he obviously knew her too well to simply keep information about that on his computer. But then she found a file that caught her attention – and when she opened it she couldn't help but burst out laughing.

A picture popped up on her screen. A picture of a stuffed bunny with an angry look wagging its index finger at her and the lettering: "It's not nice to hack my system, baby girl!"

"I know you better than you think, huh?" a voice suddenly said from the door.

Penelope jumped a little but then smiled. She should stop being frightened that easily.

Derek could have kicked himself when he saw her jump. He quickly stepped closer and pulled her into a tight embrace. "I'm so sorry, Penelope, I should have known better than to…"

"It's okay" she put him off relaxing in his arms, "really. I'm just a little too jumpy. And I didn't know you were back already."

"Sorry, I wanted to call you." he smiled and gently kissed her hair, inhaling the scent of her deeply. "But my battery's low."

"It's okay." Penelope smiled up at him. "I'm glad you're back. And I'm sorry for hacking your system."

"Don't worry about that." he grinned and softly pecked her lips. "I have nothing to hide from you."

"Apparently you have." she mumbled as she pulled him down for a more passionate kiss. "Otherwise you would tell me about the surprise."

"I will" he promised, "this weekend. There're still some things I need to take care of beforehand. Come on, now, we need to talk to Strauss!"

The grin disappeared from her face. This wouldn't end well. How could they ever convince Strauss that her accusation simply wasn't true? Nonetheless, they made their way to her office, knocked, waited for her to call them in and took the seats she offered them.

"Ma'am, we would never…" Derek started.

But Strauss cut him off: "Someone saw you – or better heard you."

"Ma'am, I can assure you whoever told you this is lying." Penelope jumped in. "We would never have sex in my office, or anywhere else in the building. Who said we did?"

"I can't tell you for obvious reasons." Strauss said.

_Yeah, for example because I'd beat that guy to death for spreading such rumor about us._ Derek thought. He was sure he knew who had told Strauss this lie anyway – and that guy so had one foot in his grave already.

"As I said, under the given circumstances I can't give you permission to get married." Strauss added. "And I have to transfer one of you to another field office."

Penelope felt like she would burst into tears any second and desperately tried to keep up her self-control.

"I bet it was Kevin Lynch." Derek just snarled. When he looked into Strauss' surprised face he knew that he'd hit the target. It made sense. First he'd told Penelope about the woman he'd have lunch with and Derek would bet his left arm that he'd also sent her the text message.

"How do I know?" Derek asked in response to Strauss' raised eyebrow. "Because that guy has tried to ruin our relationship since the day we've started dating including sending a text message via my cell phone that said I left her. He wants Penelope."

Strauss frowned at them once again.

"You don't believe us." Derek stated.

The frown on her forehead just became deeper but she didn't respond. Lynch had suggested that Agent Morgan should be transferred. If that analyst really was that scheming he could soon turn out to be dangerous. People like him didn't have a place in this building.

"When – according to him – did he hear us?" Derek wanted to know. Maybe this way he could prove that Lynch was lying, if they had an alibi.

"Two weeks ago." she replied. "On Tuesday, if I'm not mistaken."

"At what time?" Penelope asked abashed.

"Around noon as I recall it." Strauss answered. "He said he wanted to deliver some information you needed before you went to lunch."

"That can't be true." Derek sighed with relief. "We didn't have any new cases that week, so we were going over some paperwork. Agents Prentiss and Reid were with me in the bullpen until one p.m. when we all went for lunch together. You can ask either of them. Besides either Agents Jareau or Hotchner or Rossi have certainly seen me from their offices."

"And I never asked Kevin Lynch for any information." Penelope added.

"I should probably ask the other agents." Strauss mumbled. _But I don't think it's necessary. I'll have a serious talk to Technical Analyst Kevin Lynch, though_. "You're dismissed."

"Thank you, Ma'am." Derek nodded and they headed for the door to her office.

Penelope turned around and asked quietly: "Ma'am, the permission…"

"… is still valid." Strauss cut her off. "And none of you will be transferred. But if something like that should ever happen it will have serious consequences for both of you."

"Yes, Ma'am." Penelope quickly replied. "I promise something like that won't happen, ever."

_And if it does, we'll make sure we don't get caught. _Derek thought and chuckled to himself. But his face remained stern.

Once they'd left Strauss' office Derek stomped down the corridor at a smart pace.

"Wait, where are you going?" Penelope wanted to know as she struggled to keep step with him. He was obviously pissed.

"I'm gonna have a serious talk with Lynch!" he grumbled. "And then I'm gonna beat the shit out of him. Or the other way round, haven't decided on the order yet."

"Derek, let me take care of that, will ya?" she begged him. "It won't help if you get suspended for beating him up." But Derek didn't slow down.

"He's probably at home anyway, it's past ten already." she tried again.

Derek froze and then turned around to stare at her for a moment. Then he just mumbled: "Damn it!" and ran a hand over his head.

"Calm down, sweetness, please." she said calmingly. "He's not worth the effort."

"True." Derek took a deep breath. "But he'd better not mess with me again."

"C'mon, let's go home!" she softly said.

Derek agreed. However, he did not agree on leaving it alone. So when Penelope took the hot bath he'd prepared for her he searched for Lynch's phone number and called him.

When Penelope left the bathroom and headed for the kitchen to get a bottle of water from the fridge, she heard Derek talking from the living room. He sounded quite upset.

"I can imagine something better than coming back from a tough case pretty much in the middle of the night just to be called to Section Chief Strauss' office because some despised admirer spread rumors about me and my fiancée." she heard him grumble and immediately knew whom Derek was talking to.

"No, I don't care about MY reputation. But you're hurting Penelope with what you do and I can't let that happen." he snarled. "Why? Because I love her, because I care about her and I'm gonna protect her whatever it takes. You understand me?" Penelope smiled at his words.

"No, I'm not trying to threaten you." Derek growled. "But I can assure you if you don't leave us alone you'll regret the day you were born."

Penelope stepped into the doorway in an attempt to stop Derek from saying anything Lynch could ever hold against him, but he didn't even notice her.

"Listen, Lynch!" Derek hissed into his phone. "I don't care if you believe that I love Penelope or not. I don't need your agreement to be with her. I will marry her because she's the best thing that ever happened to me whether you like it or not."

There was a long pause and from the doorway Penelope could see Derek pace the living room. Finally he said a little calmer: "No, I don't want to keep her all to myself. And yes, I know that I don't deserve that she loves me. But I wonder what makes you think you do.

Maybe I can't offer her as much as you think you can. But I love her and I'll do anything to make sure she is as happy as she can be every day for the rest of our lives. I know how lucky I was that she decided on me and if it's up to me I'm not gonna let her go again, ever. And you will have to kill me to keep me away from her."

Derek frowned at his phone and mumbled: "Yeah, hang up on me." When he turned around he was startled by the sight of Penelope standing in the doorway. "Baby girl, I…" he tried to apologize while she slowly stepped closer. "I know you didn't want me to talk to…"

She cut him off with a passionate kiss. Then she smiled at him and whispered: "Thank you."

Wrapping his arms around her Derek sighed with relief and replied: "Any time, angel face. I just hope he got the message now and will leave us alone."

"I'm rather sure he did." she smiled and pulled him with her towards the bedroom. "Now come to bed, I missed cuddling with you!"

Derek didn't need to be told twice. He didn't even think about what her words might have meant. He'd missed cuddling with her just as much. So he quickly crawled into bed next to her and kissed her softly.

Penelope sighed happily and pulled him closer. "I missed you so much." she whispered. "And I'm glad this isn't the last time we're allowed to see each other.

"I missed you too, sweetness." he mumbled sleepily and buried his face in the crook of her neck. The case had been exhausting and they hadn't found much sleep in the past two days. "I told you everything would turn out well."

"And I'm glad you were right." she sighed already half asleep as well. "I love you, Derek!"

"I love you, Penelope." he mumbled against her skin.

"I'm so sorry, hot stuff, I should have talked to you earlier. I mean, I wanted to but…"

"Stop that, goddess." he softly cut her off. "The only one who should be sorry is Lynch!"

Of course, they didn't know that he was far from being sorry. He was rather really pissed after he'd seen Penelope and Agent Morgan leaving the building together, kissing and obviously happy. And then the guy had had the guts to call him and confront him!

But he would take care of that. His first plan hadn't worked, so what? There was still time for plan B. In the end he would be with Penelope – and if it was over Agent Morgan's dead body, all the better!


	20. Chapter 20

Derek smiled at the X-rated images that sentence produced in his minds

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 20

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** Again I don't know where that storyline came from. But can you tell, I don't like Lynch very much.

**AN:**_ So sorry this took forever but this chapter was really giving me a hard time – most of all because my muse took this story into a completely different direction than I intended to take it. Still I hope you enjoy the chapter and the next one will hopefully be up sooner._

He couldn't help but smile when he walked into the bathroom the next morning. For a long while he leaned in the doorway and watched her doing her hair and make-up. She was so beautiful and she was his, finally.

Slowly he walked over to her and wrapped his arms tightly around her. "Good morning, princess." he murmured.

Smirking Penelope let her back sink against his chest and replied: "I'll show you a good morning, hot stuff."

"Hm, I like the thought of that." Derek smiled as he leaned down to nibble on that special spot on her neck again well aware of what this was doing to her.

Penelope closed her eyes happily and let her head fall back against his shoulder. "You're killing me with that, do you know that?!" She gasped when she felt his hand on her hip, a little too low not to make her body react to that.

"That wasn't my intention." he grinned against her skin and let his hand slide just a fraction deeper.

"Why can't I believe that?" she panted.

"As I told you, this is just a little… foreplay." Derek chuckled while his mouth made his way down to her shoulder.

"You're gonna leave a mark there." Penelope whispered.

"Do you mind?" he shrugged. "You'll have to wear a scarf anyway. It's cold outside."

"Nonetheless, I don't like having a hickey." she tried to complain.

Derek grinned and bit down a bit harder: "Why not? You can show it around. To Kevin for example. Maybe then he'll finally leave us alone."

"I have a feeling he will." she shrugged a little absentmindedly.

This however caught Derek's attention and he stopped teasing her causing her to sigh a little frustrated. "What did you do?" he demanded to know.

"He just got a bit of the best part of me." Penelope grinned and winked at him through the mirror.

"I hope not." Derek frowned at her. "Because I absolutely expect you to save every bit of that best part of you for me."

Penelope rolled her eyes. "I was talking about my computer skills, Derek." she explained as she snuggled up closer against his chest in an attempt to make him continue what he'd just stopped doing.

"What does that mean?" he pressed her.

"I just sent him an email." she sighed. "Now, could you… please…" she begged and waved her hand in the direction of his.

Derek couldn't help but grin at that. "Could I please what?" he asked innocently.

"Derek!" she groaned.

He smiled. She was begging for his touch which meant she felt no longer uncomfortable with the idea of them getting… physical. The smile on his face turned into a wide grin. Then he pecked her cheek and let go of her.

"Sorry, baby cakes, but we don't have the time for that now. We'll be late for work." he said.

Groaning again Penelope rolled her eyes and mumbled: "That was so not fair."

Chuckling Derek stepped back behind her and wrapped his arms around her once again. "That was just to whet our appetite, cup cake – for tonight. I'm very fond of long foreplays, you know."

Her heart beat immediately went sky high at the thought of what this day might still be holding ready for her.

But there was one person who was about to try his best not to let Derek put his plans for the night into action.

The evening before Kevin had checked his mail box and had felt a grin appear on his face. He hadn't even cared about the subject line when he'd read that the email was from Penelope. He'd just opened it. It seemed that his plan had finally come to fruition and they'd split up. And Penelope certainly wouldn't want to talk to her ex anymore and needed a friend. And he was definitely willing to be there anytime.

At least that had been what he'd thought until he'd read the first words. _You should know better than to mess with me!_ Then his screen had gone blank and the next second a line had popped up on his screen over and over again.

_I must not try and ruin other people's relationship._

He had desperately tried to fix his computer the whole night through using every way to restore any data he could think of. He was interrupted in this rather fruitless attempts by the ringing of his cell phone around seven a.m..

"Lynch?" he pretty much barked.

"This is Section Chief Erin Strauss." the woman on the other end replied.

He immediately froze and stumbled: "Ma'am… I… What can I do for you?"

"I want to see you in my office." she commanded.

"Now?" he shrieked. "I mean, I have to…"

"Half an hour not more, Lynch." she repeated.

"Of course, Ma'am." he quickly nodded. "Half an hour, I understand, I'll be there."

He waited for her to hang up not sure if she'd be pissed when he hung up first. Then he decided that he'd had to go through the embarrassment of having to tell his team that someone hacked the computer and the data was gone so he reformatted the hard drive. Then he hurried out of his office and down the corridor as fast as he could.

"Come in!" he heard Strauss snarl shortly after he had knocked on her door and carefully dared enter the room.

Strauss was sitting behind her desk frowning at him. She didn't even offer him a seat before she spoke: "It is proven that Agent Morgan wasn't even near Agent Garcia's office the day you said you have heard them in her office."

She leaned forward and continued before Kevin could answer: "It is further proven that you used Agent Morgan's cell phone to send a text message. That means you hacked into the cell phone of a federal agent which is against the law as you certainly know."

All he could do was nod slightly and swallow hard.

"You're fired, Lynch." Strauss finally said the hint of a smile crossing her face. "And I ask you not to set foot into a federal building again unless you're asked to do so. I want your office to be cleared by the end of the week. You're dismissed." That being said Strauss turned back to her paper work.

Nodding Kevin left. This had not turned out very well. First Penelope had blown him off and ruined his computer and now he'd lost his job.

This was all Morgan's fault! Kevin had asked Penelope out for the New Years party and the only reason she'd blown him off had been the fact that this womanizer had asked her beforehand. He, Kevin, should be with her now! Not that player! But he knew exactly what to do. In the end, Penelope would realize her mistake.

But to make her realize it he definitely needed to get rid of Agent Derek Morgan. She was so whipped by this sleaze that she just couldn't see the truth. Him telling her about the woman Morgan had met for lunch or at least the text message should have done it – any other girl in the world would have dumped him without even thinking about it.

But Penelope was so blind with love that she just didn't want to see that she didn't belong to Derek Morgan! That's why Kevin needed to get rid of him first.

Even Strauss had turned against him – although he knew way too well that she was always searching for a reason to break the BAU team up and transfer each and everyone of them. But alas she hadn't transferred Morgan because of his 'alibi'.

The heck with it! He wasn't for nothing one of the best technicians in this building! Thank goodness that he always had the backup CDs in his bag just in case. The computer had crashed and the data was lost? So what?! After the hard disk had reformatted Kevin re-installed all his programs et voilà! One and a half hours later his computers were as good as new – and he could start to put his plan into action.

It shouldn't be that easy but, well, never look a gift horse in the mouth! He had almost everything he needed with him anyway and the few chemicals were available in the nearby supermarket. Of course, he had to make sure that Penelope stayed away from Derek Morgan so that she wouldn't get hurt. And once that guy was out of the picture he would finally get the girl. It really shouldn't be that easy. He grinned to himself when he saw the couple entering the building.

Smiling Derek opened the door for his soon-to-be wife and wrapped his arm back around her waist as soon as they had entered. "You have eight hours to decide whether you want us to go to your place or mine after work." he whispered into her ear causing her to giggle sheepishly. "I don't want to waste more time than necessary once I finally get you out of here."

"Behave, Derek." she scolded him and playfully slapped his chest. "That is inappropriate behavior at our work place."

Kevin snorted slightly at the sight of the couple teasing each other.

Grinning Derek pulled out his badge and showed it to the guy behind the desk who smiled rather at Penelope than at Derek: "Good morning."

"Good morning, Richard." Penelope greeted the young man. "How's your wife?"

"Getting on my nerves." he chuckled.

"She still isn't allowed to stand up, huh?" she gave him an understanding smile.

"Not for the next month." he sighed. "Until it's safe for the baby to be born. I swear, I'm going to go crazy."

"I'm sure you'll have forgotten about all that once the baby is born." Penelope smiled at him.

The expression on Richard's face became a little dreamy and he sighed again: "Yeah, certainly. I can't wait to see my little boy."

Derek and Penelope smiled at each other.

"Hey, what about you." Richard suddenly asked excitedly.

"What about us?" Derek frowned at him.

"Well, I heard rumors that you're finally gonna get married." Richard chuckled. "And as far as I can judge it they seem to be true."

"Finally?" Penelope raised both her eyebrows at him. They hadn't exactly been together for ages, after all, it hadn't even been two months.

"Well, all of us made bets on when you two will finally realize that you are meant for each other." Richard shrugged.

Penelope's cheeks turned red but Derek just grinned at her: "Seems they all realized it sooner than we did."

"Yeah, I mean, did you never ask yourself why no one in this building ever asked you out?" Richard smiled. "Because we all knew that you were taken, even though the two of you hadn't known – and to be honest, none of us wanted to mess with Agent Morgan."

"Oh." Penelope whispered. "And I thought that I just wasn't the kinda girl… you know."

"Are you kidding me?" Richard burst out. "Now that I'm married I certainly shouldn't say that but when I started working here I was hopelessly in love with you. None of us missed what a great woman you are."

"Come on, baby girl, we gotta get to work." Derek said as he pushed her forward. "And we'll have to talk later, Richard!"

Richard and Penelope both chuckled at that.

They made their way to the break room to get their coffee for the morning in comfortable silence. Penelope was smiling to herself about what Richard had told her and that didn't escape Derek's notice.

"You know, I'm glad they didn't dare making a move on you." Derek told her and wrapped his arm around her waist when they were alone in the break room. "Because if one of them had dared you could be with him now instead of me – and I don't like the thought of that."

"I wouldn't want to be with anyone else." she whispered and gave him a quick yet intense kiss. "I love you."

"I love you more." Derek grinned as he stole another kiss from her.

"I don't think that's possible." Penelope giggled.

"So that means you can't do without me anymore, huh?" Derek winked at her as he opened the door.

She grinned back at him: "Actually, I don't think I ever…"

Their banter was interrupted when Kevin Lynch ran into them spilling Derek's coffee mostly over the floor and unfortunately a bit over Derek's trousers as well.

"Oh, my God, I'm so sorry, Agent Morgan." Kevin apologized bowing slightly. "When I couldn't find you in the bullpen nor in your office, Penelope, I thought you might be in the break room. So I came here. I didn't mean to…"

"What do you want?" Derek snarled instinctively stepping in front of Penelope.

"I just… wanted to apologize." he said and let his head sink. "Strauss just fired me and I… I really think it's better this way. I mean, I deserved it, certainly. I had no right to try and tear you apart so I… I'm sorry. I really am. And I'm sorry I spilled your coffee. I'll get you a new one!" That being said he disappeared into the break room.

"Do you believe him?" Derek whispered. "I mean, that change of heart seems a little sudden to me."

"Well, after all I ruined his computer." she shrugged. "That can be healthful."

"I think he's up to something." Derek mumbled and faked a smile as he took the fresh coffee from Lynch.

"I will without question pay for the cleaning." Kevin explained pointing at the stains on Derek's trousers.

"Relax, it's just coffee." Derek put him off and pretended to sip on the cup Lynch had handed him. "Thanks for the new one."

The other man grinned, nodded and bowed out.

"I'll get changed." Derek grumbled. "See you at the briefing, baby girl."

Nodding Penelope headed for her office to get the file JJ had asked her to put together for the briefing this morning. But unfortunately, she didn't even get near the file. When she stepped into her inner sanctum and turned to close the door, she froze. Kevin was standing in her doorway smiling at her.

"Kevin" she gasped, "what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to ask you out." he smiled.

Penelope sighed. "Kevin, we already talked about this."

The smile on his face widened into a mischievous grin as he held out the gun he'd brought with him. "Yeah, but this time I have better arguments."

Penelope swallowed as her eyes fell upon the piece of metal in his hand. Immediately, the memory of the shooting returned and she shivered. "You won't kill me." she whispered.

"Not if you come with me." he affirmed.

"Why, Kevin?" even though it wasn't easy, she managed to raise her eyes to his face again. "Why are you doing all this?"

"Because you belong with me!" he almost yelled at her. "You shouldn't be with Agent Morgan! He's a player, he'll dump you once he gets tired of you! How can you honestly believe that he really loves you?"

"I know he does." she frowned. "And just because you think that I'm not worth it doesn't mean that Derek feels the same."

This however startled him and he took a step forward – causing Penelope to step back. "No… No, this was not what I meant." he quickly assured. "You're so beautiful, so… perfect. But he's not the kind of man who appreciates that. He doesn't even know what you can do with a computer, how skilled you really are. You are unique! And you can do better than him."

"And you think you're better?" she asked bitterly pointing at the gun in his hands.

"You don't understand that." he said. "I have to do that! Because otherwise you'll never see the truth. Agent Morgan isn't good for you, but I am! I can make you happy and I will – if you just… give me a chance. If you'd gone to that party with me we would be together now!"

"Yeah, maybe." she said quietly. "But Derek had asked me first. He'd made every effort to woo me – and kidnapping me at gun-point wasn't part of it."

"Just because you gave him the chance I should have gotten!" he hissed. "And now… If you would follow me, please!" he stepped next to her and pressed the gun in her rips so that she didn't try and fight him as he lead her out of her office.


	21. Chapter 21

Derek smiled at the X-rated images that sentence produced in his minds

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 21

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** not really

Richard frowned when he saw Penelope and Kevin leave the elevator. He could sense that something was wrong.

"Um… Penelope?" he called out and quickly stepped in front of them to block their way. "Agent Morgan just called me and asked me to take you home."

"I will take her home." Kevin declared and pulled Penelope a little closer.

Richard looked into Penelope's eyes and he could see fear and concern. She looked down to her right side, back into Richard's eyes and back down. He nodded slightly and carefully opened his holster so that he was ready to draw his gun if necessary.

"I'm sorry" Richard frowned at Kevin, his hand resting on the gun in his holster, "but I have a strict order and I have to follow it."

"Penelope is going with me!" Kevin hissed.

"I don't think so." Richard mumbled.

And then everything happened as if in slow motion. Kevin pushed her out of the way to point his gun at Richard who drew his own gun at the same time. They both shot and Richard sank to the floor. Penelope screamed and the next second the alarm shrilled through the hall.

Kevin grabbed Penelope and pulled her with him towards the exit. But when he saw the three agents coming in from the street he quickly grabbed some keys from Richard's pocket and pulled Penelope through the next door into a corridor. He forced her down the stairs into the parking lot where he forced her into the driver's seat of a black SUV.

"You're driving!" he ordered still pointing the gun at her.

Nodding she started the engine and drove out of the building.

"You shot him." she whispered and pulled as far away from him as possible desperately trying to concentrate on the road and stop shaking. She felt dangerously close to a nervous breakdown. "Why did you do that?"

"That wasn't planned." Kevin admitted through gritted teeth.

Penelope's eyes fell upon his left hand that was pressing on his stomach and covered in his blood. "You're hurt." she quietly said.

"Yeah, well, that wasn't planned either." he groaned obviously in pain.

"Why did you do this?" she asked looking back at the road again. "I mean, you could have used me as a shield. Why did you push me out of the way?"

He looked at her as if she was insane. "Do you think I want you to get hurt?"

"But… if you never planned to hurt me…" she asked quietly. "Why did you point the gun at me and kidnapped me?"

"I just… want to be with you." he answered.

Penelope winced when he reached out to touch her and kept staring at the road to avoid his gaze.

Kevin frowned and hissed: "This is all his fault. But once he's out of the picture you will realize that you belong to me! Then you WILL love me."

"He won't let you win." she whispered. "Derek would never give me up, he won't rest until he has found me. And then I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

"Don't worry about me!" Kevin smiled triumphantly. "And don't rely too much on him. If he's trying to follow us, he won't get very far."

Her eyes widened in shock. "What have you done?" she gasped.

"What I had to do." he replied. "It's better this way. That's why I wanted to take you with me. You see, I'm just trying to protect you. You belong with me!

You should keep your eyes on the road."

The tires squealed as she brought the car to an emergency stop at the red light.

"What if I don't?" she whispered after a while. "What if I will never love you because my heart belongs to someone else?"

"I will MAKE you love me!" he shouted and then grimaced in pain.

"How?" she wanted to know. "Will you rape me if I don't let you touch me?"

"I promise I will make you happy." he smiled and then gently caressed her cheek and made her look at him again hoping that she could see in his eyes that he was serious, that he wouldn't hurt her. But when he leaned in to kiss her she cringed.

"Please, don't!" she begged voicelessly. She knew that she should certainly let him touch her and tell him what he wanted to hear. But he had just told her that he'd planned to kill Derek. And she couldn't hold back the tears any longer.

Kevin's eyes widened. "You're afraid of me?"

"What did you expect?" Penelope sniffled. "You try to kidnap me, you shoot one of my friends, you threaten the man I love and I can't be sure what you're going to do to me."

She jumped when the car behind her honked and she quickly drove on. Maybe she should just stop the car somewhere and refuse to drive anywhere. What could he do? After all, he was pretty badly hurt.

"I… I would never hurt you." he promised once more.

"Really?" she whispered. "Do you think that if you hurt my friends it doesn't hurt me? And if you're ready to kill Derek or Richard or anyone else who gets in your way, where's the guarantee that you won't eventually kill me?"

"I would NEVER hurt you!" Kevin yelled at her causing Penelope to wince. "I love you!"

But this time she didn't answer. She just cried silently.

"You don't know what this is like." his voice was husky and it was obvious that his energy was fading. He groaned and shifted uncomfortably. "Being alone."

"Is that why you did all of this?" she sniffled. "Because you don't want to be alone?"

"I never met a woman like you before." he coughed. "From the moment I first saw you I knew that we belong together."

"And you really think this is the way to a woman's heart?" she asked bitterly and pointed at the gun in his hands. She was slowly getting her self-control back and wiped the tears from her face.

Kevin stared at the piece of metal and then sighed. "It wasn't meant to go this way. I was sure you would blow him off – at least after the text message. But you… you two always talked everything out and reconciled with each other."

"Have you never considered it possible that maybe I don't belong with you?" she whispered. "You tried to tear Derek and me apart so many times but yet we're still together. What if that means that I belong with him?"

Kevin clenched his fist at that: "Just… for once in my life I wanted to get the girl and not be scored off by the hot guy."

"I understand that." she assured him quietly. "But killing Derek won't change anything. And if you did really love me and really didn't want to hurt me, you wouldn't kill him. Because if you do you might as well kill me."

"You really love him." Kevin stated sadly.

"Yes, I do." Penelope affirmed. "He treats me like every girl wants to be treated and I am very happy with him. In fact, I've never been so happy before."

"So you don't regret anything?" he wanted to know.

"Of course, I do." Penelope whispered. She regretted that she'd been so hesitant and that she'd given him such a hard time. "I regret quite a few things because if I die today or if you kill him there's… so much that I missed."

"But you don't regret that you went out with him instead of me." he frowned.

Penelope looked into his eyes and shook her head. Then she looked back at the road, took a deep breath and added trying to keep her voice strong and confident: "You see, you should kill me right away because I will never be yours. Even if you get away with this and they don't find us, I will never be yours. I love Derek. And you can kill him and kidnap me, rape me or even kill me – but you will never change that."

"You won't die." he assured weakly. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Then let me go!" she begged. "And just stop trying to ruin my life."

"I'm not… willing to give you up." he gasped. "You belong with me! You should be with me."

Maybe this wasn't a good idea. Maybe she was risking her life. But the only other option she had seemed a lot more terrifying to her. So she pulled the car into the next best parking lot and stopped the engine.

"Look" she tried to sound as determined as possible, "we can just stay here and wait. You're losing a lot of blood and I bet you already feel cold. I'm not a doctor but I would guess that you have another thirty maybe forty minutes. If you don't get to the emergency room soon you're gonna die. So give me that gun and let someone help you!" Penelope held her hand out for him.

"I'd rather… die in this… goddamn car… than be… alone for the rest… of my life." he said between heavy breaths. He was pale and sweating.

"You won't be alone." she objected.

"Don't… tell me that… there're many other girls out there." he panted. "I know… what's gonna happen. They'll p… put me into a… mental hospital."

"Maybe that's a good thing." she tried her best to give him an honest smile.

"Don't… say that again!" he hissed. "I'm not crazy!"

"Okay." she whispered and instinctively withdrew from him.

Kevin stared at his gun for a moment. Then he looked into her deep brown eyes and he could see the fear in them and written all over her face – fear of him.

"I never wanted you… to be afraid of me." he whispered.

"I know." she nodded. "Let me get someone to help you!"

He just shook his head.

"You need surgery." she insisted.

"Who… cares?" he coughed again and he could taste the blood in his mouth.

"I do." Penelope whispered.

For a few seconds he just stared at her before he rattled: "No, you don't."

"Obviously, you don't know me half as good as you think you do." she whispered. "I can wait until you're unconscious or maybe even dead and then get out of here and call someone. But I'd rather get you some help."

When he didn't answer she decided that she could as well dare. So she reached for the handle.

"Wait!" he whispered without opening his eyes anymore. He reached into his pocket and handed her a phone.

She took the phone from him and gave him the most honest smile she could manage. "Thank you." she whispered before she quickly dialed the familiar number clutching the phone to her ear and silently praying for him to pick up.

"Morgan?" she heard him growl into the phone.

"Derek?" even Kevin could hear the relief in her voice.

"Baby girl!" he called out causing all agents in the hall to stare at him with expectant looks.

"How's Richard?" she wanted to know. "Kevin shot him and…"

"He'll be fine." Derek assured. "He was hurt pretty badly and certainly has to stay in the hospital for a couple of days, maybe even weeks. He was unconscious most of the time but he'll make it."

She sighed with relief and closed her eyes for a moment.

"Where are you?" she heard him ask.

"I… I'm not sure." she stuttered. "Somewhere along the Russell Road."

"It's okay, we'll find you." he assured her. "Hang in there a few more minutes, we're on our way! Are you alright?"

"I'll be fine." she replied. "But I fear there's a bomb in your car."

"What?!" Derek shouted and ran a hand over his head.

"I'm not sure." she explained. "I mean, he didn't explicitly say that but he threatened to kill you and said that if you tried to follow us you wouldn't get very far."

"That bloody little…" Derek bit his lip. There was no way he would say that when he was on the phone with his baby girl. "Is he still with you?"

"More or less." she eyed the man next to her up. He seemed to be unconscious. "Richard shot him. It's pretty bad, I guess. He lost a lot of blood. I don't know what to do."

He hesitated for a moment. As much as he wanted to see that guy dead for what he did, Derek absolutely didn't want Penelope to have to watch him die. "Is there something you can press on his wound?" he asked already heading for the cars. "Maybe a sweater… or your scarf?"

"Yeah, yeah, the scarf." she quickly took it off and pressed it on Kevin's stomach.

Derek held the phone to his chest for a moment and told Hotch quietly: "Penelope thinks there's a bomb in my car. We'd better not take it."

Nodding Hotch headed for his car instead.

"He's unconscious." Derek heard Penelope say. "At least he's not reacting."

"Is he still breathing?" he wanted to know.

"Yeah, but it's pretty shallow already." she informed him. "Is there anything else I can do?"

"Just keep pressure on his wound. We'll be right there." Derek assured her once more. Fortunately, he was able to keep his promise. Only ten minutes later they saw the car in the parking lot, the flower Penelope had worn in her hair that day stuck on the aerial. "Clever girl." Derek mumbled a little proudly as he jumped out of Hotch's car.

Penelope got out of the car and sighed with relief when she saw Derek pretty much running up to her.

He hurried forward and quickly caught her in his arms. Only when he felt her relax in his arms he felt the tension slowly leaving his body as well.

As much as she wanted to help Kevin when she saw the car arrive and Derek get out she just had to make sure that it was over and that they'd made it through the whole ordeal unscathed.

"Where is he?" Hotch wanted to know.

"In there." she replied pointing her head towards the open door of the passenger's side. "He lost a lot of blood. He needs surgery."

Nodding Hotch checked on the already unconscious man, took his gun and waved the medics nearer.

"Baby girl, are you okay?" Derek asked in concern still refusing to let go of her.

"I am now." she whispered, closed her eyes and leaned her head back against his chest wrapping her arms tightly around him.

"If he hurt you…" he mumbled.

"He didn't." Penelope quickly assured him before he could threaten to kill Kevin. "He just scared me."

"If he touched you or anything…" he started again.

"No." she assured him once more and took a deep breath. "He didn't do me any harm."

"I'd call an attempt to kidnap you doing you harm." Derek objected. "And you don't need to be so compassionate for him. You have every right to be angry at him or even hate him after everything he did to you… to us."

"I don't hate him." she sighed. "I'm angry at him, yes. And I feel sorry for him. I think that he really likes me, he has just a weird way of showing it. He's kinda obsessed with the idea of us being together. I guess he needs help."

"He'll get help." Hotch replied. "As soon as he's served his sentence for shooting a federal agent."

"He saved my life." Penelope told him. "When he and Richard drew their guns Kevin pushed me out of the way."

"But still he shot a federal agent." Derek reminded her and gently kissed the top of her head. "Come on, baby girl, let me take you home!"


	22. Chapter 22

Derek smiled at the X-rated images that sentence produced in his minds

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 22

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** Definitely fluff again! :)

**AN:** _A big thanks to Gretchen for being such an awesome beta-reader! I kept her very busy recently but she never ever complains. :)_

_And a big thanks to all of you who reviewed and/or put the story on their favorites or alert list – especially for waiting so patiently for the update. I hope it was worth the wait. Now I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!_

Derek had tried his best to convince her that she needed to go home and get some rest. But Penelope had insisted they go to the hospital first to check on Richard. So here he was, standing at the reception desk while Penelope was questioning the nurse about any news.

"If you aren't family…" the nurse started once again.

"Look" Penelope interrupted her, "the only family he's got is his wife who is pregnant and not allowed to get up until it's safe for her baby to be born – so she can't come here. I would at least like to tell her how her husband is so that she won't completely freak when I tell her that he was shot."

"I understand that." the nurse sighed. "But still I can't…"

Penelope leaned forward a little and lowered her voice so that only the nurse could hear her. That was it, Derek smiled to himself.

"Okay, we can play this game here forever" Penelope said, "or I can just hack your computer, get the information I want and mess with your system a little because you weren't the least bit cooperative. I wonder how long it might take you to fix things if I delete some of your programs or maybe just some files depending on the mood I'm in. It's up to you."

"You can't…" the nurse stumbled but the look on Penelope's face told her that the blonde could and would do what she'd just said. "Okay." the nurse finally gave in. "I'll… I'll call the doctor. Mr. Goodman's in room 432. You take the elevator to the fourth floor, then turn right and it's the last door on the left."

"Thank you." Penelope smiled at the woman and then linked arms with Derek following the nurse's instructions.

When they came near the large glass door leading into Richard's room Derek felt Penelope's grip tighten – and his heart as well. Only a few months back she'd been the one lying in such a room with all the wires attached to her and all the medical equipment surrounding her. And it had been close today, very close, to her ending up in the next room.

Derek squeezed her hand and placed a comforting kiss on her temple. Then they stepped in.

"Hey." Richard greeted a little huskily. "You're alright?"

"Yes." Penelope leaned down to kiss his cheek and wiped a tear from her eye. "Thanks to you."

"Was worth it, I guess." he chuckled causing her to blush a little. Richard examined Penelope closely and when he noticed her shiver he wanted to know: "So I figure you caught the guy, right?"

"Yeah, he gave up, kind of." she replied. "I mean, he had to after you shot him."

Richard frowned: "Is he dead?"

"No, he's two floors up." Derek told him. "He lost a lot of blood but he'll make it. He's under arrest, of course. Once he's healed they'll press charges."

"Good to know." Richard closed his eyes for a moment. Then suddenly his eyes flew open and he'd certainly jumped out of the bed – not really a good idea considering his condition – if Penelope hadn't placed both her hands on his shoulders to keep him from doing so. "Oh, my God!" he exclaimed. "How's Melissa?"

"We haven't talked to her yet." Penelope replied. "We wanted to check on you first so we can give her some information about your condition."

Sighing Richard rolled his eyes: "She's gonna kill me if she finds out that I was shot."

"I'll tell her that you saved my life." Penelope smiled at him. "I hope that'll calm her down."

"But still I can't stay here." he stated and wanted to jump up again.

"Hey, easy, buddy." Derek scolded him. "You won't get outta here any sooner if you rip your stitches."

"I know." he moaned and let himself sink back against the pillow. "But you don't understand that. Melissa isn't allowed to get up. She needs someone to take care of her. She can call her parents, of course, but it'll take them at least a day to be here and until then she's on her own. I mean, a few hours, okay, but more than a day?! That's impossible, if she stands up and walks around too much…"

"Richard" Penelope softly interrupted him, "stop worrying and concentrate on getting better! I'll call your in-laws and explain the situation to them."

"But…" he tried to protest.

But Penelope continued: "And I'll stay with Melissa until they arrive, I promise."

"You'd do that?" he asked obviously touched by the offer.

"That's the least I can do." Penelope smiled at him. "I owe you."

"No, you don't." he objected. "Seriously, I'd do that again if I had to. And I didn't just…"

"Relax, buddy." Derek chuckled. "She would have offered that anyway even if you hadn't saved her life."

"Oh, well, thank you." he smiled at them.

"Get some rest!" Penelope advised and bowed out. "You need to get better as soon as possible."

When Penelope had left the room Derek turned around once more before he followed her and said with all seriousness: "Thank you, man! I owe you, I really do." Then he nodded his head goodbye and left as well.

As Richard had predicted Melissa freaked when she heard that her husband had been shot – and who could blame her for that?

"Melissa, calm down!" Penelope begged. "He's alive and he'll be fine in no time at all."

Melissa held her breath and stared at the other woman for a moment before she let it out in an insecure sigh and whispered: "Really?"

"Yes, I promise." Penelope smiled at her.

"How… How did it happen?" she wanted to know as she settled back against the pillows on her bed.

"He tried to thwart an attempted kidnapping." Derek told her. "And the kidnapper shot him. But your husband got a pretty good shot at the kidnapper as well."

"Oh, my God! Whom did they want to kidnap?" Melissa gasped.

"Me." Penelope admitted calmly and gave her a soft smile. For a moment the room was dead silent before Penelope added: "Richard saved my life."

"Oh." was all Melissa said before she burst into tears.

Penelope put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "He's gonna be alright and back here with you very soon." she assured her. "I'll call your parents and ask them to come here and look after you. Until they arrive, I fear you have to deal with me."

"Us." Derek added and before Penelope could object he continued: "Just in case you need someone to lift you up off the bed or anything."

This however caused Melissa to blush and she sniffled a 'thank you' before she sank back against the pillows once more and closed her eyes.

Silently they walked outside and left the door ajar so they could hear Melissa if she needed anything.

"You really don't have to stay." Penelope said once they were in the living room.

"Don't even think about sending me away!" Derek softly scolded her as he pulled her into a tight embrace.

With a contented sigh she relaxed in his arms, leaned her head against his chest and closed her eyes.

"I came close to losing you today" Derek whispered into her hair, "too close. And I'm not going anywhere without you tonight."

"You need to take care of Clooney." she reminded him.

"I called Reid." he replied and wrapped his arms tighter around her. "As I said I'm not gonna leave you alone."

"Kevin won't come after me again." Penelope argued even though she had absolutely no intention of letting their embrace end anytime soon. "I'm safe."

"I know." Derek nodded and kissed the top of her head.

Penelope didn't let go and for a long time they just held each other. Then she raised her head to look at him and asked: "Can we call your mom and your sisters?"

"Sure" Derek frowned at her, "but I don't think we should tell them what happened today."

"That was not why I wanted to call them." she told him.

This just confused him more instead of clarifying anything. Penelope could tell that from the look on his face so she explained: "I came very close to losing you today as well, and losing all we have. And I realized that maybe we took too much time. I mean, we don't even have a date for the wedding and…"

"What about the seventh of July?" he asked. "That's a nice date and we still have plenty of time for the preparation."

"No" she quickly objected, "you misunderstood me. I don't just want to have a date for the wedding. I want to get married as soon as possible."

"Meaning…"

"Next week." she told him. "And I want to ask your mom and your sisters if they can make it in time and maybe help us a little."

Grinning Derek fished out his cell phone and flipped it open.

Of course, his sisters freaked with joy – as well as Fran, but she concealed it a whole lot better – and of course they arrived the next day and took almost all the preparations into their own hands. Of course, Derek and Penelope were still involved.

Being completely wrapped up with work and the preparations for their wedding, they hardly got any time on their own anymore. But neither of them regretted the decision they'd made. Getting married as soon as possible meant friends and family interfering in their preparations for one week – and not for a month or so if they'd planned it in a longer term.

Sighing Derek let himself drop down on the couch and put his arm around his beautiful very-soon-to-be wife. He was grateful that for the first time in two and a half days his mom and sisters had gone shopping without taking Penelope with them – which meant he was allowed to spend some time on his own with his goddess.

"Are they driving you insane already?" she giggled.

"Yeah, and it only took them two days." he grumbled rolling his eyes.

"Aw, don't be so mean!" Penelope scolded him and playfully slapped his chest. "I like having them around."

"I know." Derek smiled at her, a smile that quickly turned from warm to somewhat naughty and he added: "But I'd love to have you all to myself again."

That statement made Penelope giggle as she leaned closer to her chocolate god herself taking in the scent of him deeply.

He gently took her hand in his, raised it to his lips and started to nibble on a special spot on her wrist he'd found just some days ago causing her eyes to flutter shut. He knew that his sisters could come back any minute, but he simply wasn't able to stop. After all, they'd had to do almost three days without considerably much time for themselves.

They both let out a soft sigh as their lips met for the first time in what seemed like ages.

"Hm… I missed you, Goddess." he whispered against her lips and pulled her closer.

"I missed you, too, Sweetness." she replied in a low voice and willingly climbed onto his lap.

Smiling he leaned down to nibble her neck once again and Penelope wrapped both her arms around his neck. And that was the exact moment the door to his apartment flew open and they heard a familiar giggle before Sarah scolded: "Hey, behave, you not-yet-married ones!"

"Very funny." Derek grumbled and most definitely grudgingly let go of Penelope who quickly got off his lap.

"Get up and help me with dinner, baby brother!" Des told him as his two sisters disappeared in his kitchen.

Derek just grumbled.

"Come on" Penelope gave him a warm and hopefully comforting smile, "we wouldn't be able to get married so soon without their help."

"I know." he sighed and grabbed her hand entwining his fingers with hers. "But I'd love to be able to spend some time with you – alone." Smiling he placed a gentle kiss at the back of her hand. "That's why I want to get you out of here tomorrow for a little trip."

Her face lit up considerably: "Where will we go?"

The smile on Derek's face became a little mysterious as he replied: "That's the surprise."

Penelope's eyes widened and then she grinned at him. "Wh…" she started.

But Derek quickly cut her off: "I'm not going to tell you, baby girl. If I did it wouldn't be a surprise anymore."

Penelope didn't get to argue with him about it because Des and Sarah called for them from the kitchen. Des tied an apron round the hips of a loudly protesting Derek and Sarah grabbed Penelope's hand and pulled the younger woman with her to the bedroom.

"So" she said conspiratorially, "you have something old."

"The bridal dress." Penelope nodded. "It's my mom's. But I still…"

"Mom didn't go shopping with us. Instead she changed the dress for you already." Sarah interrupted her very well knowing what Penelope wanted to say. "She'll come by later today for you to try it on."

She didn't know what to say but wiped a tear from her eye. That was the most beautiful thing that anyone had ever done for her, Penelope thought.

"And you have something new." Sarah continued.

"My shoes." Penelope agreed. She smiled at the remembrance of how they'd spent the whole day in town yesterday looking for exactly these shoes.

"And you have something borrowed." Sarah told her and grinned as she held out some ear rings for Penelope.

"Really?" she squealed and took the silvery pieces of jewelry from Sarah smiling at the small diamonds in the shape of a heart.

"Sure." Sarah grinned. Penelope had paid her compliments about the ear rings and told her how much she liked them. Besides Sarah knew that Penelope's jewelry didn't really go with a bridal dress.

"Thank you." she smiled emotionally and pulled her soon-to-be sister-in-law into a tight embrace.

"You're most welcome." Sarah hugged her back and smiled to herself. Penelope would love her wedding gift.

"But you still need something blue." Sarah reminded her when they pulled back. "And I have a very good idea what you can wear."

The wide grin on Sarah's face made Penelope feel slightly uncomfortable. She wasn't sure she was going to like what the older woman was thinking of. And when Sarah pulled the blue item out of her pocket and held it out for her Penelope blushed.

"Come on" Sarah giggled, "it's blue and it won't be seen under your dress."

"I don't know…" Penelope mumbled insecurely.

"Besides, Derek's gonna love this." Sarah waggled her eyebrows causing Penelope to giggle as well as she took the garter from Sarah.

"Okay, so tomorrow we're gonna talk to the catering service and order the flower arrangement." Sarah said.

"Oh, well, I… I don't think I'll have time for that tomorrow." Penelope mumbled. When Sarah gave her a puzzled look she explained: "You know, Derek wants to take me out somewhere. He didn't say anything specific, just that it's a surprise."

"Oooh" Sarah grinned at her, "well, then Des and me will take care of that."

"Really, I can't ask you to do that." Penelope argued.

"You're not asking us." Sarah shrugged. "We like to do that. So don't worry, enjoy your day with my brother and let us worry about the rest. I bet he just wanted to finally be alone with you." she giggled.

And Penelope blushed once more.


	23. Chapter 23

Derek smiled at the X-rated images that sentence produced in his minds

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 23

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** Definitely fluff again! :)

**AN:** _I know, it's been a long time even though I promised I'd hurry. Well, things are still somehow crazy over here but I'm honestly trying to make it better. Anyways, there will be one more chapter but it certainly won't end like all of you want it to. But this is just because I'm planning on writing a sequel that somehow doesn't work as a single story._

_But now I hope you enjoy this chapter!_

"You still won't tell me where we're going, right?" Penelope asked. They'd shared another breakfast in bed that Saturday, taken Clooney for a walk and after lunch Derek had finally told her it was time for the surprise. She'd been jittery ever since Derek had told her what he'd planned for today.

Now she felt a little awkward being blindfolded in his car. But she wasn't scared, it was amazing how safe she felt when she was with him.

"Sorry, sweetness." Derek smiled at her. "As I said it's gonna be a surprise. But you'll see it in less than five minutes, I promise."

"You already said that half an hour ago." she grumbled.

Derek just chuckled slightly. "You're pretty impatient, goddess."

"Of course, I am." she grinned. "You've been keeping me in suspense long enough."

"We're here." he announced. He certainly wouldn't tell her that he'd just been cruising around for the past thirty minutes so she wouldn't notice their destination was pretty close to his apartment.

"Finally." Penelope mumbled as she waited for Derek to help her out of his car since she still wasn't allowed to take of the blindfold.

When Derek removed it her jaw dropped. She looked at Derek and then back at the sight in front of her. "No." she just whispered.

"Yes." Derek grinned. "Come on and take a closer look!"

The house was huge, to say the least, and it was fully furnished. No, that was certainly the wrong description because it didn't look like someone had lived in it lately. There was only the basic furniture, beds in the bedroom and the two guestrooms, a few dressers and wardrobes as well as tables and chairs but no personal things.

Nonetheless it looked very cozy, especially with the fireplace in the huge living room with the lambskin in front of it.

When Penelope stepped inside she gasped at the sight in front of her. To her left there was the huge living room, a nice living room suit in it's middle facing the fireplace and the huge TV screen that was hanging on the wall nearby.

Opposite the entrance there was a large glass door leading to the back porch and a garden. And to the right there was the kitchen which was almost as big as Penelope's whole apartment – or at least it seemed like that to her. There was a low kitchen counter separating the kitchen from the living room.

The table in the middle of the kitchen was big enough for the whole team and Derek's family to sit down at it, not to mention the cupboards that could hold Derek's and her own dishes at least two times. And there were a high tech oven, a microwave and a dishwasher built into the kitchen.

Behind the front door to the right there were stairs leading to the second floor and under them a door that lead into the flagged bathroom which had a shower and a huge bathtub in it. Next to the bathroom there was a guest room and the last door downstairs let Penelope's jaw drop again. The room behind it was about half as big as her office at Quantico and there were three computer screens hanging on the wall, another two standing on the table.

There was a wireless keyboard, a high tech multifunctional printer and a tool kit that looked exactly like the one she had in her office to fix her computers there. Penelope could see the internet connection and the empty space for her own laptop.

"In case you want to or need to work at home some day." Derek smiled at her.

"I love it." Penelope whispered. It was hard to believe that Derek had done all this just for her. "Thank you." she turned around to pull him into a passionate kiss.

Chuckling to himself Derek led her upstairs where he showed her the two other guest rooms and the bathroom that was even bigger than the one downstairs. He saved the master bedroom for last and when Penelope stepped in she knew why.

The walls were purple, just the same color she'd used to paint the walls of her apartment. And there were some of her accessories in a shelf that looked like the one in her living room and Penelope could have sworn they had still been in their places at her apartment last time she'd been there.

"I hope you like it." Derek grinned. "It took me a while to find the right color."

"How did you…" she whispered pointing at the shelf with her accessories.

"A magician never reveals his secrets." he smiled as he wrapped his arms around her. "I just wanted you to feel at home here."

"I do." she nodded as she sank back into his arms. "Actually, I was just thinking whether Fran, Des and Sarah could forgive us if we stayed overnight."

"Hm… I was hoping for you to say that." he smiled and nibbled her neck once again. That could definitely become his favorite pastime, Penelope just tasted so good and Derek loved the soft moans this could draw from her lips.

"Why?" she sighed as a pleasurable thrill rushed through her body.

"What?" he whispered all wrapped up in the taste and the feeling of her soft skin.

"You just said you were glad that I want to spend the night here." she reminded him with a soft giggle.

"I remember." he chuckled and unwillingly let go of her. Then he led her to a huge walk-in closet and grinned as he opened the door.

"You took care of everything, didn't you?" Penelope giggled as her eyes fell upon a collection of her favorite clothes.

"I tried my best." the grin on his face became just a little wider. "So you think you could stand spending a while here?"

"Not only that." she smiled as she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him. "I could totally stand spending the rest of my life here. How fast do you think I can terminate my lease?!"

"So I guess you like it." he smiled contentedly.

Penelope nodded and gave him a soft kiss. "It's perfect."

"And you haven't even seen all of it yet." Derek softly pecked her lips before he grabbed her hand and pulled her with him into the next room.

Penelope was completely stunned at the sight in front of her. Her vision blurred as tears filled her eyes and she quickly wiped them away.

"I wanted to keep it neutral." Derek softly said pointing at the walls that were painted in a warm yellow.

"It's so beautiful." she whispered as she took a step forward and traced the line of the wooden crib with her fingers.

"The crib's a gift from mom." Derek proudly informed her. "It was mine until I was about two."

Penelope turned towards him and gave him a watery smile. "I don't know what to say." she whispered and wiped away the new tears that were running down her cheeks. "I never thought… I… That's so not fair."

Smiling Derek caught her in his arms and swayed her from side to side. "I never thought I wanted children either until we became serious. Mom completely freaked when I asked her for the crib."

"Yeah, I can imagine that." Penelope sniffled against his chest.

Derek gently placed his finger under her chin and lifted her head to give her a soft kiss. "Come on, baby girl. There's still something I want to show you."

That being said he grabbed her hand and led her back downstairs and into the huge garden.

About half an hour later they were lying in the hammock in the beautiful garden behind the house, just slightly swinging. Penelope's back was settled against Derek's chest, her head resting on his shoulder.

"Well, my sweet lady, do you like your surprise?" Derek whispered into her ear.

"It's perfect." she smiled and closed her eyes happily. "So, how did you know which equipment I needed to work at home and, most of all, how did you get it all installed?"

"Nancy Moore helped me a little." he explained.

"The technical analyst from the third floor?" she turned her head a little to look at him.

"Yeah" Derek chuckled, "she helped me pick out all that stuff since I don't know that much about computers."

"So that other girl, the one you met for lunch, was a realtor who helped you pick the house and buy it?" Kevin's description just didn't fit Nancy Moore.

"No" Derek chuckled, "the house was already mine. I met her to prepare another surprise."

She almost sat upright. "What other surprise?"

"Later, baby girl." he smiled and pulled her back against him. "Let's enjoy this a little longer."

They spent the rest of the afternoon in the hammock talking about additional furnishing and accessories for the house until Derek suggested going inside and having dinner. They ordered some food from a nearby restaurant and Derek started a fire in the fireside.

"So" Penelope started and picked at the food on her plate basically so that she didn't have to look at him, "this is… was your… love nest or something?"

Derek frowned at her. It wasn't even necessary to be a profiler to tell from her behavior that she was feeling uncomfortable at asking this but yet had to know. "What do you mean?" he pressed her, even though he had a slight idea of what she was talking about.

"Well… I was just wondering…" she continued and cleared her throat, looking further down out of embarrassment and a whiff of fear of what he might answer. "The house is impressive so why not… you know? You certainly took many of your dates here." _All of them, presumably._

"No" Derek chuckled, "actually not one."

This however caused her head to shoot up and she looked at him in confusion. Did that mean that she was the first woman he'd gone out with to ever see this place?

Giving her a warm smile he reached out to cup her cheek and softly explained: "When I bought this house I knew that it was special, that it would be the place for me to settle down and start a family. That's why I only wanted to show it to the one woman I wanted to have this family with."

His words had often managed to take her by surprise, touch her deeply and leave her speechless. But what she felt at the moment was exceeding everything she'd ever felt before. Her heart was aching with emotion and she felt as if she was about to burst with pure joy.

When Derek saw the tears forming in her eyes he thought that maybe his statement had been a little overdone. Not that he hadn't meant it, but he hadn't wanted her to start crying – no matter if with joy or not. Moreover, the silence that settled between them was starting to get oppressive. Every attempt to continue this conversation in a serious way was useless after what he'd just said because they would automatically try to better it.

So he decided that it was time to lighten up the mood a little. "Besides I still had three other houses I could take them to."

Penelope was puzzled for a minute. But when she saw the playfulness in his eyes she laughed and quickly wiped the tears from her eyes. And then she grabbed his shirt to pull him into a very passionate kiss.

"Wow!" Derek panted as they broke the kiss for air. "I didn't know you could be so greedy."

This caused her cheeks to turn the cutest and most definitely sexiest shade of pink he'd ever seen. He felt a sudden want rising in his chest. A feeling that wasn't the least bit unknown to him, but the intensity was somewhat new.

He couldn't resist, so he leaned over to steal another hungry kiss from her.

"It's not like you're really frugal." she gasped.

"All because of you." he mumbled against her lips as he pulled her onto his lap. "God, I want you so much!" he added as he started to nibble her neck once more. He was so addicted to that, he could have spent hours doing nothing but his best to leave a mark there – and tasting her soft skin.

"Yeah, that's… kinda obvious." Penelope couldn't stop the soft moan he drew from her lips, nor the shiver his touch sent through her body as his hand slid under her shirt, a shiver of excitement and lust mixed with an ever so tiny touch of apprehension.

But it was enough for Derek to notice. Enough to make him stop and look at her. "Are you okay?" the concern was more than evident in his voice. But there also was something else.

"Yeah, I… I'm fine." she mumbled and looked down. "Just… you know…"

"We still don't have to do this." Derek gently reminded her. "As much as I want this to happen, the last thing I want is to make you feel forced to do something you're not yet…"

"I want this." she interrupted him nervously looking anywhere but into his eyes.

Derek waited for her to say anything in addition. He didn't even need to profile her to know that there was more to it. "But?" he softly asked.

She didn't answer but just shrugged.

"Maybe we should wait." Derek decided and let go of her. She obviously wasn't ready for this no matter how much she pretended to be.

"No" she quickly objected. "I… don't stop!"

Derek sighed and frowned at her. As much as he loved Penelope sometimes she gave him a really hard time understanding her. Why couldn't she just talk to him? "You're not ready for this." he stated.

"I am!" Penelope assured him. "It's just…"

"What is it?" he demanded to know when she refused to finish the sentence.

"It's stupid." Penelope whispered and looked further down.

"It's bothering you." he stated trying to look into her face, but she still avoided his look. "Then it can't be stupid."

"It's just… you know…" God, why couldn't the ground just open up and swallow her right now?! Penelope took a deep breath and failed trying not to blush. That was going to be so embarrassing! "Well…" she started to stutter, "you're… so… experienced and… I'm… not." There, she'd said it. And it was stupid!

Derek frowned at her. He opened his mouth to say something in return – but since he wasn't sure what her words were supposed to mean, he wasn't sure how to answer.

When Derek didn't say anything in return Penelope was frightened that he might have gotten wrong what she'd just said so she quickly added: "It's not that I haven't had sex before it's just that… well, it's been quite a while and… Could we end this conversation?"

"Baby, why is this bothering you?" he asked softly.

Again she just shrugged.

Derek gave her a scolding frown: "Talk to me, Penelope!"

"I just… don't want you to be… disappointed." she whispered.

Derek boggled and stared at her for a second. "Why would I be?"

She finally raised her head to look at him again and she could see that he really had no idea what she was so apprehensive of. A small smile formed on her face: "I told you it was stupid."

"Why, Penelope?" he insisted.

"Because… I don't know." she whispered. "I'm so not like the women you had before and…"

"This is not some competition." he burst out before he could even think about it.

"I know" she assured him, "but… I mean… Seeing me topless is one thing but completely naked…"

That word drew a low growl from Derek's chest and Penelope smiled shyly.

"Stop worrying so much." he said in a deep, calm and somewhat seductive voice. "I don't expect anything from you, just that you lean back and enjoy this!"

Her whole body was trembling as she did as she was told and laid back on the lambskin. But Derek was so sweet and gentle that soon Penelope stopped caring about anything else but him, his kisses and his touch. That night he achieved something no one had ever been able to do before.

For the first time in her life Penelope felt beautiful and adorable.


	24. Chapter 24

**Title: **Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 24

**Pairing:** Morgan/Garcia

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

**Summary:** That's what in my humble opinion should have happened after 'True Night'.

**warnings:** some fluff and angst

**AN:** _First of all let me once again thank my incredibly fast beta-reader Gretchen. I swear, I hadn't even sent this chapter over and she'd already beta-read it for me._

_And thanks for all the wonderful reviews again, I hope I answered all of them already. If not, I'm sorry, but they were nonetheless very much appreciated._

_Then, please don't kill me for the end of this chapter! Yes, this story is complete. BUT there will be a sequel which will continue where this story left off and I promise you won't have to wait too long. Well, less than the hiatus, hopefully. :) But now enjoy the fluffy parts of this chapter!_

The first thing Penelope noticed when she woke up the next morning was the sunlight shining into the room through the large window. Sighing contentedly she stretched and sat up – only then did she notice that the bed next to her was empty. When she heard the water running in the bathroom through the half-open door, she considered following him but then decided against it. If she did, they'd certainly never show up at work – at least not today.

She couldn't help but smile when her thoughts went back to the events of the last night. She wasn't sure when they'd finally made it into the large bed in their bedroom. _Their bedroom_, Penelope smiled at that thought. She'd just been too wrapped up in the emotions Derek had made her feel to really notice how he'd carried her upstairs and laid her on the bed. All she knew was that she'd never been so happy before.

Under the shower Derek almost had to laugh at himself. He caught himself humming at least three times. That was so cheesy! But he couldn't remember when he'd last felt so happy and light-hearted. So he just felt like humming. He even had to turn the water cooler when he thought about last night. He'd considered waking her up and taking her with him to shower but they really needed to get to work so he'd scrapped that plan.

"Good morning, my love." he grinned when he walked back into their bedroom.

"I'll show you a good morning, stud muffin." she grinned back at him.

Smiling lecherously he sat down on the bed and gave his soon-to-be wife a soft lingering kiss. "As much as I'd love to let you do that, I fear you really need to get dressed now. Because if you don't, we won't leave this bed within the next three hours."

This caused a low, seductive growl in her throat and Derek swallowed hard.

"Am I turning you on?" she whispered and leaned closer letting the blanket drop slightly.

"Since the day we met, buttercup." Derek smiled and kissed her again. "What do you want for breakfast?" he then asked – basically to change the topic.

"I don't care" Penelope shrugged nonchalantly – but with a naughty grin on her pretty face, "as long as you're the dessert."

"As much as I'd love that, as I said we don't have the time for it now." he sighed.

Seeing her pout Derek laughed and then added with a wink: "Maybe after lunch."

After breakfast they immediately drove to work – by that avoiding the questions with which Des and Sarah would surely have bombarded them about not coming home for the night. Unfortunately, they couldn't avoid JJ and Emily who were just as curious. And other than Des and Sarah they didn't even need to know that Derek and Penelope hadn't spent the night home to sense that something was going on.

"Okay" JJ burst into Penelope's office only seconds after their briefing and let herself drop down in a chair next to Penelope while Emily – following JJ – leaned against one of her computer desks, "spill it out!"

"I… um… I'm not sure what you expect me to tell you." Penelope replied giving both of them her best innocent look.

JJ rolled her eyes theatrically.

It was Emily who let her in on what had tipped them off this morning: "You've been humming all morning long."

"That's not true." Penelope quickly objected even though she wasn't entirely sure that she really hadn't been humming.

"Denial!" JJ and Emily sing-songed simultaneously.

"What? I'm gonna get married to the man of my dreams in less than three days." Penelope shrugged. "Can't I just be… happy about that?"

"Come on, there's more to it." JJ conjectured.

"No." Penelope slowly denied but her smile gave away that she wasn't telling the truth.

"Oh… my… God!" Emily said emphasizing every word. Then a grin appeared on her face: "They did it."

Penelope blushed slightly and looked down so that Emily and JJ couldn't see it.

JJ squealed exuberantly and leaned closer to her friend. "Tell us!" she demanded. "Everything!"

"Is he really as… good as he always pretends to be?" Emily wanted to know and waggled her eyebrows at Penelope.

"Well, actually" Penelope mumbled and smiled dreamily, "he's pretty modest about that."

JJ and Emily both let out a teenager-like 'ooooooh' and moved closer to Penelope.

"Derek has been the perfect gentleman." once again the dreamy smile lit up her face.

"We are all ears." JJ grinned.

"I don't know" Penelope mumbled, "I don't think I should…"

"Now, come on!" JJ burst out. "I told you about Will, too."

"Yeah, well, that's not exactly the same." Penelope mumbled. She really wanted to tell them everything about last night – after all Emily and JJ were her best friends and they'd always shared their experiences with each other. Plus, Penelope hadn't exactly had a lot to tell in this regard and now…

But the problem was that JJ and Emily worked with Derek, they saw each other every day. And she absolutely didn't want to expose Derek to their glances because they knew too much.

"Come on!" JJ whined. "We promise he'll never find out! This will stay among us."

"Yeah, I know." Penelope assured. "But… you just know him too well. I mean…"

"Okay, okay, we'll do without too many details." Emily tossed in. "But please, give us something."

"How about we just ask some questions and you… answer them?" JJ suggested.

"Fine" Penelope sighed, "but if they're too inti…" JJ and Emily were much too eager to finally hear whatever they could wrangle out of her to let her finish her sentence.

"So… it was good." JJ grinned and moved her chair a little closer again.

"That's an understatement." Penelope sighed contentedly. "It was amazing. No, even that word doesn't nearly describe it. I never felt anything similar before."

"Okay, now I'm jealous." Emily pouted.

"So it was… satisfying." JJ grinned.

Penelope blushed a little as she mumbled: "You have no idea."

"I guess, he's not a minute man, huh?" Emily exchanged wicked grins with JJ.

"No, most definitely not." Penelope grinned back at them.

Giggling softly JJ wanted to know: "You didn't get much sleep then, huh?"

"No, not exactly." she shrugged.

Emily and JJ both rolled her eyes. "How much!" they pressed her simultaneously.

"About two hours." Penelope admitted.

"Okay, now I am jealous." JJ sighed then she grinned wickedly. "So, how often did you…"

"Oh, my God, is it that late already?" Penelope burst out and jumped up from her chair. "I… um… I need to go."

"What?" JJ almost shrieked. "Where?"

"I have a date… for lunch… with Derek." she reluctantly replied.

"We'll join you." Emily quickly offered and JJ stood up.

"No!" Penelope almost yelled at them. "I mean… we… we wanted to go and get our wedding bands and then talk to the florist and… all pretty boring stuff."

"Oh, okay." JJ frowned at her friend and watched her rush out of her office. "Is it just me or was she acting really strange?"

"His car has tinted windows, right?" Emily shrugged.

JJ's eyes almost popped out of her head as she turned to Emily and whispered: "You don't think they'll… They wouldn't… Oh, my God!"

They both didn't realize that Penelope was still standing outside her office overhearing their little conversation. Now she wasn't so sure anymore if this really was a good idea. But Derek was waiting for her and she should at least show up in the parking lot.

When she stepped out of the elevator and saw him nonchalantly leaning against his car smiling her heart beat sped up immediately. God, how she wanted this man! This definitely was a good idea.

Derek had been waiting for at least fifteen minutes and had feared that Penelope wouldn't come, that she'd considered this too dangerous or too inappropriate – maybe he'd just suggested this too early. But then the doors opened and he saw his baby girl walking up at him and he couldn't help but smile.

He noticed that she walked faster with every step she took in the end she was almost running towards him and he took a step forward and opened his mouth to say something to lighten up the mood and tease her a little but was cut off when her lips met his in a hungry kiss.

"I'm sorry." she panted when they broke the kiss for air.

"I was afraid you changed your mind." he admitted as he softly smiled down at her.

Grinning lecherously Penelope opened the back door of his car and replied: "Most definitely not. JJ and Emily were… holding me up a little."

Smiling Derek climbed on his back seat and waited for his goddess to settle on his lap. "They were pelting you with questions, huh?" he whispered between soft nibbles on her neck while his hands worked fast on the buttons of her blouse.

"Yeah" she gasped and quickly freed him off his shirt, "they said I was humming."

This however caused him to chuckle. He certainly would have laughed out loud hadn't he been so wrapped up by what her hands were doing to him right now.

"What's… so funny?" Penelope wanted to know.

"Reid said the same about me." Derek admitted as his hands wandered up her thighs.

She wanted to say something, something witty or at least something funny, in return – but all thoughts were immediately blown out of her mind when Derek's hand reached his target. She tried hard to remain silent and Derek's mouth on hers swallowed most of the sounds he drew from her lips. But she could only hope that no one was anywhere near the car when he made her call out his name.

"You're hot, you know that?" Derek said once he was able to speak again.

It would have been a sweet remark hadn't it been for the clear hint of worry in his voice when his hand came up to feel her forehead. "You're feverish." he stated. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah" she sighed happily her head resting against his shoulder, "maybe a little exhausted."

"You're sure?" he insisted. "You don't feel… ill or something?"

"No, I'm fine." Penelope assured once more. "It's certainly just the flu – if it is anything at all. Don't worry so much!"

But of course, Derek wouldn't listen. He was his usual overprotective self during the next few days and was slowly driving Penelope insane. Fortunately, she at least managed to distract him every once in a while – even though it was pretty hard given that he wanted to wait until she was better. He almost wouldn't let her go to her bridal shower, but fortunately Fran, Des and Sarah did their best to convince him to let her go.

"He loves you." Des giggled, already a little tipsy after her third glass of wine, when she watched Penelope close her cell phone for the fifth time that evening.

"I'd say he's obsessed." Emily grinned.

"Thanks, you're helping a lot." Penelope mumbled. "What's so bad about having the flu? It's not like I'm about to die or anything."

"Relax" Sarah smiled at her, "you'll marry him tomorrow and when you're on your honeymoon he'll soon forget about all that."

"Even though I'm pretty sure he won't let her leave the bed then either." JJ – who was the only sober person in this room due to her pregnancy – tossed in.

"Yeah, but I bet Penelope won't complain then." Emily added causing everyone to burst out laughing and Penelope to blush.

"Okay, it's time for your presents!" Sarah announced handing Penelope the first box.

About an hour later the floor on Emily's house – who had insisted that the party should take place there – was covered with ripped off paper and Penelope's presents were neatly arranged on a nearby table.

"Thank you." she smiled. "All of you! I can't tell you how happy I am. I'm just… overwhelmed by how much all of you did for me already to make this all possible. I know that I… forced this a little and you still organized this wonderful bridal shower for me and helped me move in with Derek. Tomorrow I'm going to get married to the man I loved for as long as I can remember. And that's not least thanks to all of you."

"You're most welcome." Emily smiled. "We all know that you'd do the same for us."

"And we totally expect you to." JJ grinned to lighten up the emotional mood. In her current condition too much emotion just wasn't what she needed.

"Oh, look!" Des suddenly caught everyone's attention and reached out to the envelope that had caught hers. "Seems like there's one present left." she grinned and handed the find to Penelope.

"From whom is it?" the other three girls wanted to know.

"From Derek." Des told them and waggled her eyebrows as they all watched with growing curiosity as Penelope opened the envelope.

"What does the groom give the bride one day before their wedding?" Sarah wondered.

Smiling curiously Penelope opened the envelope and pulled out the brochure and the letter with Derek's handwriting on it. Only three words but they meant the world to Penelope.

_Whenever you want._

"What is it?" JJ pressed Penelope as she saw the tears spring to her eyes.

Penelope handed the brochure over to JJ and wiped her face with one hand. "When we were in Chicago we watched the dolphin show in the amphitheater and I told him that one day I wanted to swim with the dolphins."

"Aw, and he did everything to make it possible." Emily sighed looking over JJ's shoulder at the brochure of the 'Dolphins Plus' facility in Florida.

"I'm really jealous of you, you know." Des pouted. "I wish I'd find someone who loves me as much as Derek loves you."

Penelope was too stunned to say anything. She wanted to threw herself into Derek's arms and thank him for everything – but unfortunately she wasn't allowed to see him until four p.m. the next day.

Derek was unusually nervous as he was standing at the altar waiting for his bride to walk down the aisle.

But she didn't come. Not even when the music started to play.

"What's wrong?" Derek whispered to Reid.

"Um… I don't know." the younger man mumbled. There surely was no way Penelope had changed her mind. After all, she'd been waiting for this moment for years.

"I'll go and check on her." Fran said calming Derek down. "She's probably just having problems with the dress."

Worriedly Derek watched his mother hurry out of the chapel and back in only seconds later gesticulating agitatedly for him to come and he knew that something was wrong. Forgetting about everything but his baby girl he ran into the room where she'd been waiting for the wedding to start and froze dead a second in the doorway when he saw her lying on the floor, a distinct trail of blood on the upper side of her beautiful dress.

"What happened?" he wanted to know as he knelt down and pulled her into his arms.

"I don't know." Fran replied in a shaky voice. "I found her this way."

"She's burning up." he said feeling her forehead. It seemed that she'd coughed up blood and then passed out. That meant it was bad.

"Call 911!" Derek ordered.

"I already did." Fran told him. "They should arrive any minute."

"Come on, baby girl." Derek whispered as he kissed her forehead. "You can't just leave me like that." But she remained unresponsive.

**AN:** _I know, this is not a good ending to this story. Blame my muse for it. :) But there is a sequel now called 'Don't leave me this way'. There you'll find out what will happen to our favorite couple._


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